- Woman Shares Heartbreaking Story To Warn Pet Parents Of Common Suffocation Danger
- Kids Use Screens So Much They Can’t Hold A Damn Pencil
- 10 Things Even Your Friends Won’t Tell You About Childbirth
- Why I Don’t Care If My Kids Miss School
- I’m A Great Mom — I Just Yell A Little
- What Happened When I Gave Myself An Ice Bath Facial
- Looking For Some Real Sports Heroes For Your Kids? Try These.
- Why Moms Do More Than Dads
Posted: 27 Feb 2018 07:52 AM PST
She hopes to help other pet owners to know the risks of suffocation
A grieving dog owner is speaking out about the tragic loss of her pet in hopes of keeping other pups from suffering the same fate.
Christina Young posted yesterday about her beloved dog Petey’s untimely passing. Her story is incredibly sad, but Young says she feels an obligation to warn pet owners of a household safety hazard some may not think about — until it’s too late.
“One week ago I kissed my baby boy goodbye on my way out for work. But I had no idea it would be for the last time. Although I still can't even wrap my head around what happened,” she writes.
Young says that her partner Christian came home from work the other day to a gut-wrenching sight. “Last Monday, Christian beat me home from work by about 10 min & was surprised when Petey didn't greet him at the door like usual. As he walked in further he saw our sweet boy laying lifeless with a stupid chip bag over his head.”
The chip bag was on the counter, and unfortunately, Petey was able to reach it. “…we will forever blame ourselves for leaving out. He ate every chip out but of course went back for crumbs… with there being nothing left inside every time he would go for more he would inhale making the bag tighter & tighter around his head.. ultimately resulting in suffocation.”
Young says Petey was smart and at first, she couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t use his paws to pull the bag off his head. Then, she did a little research and found out how sadly common it is for a pet to die this way — and how quickly it happens.
“3-5 pet suffocation's get reported every week and 42% of those occur while the owner is in the next room. It only takes about 3 minutes for their oxygen to drop to fatal levels,” she writes. Indeed, this is a more prevalent issue than any pet owner might realize. According to PreventVet, few owners understand the danger and that it can happen to pets of every size and with food bags of many varieties.
Young is sharing Petey’s story because she was never aware this was a hazard and considers herself a “very overprotective dog mama.”
“In fact 90% of the incidents reported the owner had never heard of this until it happened to them (us included). Chip bags, cereal bags, bread bags, popcorn bags, dog/cat treat bags seem to be the most common,” she cautions.
As the owners of two highly curious (and food-obsessed) pups, this was news to me too. My heart breaks for Young and sweet Petey, but now, I will be more vigilant with what my family leaves on the countertops.
“So I just ask that in honor of my boy Petey that you be extra careful, warn other dog owners & give your fur babies some extra love today and everyday after this. I pray none of you ever have to experience your heart breaking this way.”
Posted: 27 Feb 2018 06:16 AM PST
Kids struggling with holding pencils because of tech
We love our devices, but according to pediatric doctors, too much tech is preventing kids from holding a pencil correctly. It might seem like a small issue, but the problem can set children back in school and take a long time to correct.
Since tablets and touchscreen phones don’t require a lot of fine motor skills, kids aren’t developing the muscles enough, which results in difficulties holding a pen or pencil. “Children are not coming into school with the hand strength and dexterity they had 10 years ago,” Sally Payne told The Guardian. Payne is the head pediatric occupational therapist at Heart of England hospitals. “Children coming into school are being given a pencil but are increasingly not be able to hold it because they don't have the fundamental movement skills.”
Even though we use our hands to grip an iPad or cell phone, we don’t use the fine muscles in our fingers, which are crucial to gripping a writing instrument. “Children need lots of opportunities to develop those skills,” Payne explained. “It's easier to give a child an iPad than encouraging them to do muscle-building play such as building blocks, cutting and sticking, or pulling toys and ropes. Because of this, they're not developing the underlying foundation skills they need.”
And while it seems like a quick fix, it isn’t. For example, six-year-old Patrick has been going to an occupational therapist every week for six months to build up the strength in his fingers to hold a pencil correctly. “In retrospect, I see that I gave Patrick technology to play with,” his mom Laura shared. “When he got to school, they contacted me with their concerns: he was gripping his pencil like cavemen held sticks. He just couldn't hold it in any other way and so couldn't learn to write because he couldn't move the pencil with any accuracy.”
