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Saturday, April 29, 2017

《拆彈專家》.太陽照常升起的香港


  《風暴》(2013)、《救火英雄》(2014)連同《拆彈專家》(2017)三部合拍片都有著同樣的共通點,《風暴》中的香港警匪槍戰弄至中環地陷,真正「佔領中環」、《救火英雄》因發電廠火災誘發全港大停電,《拆彈專家》匪徒佔領紅隧脅持人質。三部電影啟發了更多的創意,到底下一次香港會不會有外星人侵襲地球?這三部片的特技與故事明顯太誇張失實,但假如沒有內地資金就沒有這類大片,如今警匪片的規模好比戰爭片,某程度上內地不容許這種摧毀一個城市的電影,如果故事不放在香港實在沒地方可放,內地假如拍這種電影更難想像會成什麼樣子。幸好這裡是香港,這裡有無限的可能性。即使發生如此的城市災難,香港人的生活依舊,太陽照常升起。全港停電了,香港人依舊乖乖的沒有暴動。沒有紅隧了,其他交通工具也如常運作,沒有逼爆更沒有塞車、香港發生如此大事,政府沒有人出來警告與宵禁,東西兩隧還因要給人上班而解封。不禁感嘆香港人實在是不怕死的。這三部電影都有很多的犯駁處,到底今時今日的香港電影追求什麼?明星?浪漫化的特技處理?彷彿失去了理性一樣。某程度上觀眾也有一樣的問題,盲目追求視覺的衝擊,像《寒戰》最終得到金像獎般,歷史自有公論。《風暴》與《拆彈專家》的共通點是正義必勝、壞人必死的設定,這種二元的分法是低手的,在杜琪峯的警匪片裡好人與壞人並不會因身份而變得政治正確,比如是《暗戰》裡的劉德華與劉青雲,警匪間有博奕也有互動展示複雜的人性。或許這種所謂「大陸式」的設定為了討好內地方面而欠缺驚喜,在《風暴》裡華仔有不死金身,而《拆彈專家》稍為不同的是它是一部反英雄的電影,華語電影有這樣的結局還是少有的,奈何電影是一部不折不扣讚揚香港警隊正氣形象的主旋律電影,在香港社會很奇怪的明明警察與消防是一份工作卻要標榜為英雄。而這部電影就是為了製造一個英雄,是為華仔個人的獨腳戲,光茫掩蓋其他人。
                         

  嘗試大片的邱禮濤
 B片導演」邱禮濤第一部真正的動作大片,或許這是他的一次走向大片的試驗,在今日香港一年有幾部電影上映的除了葉念琛的愛情電影外,實在沒有那幾位能有一定的數量。一直以來邱禮濤都不算是所謂頂級的導演,但他的作品款式多,題材廣泛,近年比較能引起話題的是《雛妓》,最主要是蔡卓妍的演技走向成熟而注目。從影以來,他的作品多不勝數,最多是拍恐怖片如《陰陽路》系列、也有青春愛情電影,雖然都不是什麼巨作但不過不失。要講他的電影比較具有代表性的是《伊波拉病毒》、《八仙飯店》這兩部也是黃秋生的代表作,前者是香港經典的Cult片,後者是比較血腥的。在《拆彈專家》中有一幕姜武飾的劫匪洪繼鵬斷手短短的一幕某程度也反映了他的標籤。而有一點邱禮濤在香港導演中比較特別的是他也有關心社會的電影,比如是描寫少年犯的《等候董建華發落》、有關街童的青年題材《給他們一個機會》、也有與性工作者有關的系列電影。另外,他也與TVB拍過《Laughing哥》的系列電影與廉政行動。雖然有一些電影未必是他的意願,但做導演也是職人的一種,賺夠錢就可以開自己想拍的類型。

  過去他也曾執導過有關黑社會與飛虎題材的電影,這次《拆彈專家》的規模是他前所未有的一次經歷,在他的電影裡犯駁是常見的,舉個例子在《高舉愛》裡江若琳明明是中國運動員來到香港卻代表中國比賽。在《拆》裡犯駁處也不少,例如香港的隧道脅持事件發生三天,香港沒有政府官員出來解釋、沒有特首、警務處、保安局?難道香港進入無政府狀態?還有是一個警察隨便拿陌生女子回警署?更有點不知所謂的是將一個炸彈丟進維港,維港有船隻航行的,真不怕爆炸影響海上安全。有時候看電影還需要有點理性與基本的認知,尢其是這不是胡混的喜劇,更要顯得專業與令人信服。如果香港警隊如此粗枝大葉去處理就一定是國際笑話。另外一點比較摸不著頭腦的是警察的職責是為了救人,但竟可以一句話置他人的生死於不顧。當隧道內明知的恐怖份子般的劫匪但仍然將人質暴露在危機之中,雖然電影是叫《拆彈專家》但香港警隊是有反恐特勤隊與情報科的、怎會不知有僱傭兵到港,而整場的脅持事件除了在官能上有刺激外,對資料的整理與搜集還是虎頭蛇尾。整部電影構建的警隊只是圍著一個人而轉動,顯得突兀。

  說到邱禮濤與電影比較有心的嘗試就一定是用兩個月時間搭建一個1:1的隧道實景,1.8億打造一部電影在港產片是一個天文數字。隧道的內部完全是一樣,下一年金像獎值得拿一個技術大獎的。而且動員二百架車拍攝與綵排,飛車、爆破、撞車都很逼真,這一點絕對要讚。且劇組真正走進隧道做資料搜集,很多香港人也討厭合拍片,可是沒有資金就沒有這種規模,這是兩難的局面。拍大片也沒有什麼壞處,且電影給人的感覺並沒有完全的遷就內地,有很多熟悉的香港演員與TVB出現的綠葉演員,各有性格與突出的表現,還是挺親切的。唯一敗筆是那一段宋佳與劉德華之間可有可無的愛情故事,不過自古英雄難過美人關,一部電影總要在男性之中找個女性角色平衡一番,彷彿是公式的一部份。陳木勝、林超賢都是擅長拍男人戲、警匪片的導演,而邱禮濤也相對證明自己有實力,他是百搭的人選。但要說到真正的大師,非杜韋配與銀河映像莫屬,至少他們的警匪片並不會很單一與會塑造人物角色的特別之處。話說此片在內地上映有望破個十億票房,在邱導的職業生涯有望上一個高峰,這證明他可以拍不過不失又有話題的商業片。




  捕捉香港人的精神面貌
  當香港的一方發生災難時,到底香港人在幹什麼?沒有一條重要的紅隧,還有地鐵與兩條隧道,警方必須開通給予香港人上班。當那一年社會上發生一件大事時香港人的心也只是想著上班。挺諷刺的。再者,當有人被脅持時香港人關心的不是人命而是股市,而是發災難財。戲裡的另一個笑點是劫匪的要求是要回購西隧,幕後黑手是上市公司的老闆,這樣的設定太天真了吧。回購西隧是投射民情的,但作為條件卻膚淺了一點。

