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#Funny News

WATCH: Blaire White and Ben Shapiro Discuss Transgender Pronouns

Posted: 10 Jan 2018 06:33 PM PST

Remember when YouTube got its panties in a twist over Ben Shapiro showing up on the Rubin Report? See YouTube Demonetized Dave Rubin Interview with Ben Shapiro. In the offending video, Ben Shapiro and Dave Rubin talked all things transgenderism. Including Blaire White and preferred pronouns. Fun stuff.

Ben and Blaire herself sat down to talk the ins and outs of transgender issues. Feast your eyes on the discussion below:

As per Blaire’s description:

After Twitter went into an uproar after Ben’s appearance on the Rubin Report where they discussed pronouns and myself, I decided to reach out and have a civil conversation with him.

A civil debate about pronouns?

This is a stark difference compared to one of Ben’s earlier interactions with someone of trans nature (see Transgender Violently Threatens Ben Shapiro For Calling Him… ‘Sir’?!). Of course, Blaire and Ben aren’t exactly on opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to all the things. Blaire isn’t a raging self-professed champion of all things liberal LGBT. Quite the opposite in fact (see Video: Blaire White Interviews Idiot Feminists in Lingerie at 2017 SlutWalk and WATCH: ‘Tolerant’ Hollywood Liberals Assault Conservative Blaire White).

Still, this is the kind of eye-opening, rational discourse the left hates. It leaves no room for screeching or violence. Booooring.

Speaking of pronouns…


New Bill Will Make California Colleges Provide Abortion. Here’s How…

Posted: 10 Jan 2018 04:07 PM PST

Abortion colleges California

California is America’s favorite leftist den of Hades. Even as the nation tries to improve, the Golden State keeps digging itself further into a pit of suck (see DACA Upheld by Judge Alsup in California and California Law Forces Ammunition Stores to Close). On the agenda today? Transforming college campuses into regular abortion providers. For the sake of the womenfolks, of course. Something something women’s rights. How progressive of them.

A new version of the [SB 320] bill is being considered in the Senate Health Committee, still mandates CSU and UC university health centers provide chemical abortions, but it also establishes a private/public fund to pay for the additional costs associated with dispensing abortion drugs.

SB 320, sponsored by State Senator Connie Leyva (D-Chino), would create a Medication Abortion Implementation Advisory Council, with members appointed by the State Treasurer, to oversee a special fund with money from private and public sources. California universities, both public and private, could apply for grants to help pay for ultrasound machines, and the additional medical and administrative staff necessary to administer abortions drugs at university health centers around the state.

Does it sound like we’re being overly dramatic? More theatrical than Meryl Streep during a hot flash mid-menopause? Well, here’s the text from the (now revised) bill itself.

Clearly they punched up the language and made a few grammatical changes. Still, the essence of the bill remains the same: bring abortions to campus in the form of a cute little pill. Baby murder has never been so convenient.

California is going HAM on abortion. Word on the street is they’ll also settle for colleges handing out free coat hangars. Or an unpredictable flight of stairs.

Remember when leftists said abortion would be safe and "rare?" That was a load of bull plop. Put the abortion pill dispensers right next to the vending machines. For progress!


Ted Cruz Makes Bernie Challenge Official With This Epic Tax Bill

Posted: 10 Jan 2018 02:23 PM PST

Ted Bernie tax bill

It’s that time again: Ted Cruz idea time. Now the senator’s noggin has come up with a bill to make American lives a little less taxy for good. Oh, and he also wants the Berninator in on it. Surprise!

Sen. Ted Cruz (R., Texas) has introduced a bill that would make the individual tax cuts included in the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act permanent.

While the corporate tax rate was cut permanently to 21 percent, most of the individual tax cuts are scheduled to expire at the end of 2025.

Cruz’s bill would amend the tax code to make the individual tax cuts permanent so they would not expire.

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I., Vt.) said in an interview that the tax cuts should have been made permanent. Cruz responded that Sanders should cosponsor his bill.