In addition to having your kids play with a variety of toys, there are other things you can do to help ensure they’ll be able to hold a pencil. First, you’ll want to teach them what experts agree is the correct way to hold a writing instrument: the tripod grip, where you hold the pencil with your index and thumb and rest it on your middle fingers.
After you teach them the technique, make sure your kids hold their crayons, markers, and pencils in this way. And when they’re playing on a tablet use an electronic pencil or stylus so they get used to holding a writing implement. Of course, limiting their tech time won’t hurt either.
Posted: 26 Feb 2018 06:00 PM PST
Childbirth is often romanticized as a beautiful process with two different scenarios. One, the mother slips away and comes back a day later glowing with pride as she presents her new baby. The second scenario dramatizes a lady screaming and sweating in pain as she's surrounded by several assistants. Well, I can tell you from experience labor and delivery is rarely similar to either of these portrayals.
Here are all the details your friends won't tell you about labor and delivery.
1. Hospital Underwear Is The Best Thing Ever
Most hospitals provide super stretchy, disposable undies to wear while you are at the hospital. They are seriously the most comfortable thing ever!
2. You Have To Keep Pushing After The Baby Is Out–No, It's Not Twins
Thanks to TV, most women believe the job is done when the baby comes out. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Once you deliver that sweet baby, the nurse is going to tell you to keep pushing. Nope, you're not having twins, you've still got to deliver the placenta. That's right, you've got to push out the placenta. Usually it comes out quick and easy, but nonetheless, expect to keep pushing after the baby is out.
3. You May Have An Unexpected Audience
Everyone expects a nurse to be in the room with the doctor and maybe a few relatives, but you may have a few more eyes on your lady parts than you expected. At teaching hospitals, your OB may have multiple residents with her whom are likely responsible for medical students. All of whom will get a front row view of your delivery. On the bright side, you may be able to add "contributed to medical education" to your resume after the delivery.
4. Bowel Movements Are All Part Of The Process (Gross!)
It's gross, it's dirty, it's embarrassing, but it's all part of labor. You use the same pelvic and abdominal muscles to push out the baby as you use to have bowel movements. Expect to have one or more bowel movements while you're pushing.
If you have a good nurse, she will whisk away the pad beneath you and replace it between pushes when it is soiled. That being said, if you do a water delivery, you will soaking in the mess (gross!).
5. Birth Plans Ensure Your Labor Won't Go As Planned
Your body and your baby may have a plan completely different than the birth plan you create. Unfortunately, a lot of births don't go as planned and this often causes unnecessary stress. The best birth plan is a flexible plan that considers a wide variety of scenarios.
6. The First Time You Stand Up, It will Look Like A Crime Scene
The motion of moving from a seated to standing position causes tons of blood to gush from the uterus. It seriously looks like a crime scene. I have never been squeamish about blood, but the sight was seriously too much for me to handle when I first stood up after giving birth.
7. Requested C-Section, Take A Number Please
On TV, a delivering woman screams she wants a C-section and is promptly wheeled to the O.R. and handed her baby fifteen minutes later. In real life, you may be able to request a C-section, but it will be scheduled after the emergency C-sections. If there is a lot of emergency C-sections that day you may be waiting for hours for a non-emergent C-section.
8. Frankenstein Has Appeared
Sutures, swelling, asymmetry, a deflated belly, red spots, and oddly shaped stretch marks may all be part of your recovery fun. Yep, you might look like Frankenstein for a few days. Let's just call it the beauty of child birth that no one talks about.
9. Musical Rooms Is A Not-So-Fun Labor And Delivery Game
Checking into the labor and delivery unit is not like checking into a hotel. Just as you get unpacked and cozy in your initial room you may be moved to a different room for labor. Then possibly the O.R. for a C-section. Then back to the labor room, and finally moved to a recovery room where you will likely spend the rest of your hospital stay. Think of it as a hospital tour.
10. Dude, Where's The Doctor?
The doctor you spent the last nine months bonding with may not make an appearance until the last few pushes. No, she's not sitting in the lounge drinking coffee (I hope). She's busy delivering all the other babies that are coming out before yours. It's pretty much impossible for a doctor to give you one-on-one care for the twenty-plus hours that comes with labor. Instead you're going to get lots of quality time with a random nurse that's assigned to you. Expect to see the doctor a few times throughout the labor and then throughout the actual delivery.