  電影粗疏的是描寫劫匪對臥底探員的復仇,現實中警方的臥底是保密的並不會在報章上現真身,劫匪也無需針對一個人而做大龍鳳,在故事性是薄弱的。而片裡被脅持的草根百姓還反映了香港人貪生怕死的一面,神秘的內地遊客、面面俱圓的香港導遊、休班警與退休警的情熱、三日內逼在隧道而不敢反抗的香港人,三日內不知所措的香港警察與香港政府,更摧毀了香港的經濟命脈而不是設法去挽救。相對《救火英雄》的全港停電,香港竟然無事發生的理想設定,相對這是懶惰草草了事的設定,《拆彈專家》還是有示威遊行、有與新聞有關的情節,但忽略了政府的信息,是一個缺陷。另一個缺陷是《拆彈專家》要衝鋒陷陣兼顧的事情略多,要談判、要指揮、要開槍更要拆彈,有沒有必要將警匪片伸延至戰爭片的格局,而且電影的重心應該放在「拆彈」,但當華仔拆彈時且有意無意將自己暴露在危險之中,又回到常識的問題。電影強調以生命保護生命,但自己也保護不到憑什麼逞英雄。

  從意識形態上去看《風暴》、《救火英雄》與《拆彈專家》將有序與理性埋沒,換取誇張的局面,估計未來會愈來愈多這類的大片,就看何時有外星人侵襲香港,反正無論內地合拍片還是荷里活想要東方色彩就只有取景香港,而西方電影的中國價值觀只有拯救世人,包括《引力邊緣》與《火星任務》的中國拯救論,香港只有亂像橫生,滿足某方面的慾望投射。

  世上只有劉德華

  《拆彈專家》成也華仔、敗也華仔,同時也證明了香港不能沒有劉德華。這個角色實在沒有那一位可以擔當,縱然他拍的電影也有爛片的記錄,但他絕對是票房保證。今時今日香港在歌.影.視、娛樂圈的沒落之下華仔仍然投資在電影身上,年過半百成為人民英雄、人民偶像,沒有多少人可以有如此的吸引力,對他拍動作片還是敬重的。更重要的是沒有華仔支撐著整部戲,這部電影什麼都不是。他是一個全能的影人,雖然有不少人認為他不會有進步,也只能這樣了。劉德華對香港電影與提拔後輩功不可沒,其中一樣是新科的金像影帝林家棟,而這部電影張繼聰與Babyjohn也是亮點之一。雖然電影的劇情叙事略為強差人意,但在技術與心思還是具備的,整體中規中矩。即使發生如此的災難,香港人的心態依然是太陽照常升起。《拆彈專家》與《風暴》猶如是姐妹篇,香港的警匪片再不存在李修賢式的《公僕》與警察故事,接下來將會是不斷的威嚇與爆炸,再也不會再停留在本土黑社會的故事,而是一次比一次更大的恐怖襲擊,一個故事比一個故事更離地。

Friday, April 28, 2017

The Boss Baby Full Movie 2017

The Boss Baby Full Movie 2017



A new baby's arrival impacts a family, told from the point of view of a delightfully unreliable narrator -- a wildly imaginative 7-year-old named Tim. The most unusual Boss Baby (Alec Baldwin) arrives at Tim's home in a taxi, wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. The instant sibling rivalry must soon be put aside when Tim discovers that Boss Baby is actually a spy on a secret mission, and only he can help thwart a dastardly plot that involves an epic battle between puppies and babies.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Transformers: The Last Knight Full Movie 2017

Transformers: The Last Knight Full Movie 2017



Optimus Prime finds his home planet, Cybertron, now a dead planet, in which he comes to find he was responsible for killing. He finds a way to bring the planet back to life, but in order to do so, he needs to find an artifact, which is on Earth.

Cars 3 2017 Full Movie

Cars 3 Full Movie 2017





Blindsided by a new generation of blazing-fast racers, the legendary Lightning McQueen is suddenly pushed out of the sport he loves. To get back in the game, he will need the help of an eager young race technician with her own plan to win, inspiration from the late Fabulous Hudson Hornet, and a few unexpected turns. Proving that #95 isn't through yet will test the heart of a champion on Piston Cup Racing's biggest stage

Health Care and Celiac Disease

Celiac disease is a serious genetic autoimmune disorder, according to the Celiac Disease Foundation, where the ingestion of gluten leads to damage in the small intestine.  It is estimated to affect 1 in 100 people worldwide.  Two and one-half million Americans are undiagnosed and are at risk for long-term health complications.

If you have celiac disease, eating gluten triggers an immune response in your small intestine. Over time, this reaction damages your small intestine's lining and prevents absorption of some nutrients (malabsorption). The intestinal damage often causes diarrhea, fatigue, weight loss, bloating and anemia, and can lead to serious complications, according to the Mayo Clinic.

In children, malabsorption can affect growth and development, in addition to the symptoms seen in adults. There's no cure for celiac disease — but for most people, following a strict gluten-free diet can help manage symptoms and promote intestinal healing. Because people with celiac disease must avoid gluten — a protein found in foods containing wheat, barley and rye — it can be challenging to get enough grains. More information about this medical issue is located at this website: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/celiac-disease/home/ovc-20214625.

Celiac disease cannot be "caught," but rather the potential for celiac disease is in the body from birth. Its onset is not confined to a particular age range or gender, although more women are diagnosed than men, according to the Celiac Support Association. It is not known exactly what activates the disease, however three things are required for a person to develop celiac disease:

·         A genetic disposition:being born with the necessary genes. The Human Leukocyte Antigen (HLA) genes specifically linked to celiac disease are DR3, DQ2 and DQ8...and others.
·         An external trigger: some environmental, emotional or physical event in one’s life. While triggering factors are not fully understood, possibilities include, but are not limited to adding solids to a baby’s diet, going through puberty, enduring a surgery or pregnancy, experiencing a stressful situation, catching a virus, increasing WBRO products in the diet, or developing a bacterial infection to which the immune system responds inappropriately.
·         A diet: containing gluten and related prolamins.
·         Auto-antigen enzyme, tissue transglutaminase (TG2) also TG4 and TG6.
·         Production of proinflammatory cytokines, especially interferon (IFN-γ).

The damage to the small intestine is very slow to develop and is insidious. For more information, visit this website:  https://www.csaceliacs.org/celiac_disease_defined.jsp.

