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#Funny News

#Funny News

Ben Shapiro Refutes Leftist’s Claim About the Second Amendment Being for Muskets Only

Posted: 26 Feb 2018 05:58 PM PST


Ever since the massacre at Parkland, we’ve been in the throes of yet another battle over the Second Amendment. As usual, mind-numbingly boneheaded leftists are pulling all sorts of idiotic arguments from their rectums. Yet not a single fact among them.

Take this argument, if you’d call it that, for instance. A lefty pulled the “Second Amendment is for muskets only” card:

Wow, the stupid is strong with this one. Now, I could take this dunce down with ease, but I’ll defer to my favorite smooth-talkin’ political thug, Ben Shapiro:

ed mcmahon phil hartman

It’s funny how leftists never confine any of the other amendments in the Bill of Rights to 1791. They’ll readily agree free speech carries over to radio, television, and computer boxes. Yet, the moment we get to the subject of advances in lead-slingers, progressives flip the script. Suddenly, constitutional rights only apply to 18th-Century tech.

It’s no shocker how the left is constitutionally ignorant. They see the Bill of Rights more as a set of recommendations than a legally binding document. For anti-gunners, the Constitution means whatever they want it to mean at a given time. The reality is rights don’t switch on and off to suit the lefts’ whims. Just as free speech extends to the internet, the right to bear arms extends to muskets, modern rifles, and whatever phaser gun contraptions those ballistic nerds will think up next.

Maybe progressives should spend a little more time reading the Constitution, instead of using it for butt-wiping or kindling for a bonfire. The meaning and intent of the Second Amendment is pretty clear. The right of a law-abiding gent to buy an AR-47 assault cannon with child-seeking bullet tips “shall not be infringed.” End of debate.


WATCH: Trump Hilariously Insults Canada, Everyone Has a Good Laugh

Posted: 26 Feb 2018 05:53 PM PST

The country of hockey and maple syrup has been in the headlines almost as much as Donald Trump. They lost in women’s hockey to the U.S., a devastating blow to Canuck self esteem. Then, Justin Trudeau embarrasses his nation by showing up to India in traditional attire. Now, Trump is calling Canada “smooth” in reference to trade.

Trump was talking about the North American Free Trade Agreement, during which he threw some shade at the neighbors we pretend don’t exist. It’s like the ugly house on the block, bringing down the price of real estate for the rest. The hole from which Justin Trudeau crawled.

Clearly, Canada does think they’re amazing. Just look at those dance moves. Pure fire.

Of course, not all of Canada was going to take the shade.

Listen, Chris, this insult is the best compliment Canada has received. They’re currently the geek in high school who took Star Wars themed senior pictures with his cat “Schrödinger.” Then reported everyone who laughed at him to the principle for hate speech.

I agree. Would be much better than the current anthem. Maybe add a leather jacket. T’would give the country an edge which was sawed off by Justin Trudeau, with the blade he used to shave down his own Adam’s apple.

Of course, not everything to come from Canada is bad. Crowder for example. There are some logical folks in the country still, who aren’t to blame for their universial healthcare or cap on freedom of speech. It’s the nonsense which keeps spilling over the border making us call them “smooth.” They’re pushing “compassion, tolerance, and equality” as a means by which to strip people of fundamental rights. Canada is an example of why Americans should value freedom, and why we value blunt politicians like Trump.

Speaking of which, Canada is the perfect example of socialized healthcare, and how it’s a total disaster:


This Video Wants You To Help Find Justin Trudeau Some Testicles

Posted: 26 Feb 2018 05:41 PM PST

I sometimes feel bad taking digs at Justin “I Feel Pretty” Trudeau. It’s almost too easy (see Proud Feminist Justin Trudeau Shames His Own Sons for Toxic 'Masculine' Nature and [Video] Owen Benjamin Dunks All Over Justin Trudeau). If I had to sum him up, it’d be something like if the Communist Manifesto and hair care products had a baby. And the baby was a bucket of soy. Who lacked testicular fortitude. That’s Trudeau.

bill murray

YouTube personality Jill Colton is starting to grow concerned for the Prime Minister’s well being. So she’s raising money to get him the help he so sorely needs.

What would you do for someone in need? Would a dollar a week be too much to stop the suffering? Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been living for years without balls.

Watch him sit. Look closely. There’s nothing there.

Without balls, he’s a man lost and confused.

major league

Pretty Young Trudeau is obviously suffering. PYT needs your help. Open your heart and find it within yourself to help ease his lack of manliness.

Or we can just keep dunking on him. Because let’s be honest, there’s just so much to make fun of.


Ex-White House Aide Loses Her Mind, Calls the White House a ‘Plantation’

Posted: 26 Feb 2018 05:35 PM PST

Victim cards come in all colors and patterns. Female victimhood. LGBT victimhood. Race victimhood. Cards can now be combined with Mastercard transactions in California and certain areas of New York. Omarosa Manigault is playing her race card on “Big Brother,” the show where celebrity careers go to die.

Omarosa was an aide to President Trump before she resigned. Or the White House pushed her out. Dueling stories. Nonetheless, here we are:

"I'm thinking of writing a tell-all sometime. He's going to come after me with everything he has. Like, I'm going up against a kazillionaire. So I'll probably end up in court for the next… but I have to tell my truth. I'm tired of being muted… Ooo, freedom! I’m emancipated! I feel like I just got freed off of a plantation.