Posted: 26 Feb 2018 06:00 PM PST
Yep, I said it. Out loud for the world to hear—and I'm sure half of it to gasp. But before you judge, hear me out…
This year my kids transitioned to an upper elementary school. I went to the parent orientation feeling a bit like a kid myself—a little resistant to all the changes coming, yet excited about new beginnings. The principal got up to speak and clicked open his Power Point. There were only three bullets on the list. Three major topics that he felt were the absolute most important things to address with parents that are new to his school. Safety, teachers and staff…and missed school days.
The instant the bullet point appeared I could feel my friends around the room turn to look at me and chuckle as I plastered on my "don't mess with momma" face.
Now I understand laws are laws, and children must attend a specified number of days of school in the year or the "po-po" will show up on my doorstep. And I'm not condoning letting junior stay home on the couch to watch TV to avoid a spelling test. But last time I checked, I gave birth to these children. I carried them for 9 long months, taught them to walk, talk, eat and poop. I feed them daily (sometimes even three balanced meals), I buy them clothing, sign them up for activities, and log the miles of a racecar driver taking them to and from practices.
I clean up their vomit, I endure temper tantrums, I enforce unpopular punishments, make them eat their veggies, and even attempt to help with common core math. Guess what else I do? I TAKE THEM OUT OF SCHOOL WHENEVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE. I know there are parents who are shaking their heads, and teachers who probably talk about me behind my back, but they aren't my priority—my kids are. And I never take them out of school unless I believe the benefits outweigh the costs.
Year after year I sit down with teachers and explain up front how committed I am to ensuring my kids make education a priority. That they work hard, are kind and respectful, and that they always try their best. School is extremely important, make no bones about it. But in our house, family comes first. Period—end of sentence.
That means when we have an opportunity to take a trip that will create memories that last well beyond 3rd grade math, we are going to take it. Or if there is a special occasion happening with our extended family—all of whom live over 1,000 miles away—we are going to go. Even if it doesn't fit within the confines of Presidents’ Day or Spring Break.
Don't get me wrong, I make every effort to be as respectful as possible and do not expect the teachers to "pay the price" for my child's absence. I always give plenty of advance notice. I always request that they send home any work that they would like completed on the trip. And I always ensure them that whatever work is given when we return will be completed in a reasonable amount of time. I recognize that as my kids get older this will become more of a challenge, but rest assured I will always make the best choice for my children—and I don't need school calendars to tell me what that is.
Besides being able to spend time together as a family and strengthen the bond we share, I firmly believe that there is no better way to learn than through hands-on experience. What's more impactful—reading about Roman history or walking through the Colosseum? Watching a YouTube video about how glaciers formed or learning about it by hiking an actual glacier? Completing math worksheets or figuring out how many dollars are in a euro? In addition to the history and information that can be absorbed, traveling also opens your eyes to new places and cultures. It teaches you to become more inclusive, understanding and empathetic. And it forces you to roll with the punches—all life-long skills.
Plus, the learning isn't limited to the trip itself. Whether it's doing online research about a place, planning a day of the trip itself or journaling throughout the adventure, there are so many opportunities for children to expand their mind. I've even made my kiddos put together Power Point presentations of what they learned to show to their class (I know, I'm mean).
My job as a mom is to keep my kids safe, make them feel loved, and to teach them. If they go to school for 160 days instead of 180, but are able to spend a day with their 97-year-old great-grandmother learning about the icebox she had growing up, or form life-long bonds with cousins they rarely see, or eat gelato on the streets of Italy, I'll call it a parenting win. And that is why I feel zero guilt when I decide that the school calendar that works for the state isn't the same calendar that works for my kids.
This article was originally published on Her View From Home.
Posted: 26 Feb 2018 06:00 PM PST
One night, we were putting the kids to bed, and had all the windows open. I was giving my kids a semi-loud lecture on listening when I heard the doorbell ring. My first thought was, "Oh crap. What did they just hear?" The cute older couple had smiles on their faces as I blurted out without thinking, "Did you hear me lecturing my kids?" They smiled like older couples who are done raising their kids do, and said, "No. Did they need lecturing?" I laughed it off while my husband was probably dying to hide somewhere. The kids in their PJs stood there with hair still wet from baths not knowing what to think.