“I agree, Bernie Sanders—let’s make the middle-class tax cuts permanent,” Cruz tweeted. “Join me, we’ll cosponsor legislation (I’ve already got it drafted) that does exactly that, and we’ll get it passed in January!”

Sounds about right. Bernie’s always crying about the middle class (see Bernie Sanders Fakes Compassion for Middle Class Over Tax Reform, Ted Cruz Calls Him On It). Time for him to put his money where his sputtering mouth hole is. Also time to put a girdle where his 80-year-old man belly is. We’ll wait.

Somehow I get the feeling we won’t be hearing much from Sanders on this one. Pretending to champion for the middle class is a favorite pastime of leftists. They’ll toss around buzzwords, but in reality? “Middle class” is Democrat for “taxpaying schmuck.” The average taxpayer is the perfect scapegoat onto which progressives load all their tax greediness. Read Dear Middle-Class: Here’s How Democrats Screw You the Worst.

Bernie might wheeze out a few niceties when it serves him. But at the end of the day, he’s just another typical government oinklet. He has no interest in saving you money. After all, his fourth house ain’t gonna buy itself.

Feel free to prove us wrong at any time, Bern!


Costco Puts INSANE Seattle Soda Tax on Blast

Posted: 10 Jan 2018 01:41 PM PST

Costco soda tax seattle

A lot of people claim eating healthy is too expensive. Well, rest easy, because eating crap just got a whole lot more expensive. Seattle has put its paws all over soda drinkers’ purses (or man satchels). In the mood for a Coke? It’s going to cost you big time, you sugary deviant.

Customers are feeling the pinch of Seattle's new Sweetened Beverage Tax. At Costco, a $15.99 case of Gatorade now costs an additional $10.34 due to the tax.

The new tax went into affect on January 1, 2018 and tacks on 1.75 cents per ounce. It affects soda, sports drinks, kombucha, and other sugary beverages that don't list milk as their first ingredient.

Overkill much? Costco seems to think so.

A sign alerts Costco customers to the price change and also lets them know that they can go to the company's Tukwila or Shoreline stores to buy the product without the added charge.

None shall escape the sin tax. The pop will oppress Seattle with its vile sweetness no longer! The children will finally be safe!

Good on Costco for looking out for their pre-diabetic customers. If people want to slam the juice, they should be free to do so without taxes looming overhead.

It’s none of the government’s scaly-handed business if people guzzle sugar water for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Plus this won’t even produce the result Seattle was hoping for (see Philadelphia Mayor Passes Soda Tax. Complains When Prices Go Up…). Most people would rather be hooked onto a Mountain Dew IV than let the government take more of their money.

In fact, most soda addicts will just find a new tax-free place outside the city to from which to score their drink. Causing people to drive further for their grocery trips. Using up more oil and pooting out more smog into the environment. Enjoy, Seattleites. You played yourselves.

Seattle saw a “problem” with soda. Their solution? MOAR TAXES! Progressives seem to think taxes are the answer to every issue. Not so, bitches.


Immigration Agents Raid Dozens of 7-Eleven Stores

Posted: 10 Jan 2018 12:35 PM PST


Imagine stopping by 7-Eleven as you do every morning for a cup of coffee, breakfast burrito, and a bear claw. Before you can pay, the cashier jumps the counter and runs out the back. Followed by federal agents storming the door. Worse, you don’t get your coffee.


This scenario played out early Wednesday morning. Immigration raided dozens of the convenience stores. Possibly depriving dozens of people of their much needed coffee fix. Please change your social media avatars in solidarity.

This new ICE Director (see BOOM: Acting ICE Director Wants Illegals Gone. Now! and ICE Director: Illegal Immigrants 'Should Not be Comfortable' Here…) don’t take no mess.

U.S. immigration agents descended on dozens of 7-Eleven stores before dawn Wednesday to open employment audits and interview workers in what officials described as the largest operation against an employer under Donald Trump’s presidency.

Just giving a couple of kudos for the dramatic diction here. “Descended on” and “before dawn” is appreciated. Setting the stage: you win.

The agency said officials targeted about 100 stores nationwide and served audit notices in 17 states including California, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania and Texas, as well as Washington, D.C.