According to this health website: https://familydoctor.org/condition/celiac-disease/, celiac disease can cause a wide range of symptoms, symptoms that change, or sometimes no symptoms at all. Symptoms of celiac disease may include:

·         Infants and young children who have celiac disease are more likely to have digestive symptoms, such as abdominal pain, vomiting, diarrhea (even bloody diarrhea) and constipation, and may fail to grow and gain weight. A child may also be irritable, fretful, emotionally withdrawn, or excessively dependent. If the child becomes malnourished, he or she may have a large tummy, thin thigh muscles, and flat buttocks. Many children who have celiac disease are overweight or obese.
·         Teenagers may have digestive symptoms such as diarrhea and constipation. They may hit puberty late and be short. Celiac disease might cause some hair loss (a condition called alopecia areata) or dental problems.
·         Adults are less likely to have digestive symptoms. Instead, they might have a general feeling of poor health, including fatigue, bone or joint pain, irritability, anxiety and depression, and missed menstrual periods in women. Some adults may have digestive symptoms such as diarrhea or constipation.
·         Osteoporosis (loss of calcium from the bones) and anemia are common in adults who have celiac disease. A symptom of osteoporosis may be nighttime bone pain.
·         Lactose intolerance (a problem digesting milk products) is common in patients of all ages who have celiac disease.
·         Dermatitis herpetiformis (an itchy, blistery skin problem) and canker sores in the mouth are also common problems in people who have celiac disease.

Celiac disease can develop at any age after people start eating foods or medicines that contain gluten. Left untreated, celiac disease can lead to additional serious health problems, as reported by the Celiac Disease Foundation, such as these healthcare issues:

·         Iron deficiency anemia
·         Early onset osteoporosis or osteopenia
·         Infertility and miscarriage
·         Lactose intolerance
·         Vitamin and mineral deficiencies
·         Central and peripheral nervous system disorders, including ataxia, epileptic seizures, dementia, migraine, neuropathy, myopathy and multifocal leucoencephalopathy
·         Pancreatic insufficiency
·         Gall bladder malfunction

Celiac disease is associated with a number of autoimmune disorders and other conditions, with the most common being thyroid disease and Type 1 Diabetes. More details are available at this site: https://celiac.org/celiac-disease/understanding-celiac-disease-2/what-is-celiac-disease/.

According to this advocacy website, https://www.beyondceliac.org/celiac-disease/, there are more than 300 symptoms of celiac disease, and symptoms can be different from person to person. If you have symptoms of celiac disease, especially ones that last a long time, you should ask your doctor for a celiac disease blood test. Left untreated, people with celiac disease are at-risk for serious health consequences, like other autoimmune diseases, osteoporosis, thyroid disease, and even certain cancers.

According to the National Institutes for Health, foods such as meat, fish, fruits, vegetables, rice, and potatoes without additives or seasonings do not contain gluten and are part of a well-balanced diet. You can eat gluten-free types of bread, pasta, and other foods that are now easier to find in stores, restaurants, and at special food companies. You also can eat potato, rice, soy, amaranth, quinoa, buckwheat, or bean flour instead of wheat flour.

In the past, doctors and dietitians advised against eating oats if you have celiac disease. Evidence suggests that most people with the disease can safely eat moderate amounts of oats, as long as they did not come in contact with wheat gluten during processing. You should talk with your health care team about whether to include oats in your diet.

When shopping and eating out, remember to:
·         Read food labels —especially on canned, frozen, and processed foods—for ingredients that contain gluten.
·         Identify foods labelled “gluten-free;” by law, these foods must contain less than 20 parts per million, well below the threshold to cause problems in the great majority of patients with celiac disease.
·         Ask restaurant servers and chefs about how they prepare the food and what is in it
·         Find out whether a gluten-free menu is available.
·         Ask a dinner or party host about gluten-free options before attending a social gathering.

Foods labeled gluten-free tend to cost more than the same foods that have gluten. You may find that naturally gluten-free foods are less expensive. With practice, looking for gluten can become second nature. If you have just been diagnosed with celiac disease, you and your family members may find support groups helpful as you adjust to a new approach to eating. A significant amount of additional support material is found at this website:  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMHT0024528/.

According to Today, could a normally harmless virus cause a sensitivity to gluten? A new study has found that a certain type of virus could trigger a person’s immune system to overreact to gluten, leading to celiac disease. The findings, published this month in Science, provide an explanation for why certain people develop celiac disease.

People with celiac disease had more antibodies to reoviruses in their blood compared to healthy individuals. Furthermore, these people with more antibodies were found to have more of the celiac disease inflammation. Whether a person was infected with reoviruses at some point in the past could explain why they develop celiac at a certain age or had worse symptoms compared to others who were not infected. More information about this research is found here: http://www.today.com/health/celiac-disease-may-be-caused-virus-new-study-finds-t110119.

Regardless of your sensitivity to gluten, you should take preventive measures to ensure you have all the answers about celiac disease. You may suffer from it and not even know you have it. See your family doctor or a health care specialist if you have questions or may be experiencing some of the symptoms. Celiac disease has definite consequences to your health. Don’t take chances.

Until next time.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Marie Antoinette visits the Louvre

 Anonymous, Portrait of Marie Antoinette. Miniature, cloth. Musée du Louvre.

How do you browse an art gallery? Here is a little account of Marie Antoinette visiting the Louvre....


Read more »

Monday, April 24, 2017

The Fate of the Furious 2017 Full Movie

The Fate of the Furious 2017 Full Movie





Now that Dom and Letty are on their honeymoon and Brian and Mia have retired from the game-and the rest of the crew has been exonerated-the globetrotting team has found a semblance of a normal life. But when a mysterious woman seduces Dom into the world of crime he can't seem to escape and a betrayal of those closest to him, they will face trials that will test them as never before. From the shores of Cuba and the streets of New York City to the icy plains off the arctic Barents Sea, the elite force will crisscross the globe to stop an anarchist from unleashing chaos on the world's stage... and to bring home the man who made them a family. Written by harpreet phamber

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Deals and Savings on Many Books in my Seventh Dimension Series



Amazon has agreed to make Seventh Dimension - The Door free  CLICK HERE on Amazon Kindle. If you haven't read it, here are some impressive statistics.



82 reviews, 4.1 stars

bit.ly/the_door   U.S. 
http://bit.ly/LRSmashDoor  Outside the U.S.

2013 International Book Awards Finalist
2013 Grace Awards Finalist
2013 Selah Awards Finalist
2013 Readers' Favorite Finalist
2014 Book Goodies Best Cover Contest Winner, YA category

Seventh Dimension The Door is the first book in the Seventh Dimension Series that combines contemporary, historical, and fantasy elements into a Christian "coming-of-age" story. A curse put on Shale Snyder, because of a secret, shrouds her with insecurity and fear. Following suspension from school, Shale's best friend isn't allowed to see her anymore and she feels abandoned by her family. When a stray dog befriends her, she follows it into the woods. There she discovers a door that leads to another world....