I'm a great mom. I Promise. I just yell a little.
You see, I can imagine that from about my earliest days as an innocent child, I vowed to be the kind of mom that did NOT yell. But the problem with making promises when you're a child is that you don't know what you're talking about. And, really, anyone who has not birthed a child does not get to comment on my parenting skills, or lack thereof.
Kids will make you lose it in ways you never imagined before. And the moms that don't yell? Because, yes, they do exist – well, I'm convinced they just have a different set of DNA than I do. I imagine they are horrible at other things though, like laughing when their kids tell fart jokes or having spontaneous dance parties after dinner (two things I'm great at, by the way).
So, I feel the need to let the entire world know right now, that I really, truly am a great mom. It's just that, well, kids make me a little more bonkers than I expected. And while I have done many things to kick my bad habit, and I feel I've made huge improvements in the 11 years I've been a parent, I still yell.
So to the lady giving me the side eye in the Wal-Mart parking lot when I'm yelling at my 3-year-old to just get buckled for the love of all things important in this world: I promise I'm a great mom. It's just that what you didn't see was how he stared into space for a good solid 2 minutes while I patiently waited for him to turn around and get buckled. And when he did turn around, it was as slow as a sloth, and I'm pretty sure I saw my own life flash before my eyes while I was waiting. So forgive me for losing it.
I promise, I love my kids, and I'm working hard to kick the habit.
And to the neighbor who hears me yelling at my kids while the windows are open because they can't tear themselves away from dancing naked in front of a mirror to focus long enough to get not one, but all of their teeth brushed, I'm a great mom. Promise. I just yell a little because my kids have the attention spans of woodland creatures.
To my friend who sees me lose it at the neighborhood kids because they tried to pick up my kid and put him in a trash can, well, that kid deserves my wrath, because I kind of like the neighbor kids being scared of me.
To the random customer service guy on the other end of the phone who hears me yell at my kid to just be quiet before I lose my ever loving mind, just know – I'm a good mom. They just don't ever let me talk on the phone.
I have to say that I've cut back quite a bit on my yelling. I do think it's important to have goals for yourself as a mom and try to achieve them. Yes, yelling constantly at kids is damaging – I'm aware. That's why I try desperately to stop yelling. But I also have learned to apologize and mean it. I've learned that breaking bad habits takes time. And I've learned that an occasional yell because they are going to be late to school isn't going to permanently damage anybody.
But, I'm imperfect. I own it. And, therefore, I yell sometimes. Just know, I'm a good mom. And, I probably have a good reason.
And, also know, I'm always working on this goal to be the mom that doesn't yell at her kids. But, I refuse to quit being the mom that laughs at fart jokes at the dinner table.
If you liked this post, you’ll love Meredith Ethington’s debut parenting book, Mom Life: Perfection Pending, which provides an uplifting yet realistic look at all that is expected of moms in the 21st century. It’s so relatable, you’ll find yourself saying, “I guess I’m doing okay after all.” Now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and at Absolute Love Publishing.
Posted: 26 Feb 2018 06:00 PM PST
I have never understood people who say they need to take a cold shower. Who would do that to themselves? When I turn on my shower, I keep the water hot enough to steam wallpaper off the walls. I'm pretty sure that I am walking around in a constant state of "medium rare" because I have come close to boiling myself in the pursuit of warmth and coziness.
So when I first read about ice bath facials, I thought they sounded terrible. But — because I’m adventurous or a glutton for punishment (or both) — I decided to give them a try and then tell you all about it. You’re welcome.
First, an ice bath facial is exactly what it sounds like. It's a bath made of ice for your face. You take a large bowl and fill it with ice water. Some people prefer to splash their faces a specific number of times with this frigid water. Joan Crawford was a devoted face-freezer and splashed her face with ice water 25 times every time she washed it. Others prefer to submerge their faces completely in the bowl.
The icy cold water is meant to constrict the capillaries in the face to reduce swelling and puffiness, with the desired result of looking awake and refreshed.
After attempting this feat myself, I can vouch for the fact that it does make a person look awake. Mostly because I've never seen a sleeping person scream and curse so much at six in the morning.
Splashing water makes for a very wet bathroom, so I decided to go with polar-plunging my face. I figured it would be quicker and it wasn't like I was submerging my entire body. I pulled my hair back, secured my bangs and flyaways with a headband, set out my towel, and dunked.