The sweep broadened an investigation that began with a 4-year-old case against a franchisee on New York’s Long Island, and the audits could lead to criminal charges or fines over the stores’ hiring practices.

With all the jibber jabber today about immigration, hearing 7-Eleven get busted isn’t eliciting too many tears… from us. The left is melting down like the Wicked Witch of the West, forgetting to put Miata’s top up while in the car wash.

News of these raids come after President Trump got tripped up over DACA. During his own press stunt too! DACA was one step backward. 7-Eleven raids are several sprints for the exit. Muy Rapido!

But overall for the past year, cracking down on illegal immigration is a yuge promise kept. If 7-Eleven is just the first of many business ICE starts busting, we can expect the stores to start self-deporting illegal staff.


VIDEO: Harvey Weinstein Ventures Into Public. Gets Bitchslapped.

Posted: 10 Jan 2018 11:15 AM PST

It’s been a while since we’ve heard news of Harvey the sweaty bog toad. And by “a while” I mean it’s been a whole week. One tends to lay low after one’s penile deviancy sparks national outrage. Can’t say I blame him for slithering under the swamp which birthed him. Especially since, when he does venture out into public, he’s met with five fingers and a backhand.

It’s not every day we see Harv slapped around like a little girl refusing to eat her greens. Observe.

Harvey Weinstein was on the receiving end of 2 backhanded slaps to the face … that’s what the newly-obtained video shows.

[He] was dining Tuesday night at Elements restaurant in Scottsdale when a guy named Steve approached him and asked for a photo. Steve tells TMZ Weinstein was belligerent and said no, while a restaurant manager says Weinstein was “sweet” and politely declined.

Big mistake buckeroo. I believe you ordered the back of this hand for dessert?

Steve and Weinstein shook hands and sat down, but this video shows what happened when they were both leaving the restaurant around 9 PM. Although the restaurant manager says Steve’s hands never landed on Weinstein’s face, you clearly see and hear Steve make contact twice, as he calls Weinstein “a piece of s***.”

Steve told us he’d had “quite a bit to drink,” and instructed his friend to record video as he walked up to Weinstein. As we reported, Weinstein declined to call police and left the restaurant.

Okay, Steve kind of sounds like a dingleberry himself. But it’s still a nice change of pace to see a story where Weinstein is the unwilling recipient of touchies.

So a dude who’s slapped the butts of plenty of ladies got a little face spanking. Doubt anyone is shedding any tears here. Also, who doesn’t love some good slappage? I’m certainly not above it.

Yes yes, due process and trials are still important and all that. But sometimes life gives you a nice face patty-cake to enjoy. You’re not a bad person for giggling. Tis good for the soul.

One last gif for the road:

Slap boxing. It’s what’s for dinner.


New York City Files Lawsuit Against 5 Oil Companies for ‘Causing’ Global Warming

Posted: 10 Jan 2018 10:22 AM PST

NYC sues oil companies

When your tax policies cause the wealthiest citizens to flee your city as if aliens are shooting lasers through the tops of buildings, you have to get creative. So New York is now suing five oil companies for causing global warming. I mean “climate change.” The East Coast is in the throws of a violent winter, after all. Can’t be saying “global warming” with temperatures colder than Hillary’s glare.

New York City is suing five major oil companies, claiming they have contributed to global warming.

Mayor Bill de Blasio says the city will be seeking billions in the lawsuit to recoup money spent by the city for resiliency efforts related to climate change.

Hopefully you noted this is a desperate cash grab. Incidentally, how many cars traverse the cities of New York’s five boroughs? And how many of those cars are fueled by nothing but the farts of baby angels? Asking for a friend.

The defendants in the city's federal lawsuit are BP, Chevron, ConocoPhillips, Exxon Mobil and Royal Dutch Shell.

The lawsuit follows the city's announcement that it plans to divest its pension funds from fossil fuel companies.

This is the same city whose fearless leader, Mayor Bill De Blasio, thinks your right to keep and bear arms is as dated as a strappy corset. The same De Blasio who races to Twitter to out-pander himself for votes. Regardless of what an ass he makes of himself. The same De Blasio who honored a terrorist. Goes to character, your honor.