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Am I Okay, God? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD  is a devotional series that goes with the Christian Fantasy Series Seventh Dimension and is available for FREE on Amazon Prime and KINDLE UNLIMITED.





FINALIST 2014 INTERNATIONAL BOOK AWARDS FOR CHRISTIAN INSPIRATIONAL AND BOOK COVER DESIGN and 2015 READERS' FAVORITE FINALIST IN YA NONFICTION


"Am I Okay, God? Devotionals from the Seventh Dimension" answers many questions teens ask dealing with hot topics like self-esteem, dating, bullying, abortion, careers, forgiveness, salvation, and even deeper theological issues related to the end times and the Lord's return. Woven into the devotionals are stories from the Seventh Dimension YA Christian Fantasy Series as well as from the author's life that touch on themes that are important to Christianity and what it means to be born again. Each of the 27 devotionals has a QR code and link to videos, music, and/or books for further discussion and enjoyment.



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The audiobook of Seventh Dimension - The Door , book 1, click here  is available now with an excellent narrator. I've sold many of these books on audio, and I want to help you to discover this audiobook series. To get it for free, I have listed below some free coupons. Seventh Dimension - The Door is listed at $19.95 at audio.com so this is a huge savings. The coupons can only be used once. Be the first to use them!


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To also get Seventh Dimension - The Door, book 1, with a 15% discount off the retail price of $14.95 in PRINT VERSION, visit my eStore at: https://www.createspace.com/4232105
Enter the following discount code: VFTE7DDD. Best price and deal anywhere. 




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Seven Dimension - The King, Book 2 is available in audio book from Audio.com, and I discovered that Audio has it listed for FREE with a 30-day membership. So if you want The King as an audio book, now is the time to get it. The link is: http://bit.ly/Kingaudio2




If you prefer a print book, you can get Seventh Dimension - The King, book 2, for 15% off. This offer is available no where else on the web. It is $13.95 on Amazon. Get here with 15%  off coupon VFTE7DDD  for $11.86 at this link




Seventh Dimension - the King, book 2, is available for $2.99 on Kindle at Amazon. Click here


Seventh Dimension - The King has won the following awards:


-Winner of the 2014 Literary Classics Book Awards for faith-based YA fiction 

-Finalist in the 2014 USA Book Awards for religious fiction
-Winner in the 9th Annual National Indie Excellence Awards for spirituality
-Finalist in the visionary category for the 2015 International Book Awards.
-Silver winner in the 2015 Readers' Favorite Book Awards for YA
-Finalist (fifth) in the 2015 Best Indie Book Award for YA fiction

After a series of devastating events, a gifted seventeen-year-old Israeli boy becomes the focus of a wager between good and evil. Marked by one, he travels to first century Israel and meets a doctor who becomes his mentor. When he unwittingly makes a pact with the devil and the girl he loves is betrothed to another, his life takes a different course - until his eyes are opened. Trapped in the seventh dimension, how far will God go to save him?



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Don't forget, Seventh Dimension - The Door, Book 1, in ebook form is free on Amazon Kindle. Click here.











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ANOTHER AWARD-WINNING BOOK IN THE SERIES 
$1 OFF REGULAR PRICE ON KINDLE.

Seventh Dimension - The Castle, book 3 is available for 3.99 on Kindle.  


Foreword Reviews' 2015 INDIEFAB Book of the Year Awards Finalist

Winner in the 2015 Literary Classics Awards for YA faith-based fiction. 

Finalist: Religious fiction category 2015 USA Best BookAwards. 

Winner of Young Adult Spirituality 2015 - BooksAndAuthors.com

2016 Great Southeast Book Festival Runner Up Winner for YA

2016 New York Book Festival Honorable Mention. 

The Seventh Dimension Award-Winning Series continues in "The Castle." 

Haunted by a recurring dream of his missing father in a mysterious castle, 17-year-old Daniel is captured by the Romans and finds asylum in the Temple. There he discovers a scroll that reveals his future concerning a wager between good and evil. 

But the stakes are raised when he witnesses the trial and crucifixion of Yeshua. The convergence of time with supernatural events creates a suspenseful ending and leads to the fourth book in the Seventh Dimension Series, The City.




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Important Author Note

All the books I write written have no sex, no curse words, and no offensive material. CLEAN READS. The Seventh Dimension Series is good for ages eleven and up.  The only limiting factor might be vocabulary. Each book progresses in complexity. I did this intentionally, assuming the reader is growing in age and understanding of the Christian gospel. 

Take note book 4, Seventh Dimension - The City is very suspenseful and could be considered too scary for some young teens. To learn more about this book click here. Rest assured, nothing I write conflicts with the Bible. There are no vampires, no gays, no lesbians, no curse words, no sex, no extreme violence, no blood, and no gore. Think that makes the series boring? Think again. I'm up to 20 awards in the series with some contests pending. Even my mother reads all my books, and she's 84!



Friday, April 21, 2017

《畢業風暴》.到最後我們都成長為自己討厭的人


 羅馬尼亞電影總是帶點暗沉與壓抑,但往往經歷了革命的電影人都有自己獨特的想法、帶著控訴與批判去看待社會問題。14年代表羅馬尼亞去奧斯卡的《Child’s Pose》獲得柏林影展的金熊獎,此片帶出「我爸是李剛」富二代犯事後企圖通過家人的關係逃之夭夭避過法律制裁的故事。而羅馬尼亞最為人熟悉的是執導《畢業風暴》(Bacalaureat)(香港譯作《畢作虧心事》)的蒙吉,十年前憑《四月三週二日》摘下金棕櫚,十六年在康城再摘下最佳導演。回看羅馬尼亞的歷史與此片帶著一點關係,1989年東歐劇變推翻羅共的統治,以為換取了民主化偏偏國家卻原地踏步。上一代的知識份子原以為過上安穩與有希望的生活,但他們沒有。說這部電影套用到去那個國家亦很合適,一個再怎樣文明有制度的地方總會帶點缺陷,更何況是一個不需要規章的地方。電影裡建構的世界是不公平的,一切皆是上層人士與權威人士掌控的世界,上一代的人感到徬徨、麻木而把自己的希望寄託到下一代人身上,認為外面的世界特別光明。回看香港,雖然地方不一樣但處境卻很相似的,經過時間的洗禮漸漸從希望變成絕望,今時今日香港也有新一重的移民潮,過去建構的社會公義一步步被侵蝕,特別是上層的管理者其身不正。猶幸我們尚有法制,但法律也不是完美的,它是有缺失的。

                        