Except I forgot—but immediately remembered— that ice water burns.
My intention was to keep my head under water for a few seconds. Maybe not as long as I could hold my breath, but close. Instead, I looked like one of those water drinking birds people used to sit on their desks that you only see in old Looney Toons shorts. Face went in. Face came right back out. Because ice water and human flesh is unfuckingpleasant.
Upon psyching myself up and trying to convince myself that this wasn’t an absolutely terrible idea, I was able to re-plunge my face and hold it in the water for a few seconds. After I came back up and patted my face down with a towel, I took a look in the mirror.
My face looked awake, alright. But it didn’t look so much refreshed as it looked enraged.
Sure, my makeup went on rather nicely afterward and my skin did feel smoother than usual and my complexion was a little brighter. But even though making my body think I was dying for a second wasn’t a bad look on me, the ice bath facial is not likely to be something I’m going to be adding to my beauty routine any time soon.
If I want pain in my skincare, my tolerance is better spent on microneedling and acid peels. But if I ever wake up puffy or extremely tired and need to do something about it, dunking my head in a bowl of ice isn't the worst remedy.
But because extreme temperatures, both hot and cold, aren't great for the skin, I wouldn't recommend a frequent habit. Subjecting your skin to freezing temperatures can result in broken capillaries, causing red spots on your face that can be hard to get rid of. At a maximum, I wouldn't exceed doing an ice bath facial more than a couple times per week.
However, I think I may have finally found the solution to my inability to drink coffee because coffee is disgusting. Flash-freezing my head first thing in the morning felt similar to injecting caffeine straight into my eyeballs, so I might be onto something here.
Posted: 26 Feb 2018 06:00 PM PST
The question of whether sports figures should be role models for our kids has been hotly debated for years. Some feel that putting professional athletes on a pedestal and expecting them to serve as examples to kids can only result in disillusionment when they inevitably fall from that pedestal. Others feel that parents and community leaders should be who kids look to for inspiration, not celebrity athletes who make far too much money and live extraordinary lives.
I can see these points. I can also see that tens of millions of kids play and watch sports. It's only natural to look up to those who have excelled at something you're interested in, and to admire those who exhibit hard work and determination.
Rather than dismiss the idea of athletes as role models altogether, our family looks for excellence and character on and off the field. Whether they feel inspired by a librarian or a linebacker, I want my kids to look at how someone lives their lives both inside and outside their profession and choose whom to admire accordingly.
In that spirit, here are some professional sports figures our kids can look to for inspiration:
Anthony Rizzo, First Baseman for the Chicago Cubs
Anthony Rizzo recently attended the vigil for the victims of the school shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, where the Cubs first baseman graduated in 2007. He had been coached by Aaron Feis, the assistant football coach slain in the massacre. Rizzo had recently donated $150,000 toward new stadium lights at the school, and his touching response to the shooting is worth a watch with your kids. Rizzo is also a cancer survivor, diagnosed in 2008 with Hodgkin lymphoma, which has since gone into remission. He is known as one of the most generous and philanthropic athletes around. His Anthony Rizzo Foundation endows two funds with a $3.5 million commitment to support cancer patients and their families.
Patrick Peterson, Cornerback for the Arizona Cardinals
Patrick Peterson is often referred to as the most charitable player in the NFL. In 2013, he founded the organization "Foundation for Success," which provides low-income youth with opportunities and resources to help them reach their potential. He hosts fundraisers and outreach events multiple times a year, and has dedicated a portion of this foundation to providing books and safe reading environments for at-risk kids in addition to literacy events. He helps natural disaster victims. He visits people in the hospital. He takes service trips to Haiti. He takes at-risk and low-income families shopping. The dude is solidly generous in every way.
Serena Williams, Tennis Goddess
Not only is she the greatest female tennis player in the world, Serena Williams is also a pretty stellar human being off the court. She has received multiple awards for her charity work, including her work fighting breast cancer, and her support of Big Brothers Big Sisters. She's a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador and helps communities in rural Uganda and Kenya with education and anti-poverty projects. Having lost a sister to gun violence, Williams also founded the Caliber Foundation, which supports individuals and communities who have been affected by gun violence. Oh yeah, and she also funds a national scholarship called Beyond the Boroughs. Go, goddess.