Climate change science is a toughy. Speaking or writing about it has a way of calling all the village crazies to your present location, like ringing the dinner bell at a feminist film convention. If one dare suggests climate change isn’t entirely caused by man, or “maybe the planet knows more about itself than we do,” one gets accused of embracing flat-earth dogma. Why, commenting on climate change is almost more controversial than commenting on the human diet. Almost.

That said, though climate science is dicey, especially among Twitter trolls with more time than reason, is it fair to say it’s irresponsible to sue companies which fuel the planet’s means of transportation? Choose your answer wisely. Then consider how you receive or acquire all your home goods, groceries, entertainment, etc. Probably not by horse-drawn carriage.


Super Bowl Executive Producer Promises: We’ll Show Kneeling Players

Posted: 10 Jan 2018 09:31 AM PST

Super Bowl

We don’t know who is in the Super Bowl yet. Most likely, it’ll be the New England Patriots vs whoever the NFC decides to have the Patriots face stomp. Sorry, but Bill Belichick is simply better than you. Go ahead, send your hate tweets. I apologize for nothing.

But while we don’t know the teams, we have an idea what we’ll be talking about for the next few weeks. Kneeling. I can just see you peeing with excitement. Football fans haven’t been alienated enough for the left, so it’s time to shove their faces in it like a disobedient puppy (see Surprise! Football Fans Demand Refunds for 'NFL Sunday Ticket'. And Get Them… and DUH! Poll Shows NFL Viewership Declined Because of Anthem Protests).

The executive producer promises, if players kneel, we get to see it. Get your DVR prepped.

Regarding football players kneeling during the national anthem before games, Gaudelli–the executive producer of "Sunday Night Football," "Thursday Night Football," and Super Bowl LII–said that any such protests during the Super Bowl will be covered live.

"The Super Bowl is a live event, just like 'Sunday Night Football.' When you're covering alive event, you're covering whats happening. So if there are players that choose to kneel, they will be shown live. I would say, probably since Thanksgiving, a lot of that has kind of disappated and died down. It's certainly possible it could happen again."

Well yeah, now it could! Just wait until the president has his “executive time” and sees Fox & Friends talk about this. Then, let’s do nothing for the next month but ask the players about it.


How hard is it to say “Nah, let’s not divide the country like we’ve divided our ratings.” Or simply pivot and say, “Let’s just talk about football, as people watching football likely want to talk about football.” But NBC has the Super Bowl this year. They’re gearing up to shove an agenda down your gullet like it’s the cure to obesity.

The thing lost in all this KneelingGatePaloozaGhazi? The left doesn’t seem to notice (or care) the kneeling deal doesn’t just cut on partisan lines. This could be anecdotal, but I know a plethora of apolitical people – people who don’t jump on every outrage, not really known for even caring about politics – whom are offended when players kneel during the National Anthem.

The left thinks it’s just Trump supporters who are pissed. It’s actually the majority of middle America. Regardless of their political (or lack thereof) leanings.

The majority of middle America just wants to drink beer and watch the commercials. So they can contribute their “hot takes” (which are actually as mild as off brand hot sauce) on Twitter the following day.


DACA Upheld by Judge Alsup in California

Posted: 10 Jan 2018 08:37 AM PST

The Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, which Trump’s team said Obama shoved through the legal system in non-consensual ways which would make Kevin Spacey blush, has been upheld by a federal judge residing in the People’s Republic of California. Temper your shock.

From The New York Times:

WASHINGTON — In the middle of an intense political fight about the program that shields from deportation young immigrants who were brought illegally to the United States as children, a federal judge in California issued a nationwide injunction late Tuesday ordering the Trump administration to start the program back up again.

The keyword here is “California” judge. Who was appointed to the bench by none other than alleged rapist, Bill Clinton. So there’s that. If I were a betting woman, I’d say the judge plastered his home office with #ImWithHer signage. I guess it’s better than portraits of the Puffy Pantaloon Queen.