  父母與子女的榮譽之戰
  在談論這部電影之前,香港現任的財政司司長陳茂波伉儷就捲入了子女學校的誹謗風波,《畢業風暴》談的是女兒伊萊扎的畢業考試之前遭遇了襲擊,父親羅蜜歐一心要把女兒送出國,關鍵是這一場考試,他十分擔心與關心女兒的成績深怕考得不好而托關係希望向有關當局關照女兒及促使她在考試作弊。在香港一個繁榮有制度的社會,作弊一樣是有的,在公開考試過去也為數不少個案,用盡各種方法去作案。至於國際的考試如SAT那種也有代考的。陳茂波與太太在家教會發出電郵指就讀該校的校董盧光漢的子女在考試中作弊兼獲得包庇,案件連審訊與上訴歷時三年多,在原審陳茂波一方被裁定惡意誹謗,後來上訴庭判陳氏得直,又到盧氏一方申請上訴至終審法院被拒,最後原告變被告。在事件一方到底盧氏的孩子有沒有作弊不是重點,重點是成年人的世界其實是很不知所謂的。彼此為了子女捲入這場本應不該發生的官司,這成為有錢人任性爭奪名譽的場所。有這樣的父母,日後孩子如何成長起來?有時不能怪孩子,而是父母的身教不好,小時候我們一直學習做人的道理,但當真正要實踐時就會發現兩難。社會是醜惡的,而所訂立的制度是毀在人的手上。不要讓它成為習慣。

  電影裡的父親也是愛女心切的,但就用錯了方法。一旦產生想法就會衍生更多的問題,從警察朋友的協助下托上托找了些有權勢的人,通過自身的關係為朋友的家人診治、再者從病人的關係套上主管教育的官員,產生一個小集團的群帶關係。他不知道自己開罪了什麼人,為何要報復在女兒身上,他只知道自己走錯了路,但為了女兒的利益已經沒有辦法。從電影的結尾就看到制度的崩壞,女兒有沒有作弊是後話,問題是她有比他人更優勝的手段促使她與其他考生的起跑線已經不一樣。父親深明自己有錯到最後有羞愧之心,亦希望有關方面不要刁難女兒,也許這是電影要帶出兩難的局面,也是他不能抽身的。在生存與生活之間他只有選擇可以滿足到他條件的,人性就是充滿弱點。理性與感性也只是一念之差,父親自己也知道自己成長為連自己也討厭的人。青年人也許有著祟高的理想,但生活裡充滿著妥協與偽善,人不為己,天誅地滅。理想被磨滅了。父親的名譽受損了,而女兒與他是不一樣的人,父親以為自己可以掌控女兒的命運,到最後這道防線還是守起了,女兒的命運始終在自己手上。電影彷彿是兩父女之間的「成人禮」,父親讓過去的自己失望,而女兒得以保留一份初心。雖然未知保持多久,但總叫對得起自己。無論是香港的事例還是電影也帶出中產階級的焦慮,表面多風光實際是封建與家長式管治,亦不多見有多文明。

 以小見大的拍攝手法
  電影的結構是很精妙的,正所謂修身治國平天下,家庭是絕對的核心,奈何這個家庭是渙散,缺乏團結力。父母的關係只是表面的寒暄,為了女兒而假裝一個愉快家庭,實際是等待女兒出國後不再粉飾太平。曾經他們都是知青,如今一個在世途凶險的社會搜刮利益與好處,另一個對眼前的狀況麻木了。兩夫婦沒有共同的理想,價值觀也走得愈來愈遠。從一個家庭延伸至一個社會的問題,父親搞婚外情不太希望對對象的孩子負責任,同時在女兒這件事為她鋪橋搭路,更為此收下利益為他人共事。在一些細節就看到導演的控訴,除了女兒有過多的考試時間外,父親婚外戀的對象有一個孩子,當羅密歐帶他到公園遇到不守法的小孩時,孩子還是天真無邪地想著道理,然而是事與願違的。父親的處事手法反映當中的混亂不堪,他為了找尋襲擊女兒的施襲者可以去恐嚇人、他受賄枉法,但不代表他是一個壞人。只不過社會不存在公平,你不這樣做也會有別的人去做,結果人人也去做。正義是一個哲學的問題,社會的腐敗助長罪惡,錯的東西可以扭曲為對的東西,警察可以濫權、醫生的道德底線也可以被衝破。所有罪的根源都是父親,他背叛了婚姻、背棄了自己的信仰。從個人的崩壞到社會各個階層向上延伸,本身作弊只是一個人之間的事情,但結果是一群人的事情,事件既簡單又複雜。

  神來之筆的是父親一直以為自己很了解女兒,盡辦法照顧家庭的需要,扮演父親的角色。但表面的東西還是被識破,特別是女兒一早知道他有婚外情,後來是連元配也認為父親不需要再偽裝下去,甚至想跟女兒遠走高飛。他不明白女兒的叛逆,這一家人的關係冷漠無比,誰與誰的對話都不是直接查問而是通過第三者才知道,家庭關係疏離。

誰是疑兇?
  至於襲擊這件事,本身也有幾個猜想的方向。而導演自編自導並沒有交代到真相,採用了留白的方式。第一個可能是得罪了附近放狗的人,在戲中父親的車子曾經撞過狗的物體、也有狗吠聲。第二是惡作劇的孩子,也有機會是情人的兒子,年紀輕輕就用石頭碰人。同樣也有可能是女兒的男友,父親拿著疑似的證據質問男友為何不去阻止對女兒的侵犯,也許女兒男友是可能目睹過程的。電影精妙在於有著任何一個可能性,父親試圖去找出但未果。


  更多的是這部電影除了以小見大外,鏡頭的運用窺視父親與女兒兩難的內心獨白與有巧妙的對話,電影是小格局但視野卻廣闊,平凡的家庭、平靜的畫面掀起波瀾,揭示這個家的虛偽、幸福粉碎,而社會、人格正所謂學好三年、學壞三日,人心難測。在現實生活中,即使有仔女養兒一百歲、長憂九十九,這樣的父親也不稱得上是怪獸家長,他也只是愛女兒而已。假如在個人生活上發生如此的事,有這樣的能力為子女爭取,的確會有很多人選擇放棄原則。這不只是羅馬尼亞,不只是中國,甚至在香港都一樣。這種帶有批判社會、教育的電影希望不只在東歐出現,而是在華人社會也應該藉以去改變既有存在已久的問題,將批判與懸疑放在一起有可觀性,點到即止,對於家長是寶貴的一課。