Chris Long – Defensive End for Philadelphia Eagles
When Chris Long's teammate and friend Malcolm Jenkins raised his fist during the national anthem to protest social injustice last year, Long wrapped his arm around him and stood by his side. "I've said before that I'll never kneel for an anthem because the flag means something different for everybody in this country," said Long, "but I support my peers. If you don't see why you need allies for people that are fighting for equality right now, I don't think you'll ever see it. Malcolm is a leader and I'm here to show support as a white athlete." Right on.
And to sweeten our love for Long a little longer, he also put his money where his mouth is by donating his entire $1 million salary for last season to educational equity initiatives in the three cities he's played—Philadelphia, Boston, and St. Louis—in his 10-year pro football career.
Misty Copeland, Ballerina
One of the things we like to see in role models for our kids is perseverance against the odds. Misty Copeland didn't start dancing until she was 13, and was rejected over and over by dance companies for being too old or "not having the right body for a ballerina." But in June of 2015, she became the first female African American principal dancer at the American Ballet Theatre. Copeland spends her free time helping kids at local clubs in the New York area discover ballet and work toward their dreams. President Obama appointed her to the President's Council of Fitness, Sports, and Nutrition in 2014. She also co-wrote the award-winning children's book, Firebird.
Albert Pujols, First Baseman for the Los Angeles Angels
If kids with special needs are close to your heart, then Albert Pujols will be too. Pujols immigrated to the U.S. from the Dominican Repulbic at age 16. He is now a devout family man with a passion for baseball, faith, and helping others. A father of four, including a child with Down syndrome, he founded the Pujols Family Foundation "to honor God and strengthen families," "to improve the standard of living and quality of life for impoverished people in the Dominican Republic through education, medical relief and tangible goods" and "to provide extraordinary experiences for children with disabilities and/or life threatening illnesses." Pujols is also an extraordinarily decorated player, having won league MVP three times.
J.J. Watt, Defensive End for the Houston Texans
At this year's Super Bowl, J.J. Watt was named as the Walter Payton Man of the Year, an honor given to one NFL player who exhibits excellence on and off the field. Watt's foundation raised $37 million in 19 days for the victims of Hurricane Harvey. $37 million. In 19 days. In his acceptance speech, he said, "At the end of my life, if I’m remembered as a football player and a good football player and that’s all I’m remembered for, then I did a poor job in my life. When I go to my grave I want to be remembered as a guy who helped people out and who tried to do as much as he could off the field to be the best man he could be." Good words to share with your kids.
Colin Kaepernick, Former Quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers
Yes, I know. Probably the most controversial athlete to ever grace our television screens. But this is a man who sacrificed a lucrative career for a cause he believes in and persevered in the face of tremendous hatred. And even if you take issue with his methods, you have to give the guy credit for consulting with a veteran and altering his protest to make it more respectful. He also puts his money and time where his mouth is. He recently donated the final amount of a million dollar pledge to 30+ organizations working in oppressed communities. He also founded Know Your Rights, a free campaign for youth to raise awareness on higher education, self-empowerment, and how to properly interact with law enforcement in various scenarios. Kaepernick may have pissed a lot of people off, but he's taken an active role in fighting injustice and done more to spark conversations about racism and police brutality than anyone else I can think of.
Pete Carroll, Head Coach of the Seattle Seahawks
If positive leadership is something you want your kids to see, look no further that Pete Carroll. Known for his upbeat coaching style and almost superhuman optimistic attitude on life, Carroll consciously cultivates a can-do culture among his players, coaches, and everyone else he comes into contact with. Off the field, he founded A Better L.A. when he coached at U.S.C, and A Better Seattle when he started coaching the Seahawks—organizations that help reduce and prevent gang violence and provide opportunities for at-risk youth.
(Full disclosure: I also have a personal reason for putting Coach Carroll on this list. I wrote an article on my blog a few years ago about how the Seahawks' coaching philosophies can be applied to parenting. Pete Carroll not only read my post, he called me on the phone—the day before a big playoff game—to thank me for the article and to chat about it. What?!? Seriously, a Genuinely. Cool. Guy.)
I could have added dozens more sports figures to this list, so it is by no means exhaustive. And naturally, our kids need to know that no human being is perfect. But if our kids are going to look up to athletes anyway, let’s teach them to look for heroes who are using their fame for good, and to direct their admiration to those who dedicate their time and money to bettering the world.