Saying the decision to kill it was improper, Judge William Alsup of Federal District Court in San Francisco wrote that the administration must "maintain the DACA program on a nationwide basis" as the legal challenge to the president's decision goes forward.

In other words: keep the kids here until your heart finds the good lord. Where “the good lord” means public opinion swaying you to the “correct side.” Probably spelled out in legal footnote somewhere.

The Trump administration first said DACA had to go because it was implemented as well as Lena Dunham’s fashion sense. That Obama’s band of merry men hadn’t gone through the proper legal channels in DACA’s creation.

In his ruling, Judge Alsup questioned the administration's contention that the DACA program had not been put into place legally. He asserted that the secretary of the Department of Homeland Security has long had the authority to grant the kind of temporary protections that formed the basis of the program.

It almost sounds like Alsup’s legal beagle practices are up to snuff. Until he scurried over to Trump’s Twitter timeline in search of evidence. You know, as all prestigious judges do.

Judge Alsup also cited several of Mr. Trump's Twitter posts that expressed support for the program. He noted that in September, the president wrote: "Does anybody really want to throw out good, educated and accomplished young people who have jobs, some serving in the military? Really!" Such tweets, the judge said, bolstered the idea that keeping the program going was in the public's interest.

Ah, so suddenly DACA is about the “public interest” and not whether or not its legal foundation is built on a house of sand-filled underpants.

Obviously, Donald Trump couldn’t help himself. His stubby, normal sized fingers (wink), flittered across his mobile keyboard to smack out this little beauty:

Which means we’ll have to wait and see what the administration does next against the courts, and whether or not DACA gets scrubbed with a cloth or something.

The big problem here is three-fold:

  • We have an immigration enforcement system flecked with more holes that Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s IT security.
  • Federal judges who tilt further left than a drunk Amy Schumer make questionable calls based on Twitter streams and muh feelings.
  • Once a law is created and implemented, even if the law was cooked up in a lab rivaling that of Frankenstein, it’s hard to get rid of it. Good luck trying to neutralize a law electrified with life by a big-eared president with a verbal crutch reliance.

Now we get to wait it out. Yippee.


Birth Tourism? Russians Vacation in America to Give Birth…and Get Green Cards

Posted: 10 Jan 2018 07:09 AM PST

Yesterday President Trump met with congressional leaders to discuss immigration. Most of us are wondering, did he cave on immigration? Not cave on immigration? Donde esta el WALL? (see Immigration Special Agent Says DACA Will Cost Billions and Admit Millions… and Artist Puts Giant Mexican Baby Portrait at Border to Promote Illegal Immigration).

No mention of what’s being called “birth tourism.” Take a look.

A growing number of Russians are coming to the U.S. to give birth. These kids will have the right to live and work here, receive social services and, when they turn 21, will have the right to sponsor their parents for an American Green Card.

Now, the cynical blogger in me thinks there’s only one reason NBC cares. They’ve been pushing Trump as a Russian plant for so long, they’ll report anything remotely related to The Mother Land. Start a rumor Eric Trump is planning Drago’s son in the next Rocky movie, the media will run with it.

Condo buildings that bear the Trump name are the most popular for the out-of-town obstetric patients, although the units are subleased from the individual owners and it’s not clear if building management is aware.

There is no indication that Trump or the Trump Organization is profiting directly from birth tourism; the company and the White House did not respond to requests for comment.

But this seems problematic to me. Because it’s all technically legal. Not only is it all legal, they’re flaunting it with all the pride of a spritely crossdresser at a gay pride parade. There appears to be a booming industry helping Russians (and the Chinese too, according to the article) exploit loopholes in our immigration policies.

We may need to revisit our take on “natural born citizenship” to close this loophole, preventing mamas flocking to America to pop out a few Russian dumplings. Maybe, just maybe, natural born citizens should be born to Americans. Not foreigners on “vacation.” Being an American is great, to be sure. But it shouldn’t be as easy as “Well, papa and I wanted our little babuska to be all American boy. So we fly to Florida. Now you as American as Mikey Mouse.”

Needs to stop. Agree?