「奇異博士 Doctor Strange」觀後感想


奇異博士一片,內容裏隱藏了許多靈性密碼。網路上有一篇靈性心理學作家所寫的文章,我在下方刊出連結,因為這篇文章正是宇宙統合意識透過這位作者所傳導的訊息。


我在這裡想要提醒大家,每一個人都是宇宙統合意識的一個面向。每一個人都有值得分享的智慧,每一個人可以是靈性的展現,我們的天使,也可能是協助啟發我們靈性的黑天使。放下我們先入為主的觀念,認為「靈性訊息只有來自靈性老師」,讓我們開始真正的發掘,身邊所有的人,在我們生命裡的靈性任務。讓我們不再盲目崇拜靈性老師,因為盲目崇拜,只會導致最後自己的期望的失望。老師不能夠啟發我們,老師只能夠協助我們啟發內在的靈性領會。沒有自己內在的靈性,就沒有領會。


這篇文章「看懂奇異博士蘊藏的心靈密碼」很值得閱讀。(看不懂簡體中文的,可以將整篇文章copy下來放在Google翻譯裡面來閱讀。)無論你在生命成長的什麼階段,這部電影都能夠帶給你娛樂與啟發。如果你還沒有看過「奇異博士」,或許可以考慮揪幾個心靈成長的夥伴一同觀賞,並且在電影之後分享,這部電影如何帶給你啟發。從夥伴的分享,我們可以聆聽他們的智慧與啟發。


心靈成長,可以從生命裡的每一件事,每一個人來獲得啟發,智慧,激發 . . . . . 只要我們願意放下我們對他人的先入為主的信念,認為別人不擁有我們值得使用的智慧。


* * * * * * * * * * * * * *


看了奇異博士,我個人看到的幾個與我個人經驗相關的靈性訊息:在此分享。如果你還沒有看電影,先考慮一下要不要閱讀以下的文章。不要怪我洩漏影片故事內容喔!


1)奇異博士的小我將自豪建立在他的醫術成就,覺得自己是高人一等。所以對任何其他人就完全沒有尊重。這是一個在身心靈界常見的狀況。太多人認為自己因為在身心靈方面的成長,就自己認為一定比別人有智慧,或是在某個程度上是高人一等的。認為自己身邊的人,如果沒有以跟自己類似的身心靈方式來成長,就一定是「不夠好」。當我們的小我在感到自豪的時候,我們的杯子已經裝了滿滿的水,再也加不進去了。而實際上,我們只是在自己的自滿裏,限制了更多前進的潛能。許多人一輩子也沒有走上所謂的身心靈的道路,但是它們應用自己的方式在成長蛻變,也會傾聽別人的智慧,再拿來自己的身上使用。這種成長蛻變是身心靈成長的實質,只是沒有掛名或是歸功於「身心靈成長」。


2)當一個機緣結束的時候,宇宙是會打開另一扇門。如果我們一直執著在「不願意那個機緣結束」,對宇宙又哭又鬧,掙扎萬分,我們根本就看不到另一扇門的潛能。這也是我生命裡一再證實的事情。每一次,好像有什麼困難的地方,逼著我離開,或是覺得好像被強迫處於一個我並不想要的狀況。我會問宇宙,這是對我跟對一切萬有最有建設性的安排嗎?如果答案是肯定的,我就在前進的路上,慢慢地觀察,宇宙到底在祂的葫蘆裡賣什麼藥。


3)古一大師,當初遇見奇異博士的時候,並不知道他的天賦是什麼。在奇異博士不順從指令的狀況下,卻無意地啟發他的潛能。這一點好像十多年前,我學習Muscle Activation Technique (MAT,一種應用肌肉測試,來分析並糾正肌肉機械系統著力失衡而造成疼痛或運動傷害的療癒方式)老師規定大家一定不可以再學習其他種類的肌肉測試課程。我就不是那種老師說,我就乖乖聽話做的那種學生。我自己覺得當我在使用MAT的過程中遇見超乎MAT理論可以解決的客戶狀況的時候,我就會很想要找到解決問題的答案。所以我另外學習其他的肌肉測試課程。MAT老師對我不聽從他很生氣,公開取消我的證照。他的行為讓我覺得很無稽,因為證照是他給的,公開取消也就是說他自己承認他證照給錯了!考試就是考試,考過了就是考過了,還有可以隨隨便便取消證照的嗎?我當時認為,他的證照如果是這樣隨隨便便就可以取消的,那也不值得我去拿。原來我自己把力量給了老師,自己不知道。他取消了我的證照,我反而覺得自己拿回了力量,因為我學過的東西是系統化的人體機械學理念,真的搞懂了,就是我擁有這些知識。不需要他的證照來告訴我我的價值。

我另外學習的PKP (Professional Kinesiology Practice). 這個課程是一對夫妻在教的。女老師非常的嚴謹。她說一定要按照課程的進度學習。每次上課,老師會發那一次上課進度的講義。我在網路上看到澳洲有在賣這個課程的正式課本,因為這個課程在澳洲與紐西蘭是四年制的大學課程。我就自己訂購了課本。在美國的課程是8個梯次。我上過三個梯次之後,就開始拿課本裡的練習一直自己做。並且開始在個案的時候也拿來應用。我自己使用很多創意的方式來應用課本裡的內容。女老師對我不聽話,非常的不滿,對我非常的生氣。男老師卻偷偷的跟我說,如果你能夠很有創意的使用你所學過的東西來解決客戶的問題,我絕對不會阻止你,也不會認為是不好的。但是女老師堅持,如果我沒有上完所有的PKP課程,就不可以公開聲稱我在使用PKP。我也同意她的看法。因為我會很靈活的使用我所有的工具,所以實在也不能夠明確的說,我使用的那個方法是那個課程來的。

回頭看過,除了職業上的事件,連親密關係也是一樣,還有許許多多其他的事件。關了一扇門,總是有另一個更好的機會出現。連2012年,前男友與我的分手,他跟我兩個人都從宇宙訊息場問到,分手是最完美(for the highest good) 的安排。真的,他如果沒有離開,我哪有機會住在這麼美麗的愛爾蘭,到處有超級棒的能量,哪有機會認識現在的又可愛又體貼的老公?讓我有機會學習創造更美好的親密關係?


4)奇異博士自己的限制性信念,讓他在練習開任意門的效果很差。古一大師帶著奇異博士到聖母峰,把他丟在那裡。讓奇異博士在冷凍休克之前,逼自己打開任意門。古一大師這一招,就是刻意的把奇異博士放在一個困境,讓他的求生本能有發揮潛力的機會。有時候,我們對人好的時候,反而造成了他們不需要努力的狀況。我的前男友(跟我一起搬回台灣的美國人),當我們在一起的時候,一直說要有時間身心靈成長,不願意在台灣找工作。在台灣兩年半的時間是我在財務上支持他。整整四年之後,前幾天他竟然以電子郵件與我聯絡,告訴我他又要回台灣發展。 我心理默默地祝福他。希望他找到他自己的潛能與生命的意義。

父母親照顧孩子無微不至,孩子就學到了被照顧是理所當然,就不想要努力,也一直拿得理所當然。甚至一昧的要求身邊的所有人,都要順從他們的意。這樣的孩子,沒有機會經過困境,不知道什麼叫做努力,什麼是享受自己的收成。也不知道什麼是團隊精神。因為沒有機會在團隊裡擔當任何責任。有時候還自己認為是高人一等,藐視他人。現代社會太多公主王子症候群。我常常在想,真的有多少人,知道要如何為他人創造對他們有建設性的困境?讓他們在掙扎裡找到力量?