Posted: 26 Feb 2018 06:00 PM PST
"I feel like I'm Superwoman." That's all it took for the battle of the sexes to erupt at a family backyard summer barbecue. My husband whipped around in his chair with eyes wide and glistening, "Are you saying I do nothing!" Not at all what I meant.
It was a comment that was taken the wrong way, so much so that I even felt a bit of guilt. Why was he so offended? Things were blown out of proportion and the next thing I know the men are arguing about feeling unappreciated and the women expressing how over-worked they are.
My point was simple. My husband — who is a loving, supportive and involved father, a magnificent man (I hope he's reading this) — simply does not do as much as I do in one day. This doesn't demean him or his parental role in any way so for him take my "Superwoman" comment and translate that into an under-appreciation of his hard work was baffling.
A screeching alarm goes off at 6:15 a.m. jolting me out of the five hours of sleep I managed to get.
The scramble to get breakfast ready starts at about 6:25 a.m., in the interim I'm running around getting the school uniform and lunch box ready because of course I didn't prepare for this the night before. It's as if someone hits the fast forward button as part of a cruel practical joke making time fly when you need it to slow down the most. Next thing I know I'm rushing to get dressed grabbing articles of clothing that would somewhat match in a faint effort to not look like a total disaster for the rest of the day as I yell across the room for my daughter to put on her shoes and finish her breakfast of the third time. One last look in her book bag just to make sure I don't send her in a track suit again confusing Pajama Day with Sports Day (that was embarrassing).
It's 7:30 a.m. and I’m now running out the door, hair halfway done, rushing to the car to avoid arriving late to school. You know it’s a problem when the security guard congratulates you for actually making it on time. Keep in mind I'm not even on my way to work yet.
Now to my darling husband's morning. He wakes up at 7:00 a.m., showers, gets dressed, sprays on some cologne, and goes his merry way. Short, nice, and simple.
After a long day’s work, I'm home by 7 p.m. The living room is now a play house with dolls, paint, clay, and my makeup scattered on the floor and coffee table while the Disney channel plays in the background—but on the bright side dinner's ready. It has been 13 hours since I woke up from only five hours of sleep and it has been non-stop all day. Even during my lunch break I find myself running errands. My hope at this point is that my daughter has at least done her homework, but to my aggravation they were both waiting on me to get started despite being home for the past two hours.
It is now 9:15 p.m., my body and mind hurt. I read her a bedtime story and wait until she falls asleep, refusing to shut her eyes unless I am laying next to her. During all this time, where is he? On the couch, Netflix and chill (literally). I don't even remember the last time I watched anything on television that wasn't rated Y7.
We manage to squeeze in some time alone together until he blissfully makes his way to bed and I get to spend some time alone with myself in an attempt to regroup at 12 a.m. I check my emails, do some writing, search the web, meditate and it's now 1:30 a.m. and I decide to call it a day.
At 6:15 a.m., it starts all over again.
Now this may sound a bit inconsiderate and lazy on his part, but trust me this is not the case. He picks up our child from school, plays with her, makes dinner, helps with homework most of the time, and if I yell loud enough he actually cleans before I get home. It is not that I don't appreciate him, as he was so quick to assume. It's that, unlike myself, he gets to spend a lot more quality time with himself. He has the time to do the things he wants to do and can stop and give himself some TLC when needed because he overly relies on Superwoman.
As mothers, we have the overwhelming need to ensure that our children are cared for in every way possible. We want to give 110% of ourselves because we're selfless when it comes to our little ones, even when they are not so little anymore. As an essential part of the workforce, we strive to excel in our careers and establish ourselves in the work place, many times going above and beyond to reach our goals. As wives, fiancés, or girlfriends, we want to have healthy, loving, stable relationships with our significant other. As caretakers, we desire to have an immaculate home, clean kitchens and made up beds (good luck with that). And to top it all off, we want a social life with supportive friends who will listen to us vent for hours over a couple of glasses of wine.
We want it all, and do it all to the best of our abilities, many times neglecting ourselves in the process. Finding a balance between the many layers of life can be overwhelming, tricky and in all honestly brutally exhausting. So yes, we are Superwomen. Not a title meant to undermine any one else in our lives, but one made in full acknowledgment of all we do. The supernatural powers that come with being a mom.
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