每一個困境,都是我們擴展的機會。無論是觀點看法創意與技巧。無論我們是完完全全自己處理我們的困境,還是靈活的應用從他人學習來的智慧與工具來脫離困境,我們真的需要執行過,才能夠說自己擁有了這些經驗與智慧。

身心靈理論很能說得頭頭是道的人,不一定有應用的智慧。把這些理論身體力行地過日子,才是最踏實最有收穫的。回過頭來看,我也拍拍自己的肩膀。給自己一個讚。

5) 話說奇異博士電影裡的許多奇蹟什麼的。雖然看起來好像是完全來自幻想。根據我自己研究跟玩了將近二十年的形而上學,其實奇異博士電影裡有關形而上的操作,進入異次元,開蟲洞,靈魂出體,這些與我個人的經歷真的相差不遠,只是以電影能夠視覺化的方式,讓這些狀態看起來「酷」多了。形而上學,是以我們的意念來掌控並且創造能量,進而改變3D的實相。我們可以學習做能量療癒(例如靈氣一類),導引能量,這就是基本的形而上操作。華人的歷史上有許許多多的奇蹟,像是黃帝發現經絡,發展針灸治療,華人的藥草知識也是一流的,藥草的發展過程,就是用意識去感應這藥草的能量如何改變身體的能量/經絡。這也不是奇蹟,只是我們忘記了還可以這麼做,缺乏練習而已。

Thursday, April 20, 2017

144000

144000=12²×10³
10³,十方三世(空间,地球表面八方加朝向地心地外或重力反重力上下二方共十方也就是一个球体,而从整个BC BrahmaCkra宇宙循环演化的观点来说,八方是merkaba四面体星八个顶点方向由八卦表示,上下二方上是增熵朝向宇宙Ω终点、下是减熵朝向宇宙α始点。十方球体空间在时间三态上运动为10³,亦即10³=时空连续体。)十天干撑起一个圆穹天幕,古人想象圆球形天空,而半球剥面上是个正方形地面(也就是立方体的正投影),形象上二维化描述成一个半圆球天空覆盖着一个四方形大地。对应的三维化描述就是圆球内接立方体。
12²,立方体12边,阴阳为2(高低维相对为阴阳)
因此144000=12²×10³→在时间中运动的球内接立方体。
立方体内嵌四面体星merkaba,静态神圣几何或八卦上他们是同一个东西的不同表述,动态上就是那个外接自旋球体。
那么也就明白144000在圣经中的深层意义了,而希伯来人卡巴拉神秘学里面将立方体点线面体中点共27点对应希伯来文27字母及27组灵数(这同时也就是京房八宫六十四卦顺时反转太极merkaba立方体之中的世魂27点,是六十四卦能量矩阵的能量出入端口,如同语言27个基本音素连结人的内在世界与外在世界,在梵文中27对应到五十音及Cakra与腺体和神经系统)。
阴阳十二地支,三世十天干,灵数合十四万肆仟。
淮南子.原道:「橫四維而含陰陽,紘宇宙而章三光。」
高誘.注:「四方上下曰宇,古往今來曰宙,以喻天地。」
可以说144000=宇宙天地(上帝选民,上帝与选民互为阴阳时空)
12²被定格的静态时空(因而得以观察其结构与阴阳)
10³动态的时空连续体(其基本单位在四维时空为普朗克尺度的mv microvita微生命空元素,阴阳互旋为光(物理上阴磁场阳电场,两者正交互相消长螺旋前进而为光波,阴阳依Fibonacci数互旋前进之螺旋形成各种不同层级的光一一对应脉轮轮八卦及音阶),光为阴阳互动之整体而不再显现其个别的结构与阴阳,可以说mv是真空能量的容器而光为mv运动时的载体。mv即是一个太极MKB、八卦、神圣几何基本构件)
阴阳、高低维度次元世界、观察者被观察者、上帝选民、真相表象
动静之间,就创造者而言这是宇宙意识的作用(宇宙力量),就被创造者而言这是个体心灵的表现。

*十方、mv、太极MKB、27点,请参阅《心灵DNA,灵性符号的几何世界》
144000请参阅圣经启示录7、14章
本文也发表在“那路塔斯的想象”

宇宙提供「秘密絕招」協助台灣婚姻平權


推廣婚姻平權的朋友們!當面對那些堅決反對的人,你曾經希望有什麼神蹟能夠來改變他們的態度?你的願景已經被宇宙意識回答。

這是一個以神聖幾何原理設計出來的圖。功能上可以讓看到圖的人,潛移默化地開啟對於人權的愛心。

這個圖案可以作成T恤衫,大型掛旗,印成貼紙發送,印刷在傳單版面加強傳單訊息的效果。尤其是在辯論或爭論的場合,如果我們穿著這個圖案的衣服,對方的反對氣勢會大幅度的降低。因為圖案啟發他內在對於人權的支持。

希望大家能夠多多轉貼,也可以放在任何印刷物裏,傳單,書籤,T恤衫,掛旗等等。建議做成圓形貼紙,貼在公共場所。點此下載AI圖檔

此圖版權歸宇宙統合意識所有。歡迎大量複製使用。

請注意:圖檔所有部分都跟能量有關,切勿修改。如有需要製作不同的圖,請與宇宙說啥團隊聯絡。

此圖由Sunny Wang(王絪),林育愷,Romy Zeng共同製作。


Thursday, April 13, 2017

摆渡人完整高清電影


【摆渡人完整高清電影】
完整影片点击链接后请点击 "立刻前往"
Part A: http://boo.tw/utGhd
Part B: http://boo.tw/L8NSE
Part C: http://boo.tw/f-Z8a
备用影片下载链接:http://boo.tw/EQLxa  点击链接后请点击 "立刻前往"
记得收藏我们的blog,电影无限看!

Part A


Part B


Part C



备用影片

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

薩爾達傳說 曙光公主破關!


前陣子Facebook上被薩爾達傳說-荒野之息洗版,
看的實在心有點癢,
所以就翻出還沒有破關的曙光公主來玩,
當初wii版買了就一直擺著沒玩,
這一擺沒想到就擺了10年,
擺到wiiU的復刻HD版都出了一陣子,wii版都還沒玩@@"

雖然wiiU的HD版已經出了,
但還是選擇玩wii版的,
主要是因為這10年的等待時間,等到了對岸熱血的粉絲製作的漢化版啦!(≧∀≦)


在沒有刻意強求的情況下,
玩到破關,
鬼魂只收集了15個,
黃金狼的奧義更是只學會了3個^^"

但特別值得紀念的是,
這次的曙光公主,從最初第一次按下Start到破關,
全程都是桐寶跟在我旁邊,每天一點一滴一起遊玩的!

之前破關的3DS版的三角神力2代,雖然也是跟桐寶一起玩到破關,
但是是接著已經玩了一陣子的紀錄,
即使如此,桐寶也已經愛上薩爾達傳說了,
這次我們父子倆一起跟林克與米多娜經歷了一段完整的冒險,
桐寶更是變成一個小粉絲,
常常會說自己是林克,
跟我玩起真人版薩爾達傳說,
拿著去參加跨年活動時領取的泡綿加油棒贈品,假裝是王者之劍,
看我示範過一次之後,打一打還會把劍插進背後的衣服做收劍的動作 ( ´∀`)

雖然奧義只學到了3個,
但是攻略起來並沒有特別感到吃力的地方,
桐寶也跟著學會了這3招奧義的用法。

『最後一擊!!!』
桐寶會從沙發上跳下來,拿劍往下插!

『繞~背~斬~』
桐寶會真的跟林克的動作一樣,
在地上連滾帶爬的繞到假裝成魔王的我的背後揮劍!

『兜割!』
桐寶會拿起小枕頭,撞我一下,再跳起來打!


這也是我第2款破關的薩爾達傳說,
以前真的不懂薩爾達傳說哪裡好玩,
超任的時候嘗試了好幾次的三角神力,就是玩不下去,
時之笛剛出的時候,也因為一開始的序章有點沉悶而玩不下去,
雖然一直知道是名作,
直到破了三角神力2代,才真的體會到它的樂趣。

wiiU的曙光公主重製版是使用最初GC的版本來復刻的,
而GC版跟wii版是左右相反的鏡像世界,
還記得當時是GC的末期,GC版的曙光公主比起wii版的身價高上不少,
算是數量稀少的夢幻逸品(畢竟大家都買wii版),
所以這次玩wii版,等之後想復習的時候再玩wiiU重製版,
又等於是全新的遊戲體驗了!

小時候,放暑假時常常窩在家一整天,
超任主機上插著同一塊遊戲,一個下午就這麼一直玩著同一塊遊戲,玩到天黑。

現在變成大人了,要能夠好好的專心玩遊戲,真的沒有那麼容易,
看到桐寶會單純的因為找到寶箱裡的大鑰匙而感到開心,
打開神殿的大門感到緊張,
害怕林克被魔王打倒而用手捂住臉,又從指縫偷看,
明明都是我在操作,但他那份全心沉浸在遊戲樂趣中的樣子,
彷彿他真的就是林克的化身!

林克吹響了草笛,艾波娜在螢幕上奔馳,
不想長大,卻不小心變成了大人的我,
想趕快長大,說自己已經是個大小孩的桐寶,
拿起手把,這一瞬間,我們都是林克。

Saturday, April 8, 2017

What's It Like to Have Breast Cancer



My first chemo treatment was easy. But the two days leading up to it were not.

When I went to Moffitt to get a second opinon, the doctor recommended I have a CT scan performed on my lungs for a pleural effusion that showed up on the PET scan. She had never seen a pleural effusion caused only by surgery. 

So, of course, that gave me something else to worry about. None of my doctors had mentioned getting a CT scan on the lungs. The X-ray had been clear before the surgery.  

The CT scan was set up for the next day, a welcomed surprise it was accomplished so quickly, but the CT nurse didn’t know how to access my chemo port correctly. It was the most painful procedure I’d had done yet - unbearable. She didn’t flush out the port afterwards, and apparently when the contrast was put into the vein during the CT scan, it didn’t go into my vein but extravasated into the surrounding tissue. Talk about painful, I could’t quit crying. 

I was afraid I’d never get through the sixteen weeks of chemotherapy. Later, the infusion nurses told me never to let anyone access the port but them. The CT nurse could have damaged the infusion site. This could have caused a blood clot, infection, more surgery, and skin grafting. She also didn’t flush it.
  
The CT nurse took me back to the waiting room where I cried some more. Another patient asked if he could pray for me. I thanked him. That was the lowest point of my cancer journey. If I couldn’t handle the port being accessed, how could I handle the chemo treatment?

On the way to my CT appointment, one of our cats had something wrong with him. He was walking around the house groaning. We had taken him to the vet the week before for urine issues and an obstruction. He didn’t have an obstruction then, but I was certain he had one now. 

With male cats, it’s an emergency. I was afraid he would die without immediate care, but I was on my way to my CT scan. They squeezed me in because of the concern raised by the doctor at Moffitt. The procedure also needed to be done before I started chemo.


I called my oldest daughter. She left work and came to get Anakin to take him to the vet. Otherwise, I could not have made my appointment. The vet said he would have died within an hour without being seen. He’s still at the vet being treated. Hopefully he can come home Monday. We have switched to a prescription cat food that should prevent this from happening again. 

The next day, following the CT scan and endoscopy procedure, I hadn’t received the results, so I was anxious for the infusion appointment. I had my highest blood pressure reading ever. 

When I met with the PA, she said the lungs showed no signs of cancer, and the endoscopy biopsies were related to heartburn. Talk about relief. That would have pushed me into a stage 4 breast cancer. It’s hard for me to believe I'm a stage 3 because I had a clear mammogram and sonogram. No spread to nodes was visible on MRI or exam. The spread to the lymph nodes showed up microscopically on the biopsy.

I am now in my fourth week of Taxol treatment. I have eight more weeks to go. This will be followed by eight weeks of Adriamycin (four treatments in all on this one, every other week.)

I’m thankful I’ve started chemo treatment, and I'm thankful that through four treatments, I haven't had any side effects. 


I attribute the good outcome of my surgery and the ease so far of the chemotherapy to God’s faithfulness and prayers of so many saints. 

I hope all the additional treatments go as easily as the first four infusions, but I’ve heard people say the side effects get worse. In the meantime, I like to think the drugs are hunting down any cancer cells in my body and killing them.

The doctors have said that it's highly unusual a 1.7 cm tumor to be in as many lymph nodes as shown in the pathology report — 11 out of 15. That's just a little larger than half an inch. 

Someday I hope to share this story — my cancer is like sin. Something that small in my body is deadly. Without Jesus Christ, a tiny bit of sin will keep us out of heaven. Something to think about, isn’t it?


Thanks again for your prayers. I really appreciate it. And if you love animals, pray that our little kitty that was found abandoned a few years ago will be restored to health. His name is Anakin.

Addendum:  Little Anakin is doing very well now:)