"I was literally the only African American woman on the senior staff. Nobody knows what I went through. Nobody's seen… I haven't even told people some of the horrors that I experienced… Because I was black, people wouldn't even talk to me. It wasn't just the black thing, it was the woman thing."

Omarosa seems to have lost her marbles. Maybe they’re under the couch in the Oval Office. Too bad she can’t go back to the “plantation” and check.

Describing the White House as a plantation is harmful to two things: her dignity and the validity of the actual torture her ancestors may have experienced. Only an entitled, delusional plop would complain about being oppressed in the White House. The highest office space in the U.S. From where she quit.

If she were truly oppressed, she wouldn’t be allowed within a 10 mile radius of the famous dome.

"Omarosa was fired three times on 'The Apprentice.' This was the fourth time we let her go," Deputy Press Secretary Raj Shah said earlier this month.

Ouch. Embarrassing. Not as embarrassing as being taken from a serious position to being asked onto Big Brother, but still. The most awkward part is that she didn’t have any better job offers. Of course, this is supposed to be “Celebrity Big Brother.” But we have no idea who those other people are.

Omarosa is falling from the tree of plenty into the sewage pit of whiny bums. This former White House employee shows how easy it is to blame one’s self-loathing on others. Instead of taking responsibility for their lives, victim culture allows people to blame their weight, income, lack of talent, and lack of basic hygiene on those of higher economic status. Because of how the demographical victim system works, even successful black people can now play the race card. We don’t like this game. Let us off, please.

Do you need a victim card*? Don’t hesitate, call now. Available in Racebait Red, Feminist Fuchsia, or Gay Gray. Call now, and we’ll include the Disability Double Pack absolutely free.

*Doesn’t apply to the state of Texas.



Chris Pratt Offers Kevin Smith Prayers, So Of Course the Internet Attacks

Posted: 26 Feb 2018 04:21 PM PST

Kevin Smith

Most of my college experiences can be summed up by Kevin Smith movies. House parties, pints of Busch in the parking lot, and the View Askewneverse. I’ve even made the pilgrimage to Red Back to visit Quick Stop Convenience and RST Video respectively. Smith became the first of his kind: a celebrity who would communicate with fans via the interwebs. He was more than gracious answering questions during the three months I thought about screenwriting.

He is a big influence on a lot of people in my age group. One of them being Chris Pratt. After Smith announced he had a near fatal heart attack, Pratt asked people to pray for him. Naturally.

So of course people had to be atheist douche tacos about it. Naturally.

About that, Sparky. If you’re just now finding out Pratt is a believer (see REFRESHING: Chris Pratt Talks Importance of Faith, Family in Hollywood and Chris Pratt Classes up the Internet, Uses Instagram to Express His Faith…), you’re not much of a fan.

Plus, to be fair, there were a lot more people praying than there were idiots. Even Guardians director James Gunn came to his defense.

This is just where we’re at now. A leftist PR firm decided attacking elected officials who pray was a good talking point. Now if anyone famous offers a prayer for anything other than more funding to Planned Parenthood, people get triggered.

Screw the haters. I had already said a prayer before Chris Pratt asked me to.

I’m also praying we still get to see the Jay and Silent Bob reboot.


WATCH: Crazy SJWs Scream, Stage Violent Walk-Out During Panel’s Conclusion That Men and Women Are Different

Posted: 26 Feb 2018 03:38 PM PST

Time to play some mustard and catch up on the topic of  James Damore. He was the guy who wrote the truthful Google memo about differences between men and women. He recently spoke on a panel about sex differences at Portland State University. Why anyone would choose to set foot in Portland, except to use the potty, boggles us all.

The brave souls on the panel were the target of screaming by feminists with short, unicorn puke dyed hair. Social justice heifers even busted the sound system and tossed diatribes (not to be confused with diabetes) at security. Watch the madness:

“Even the women in there have been brainwashed!”

The lady above, in the video (not the angry bridge troll in the GIF), is a scientist discussing the distribution of fat, muscle, and height on Homo sapiens. Such are facts of reality. Established by the event of birth, in according with both the plumbing and DNA. She talks about it in detail. Whereas, the angry midget with the blue hair believes gender/sex can be defined several years after birth, and men and women are totes twinsies. Both ideas not stemming from facts or actual events. Someone here was brainwashed. Guess which.

This is the left. They throw fits at the level of a toddler who has gotten a hold of the magic markers, and once he has colored his hair, mom takes the markers away.

Crying baby

Biology, psychology, sociology, and virtually every other science/study based ology, make it clear males and females are different. One is XX one is XY. One has certain danglies, the other does not. One works more efficiently at several tasks at once, the other is generally more single-minded. One flourishes in nurturing others, the other focuses on protecting. These are all backed by peer-reviewed papers, experiments, studies, and the ultimate indicator, observance by means of eye holes.

The left’s intolerance for a panel of this nature shows they believe in neither tolerance or science. Two pillars of their political candy shops are full of sugar-coated lies. Upon which they gorge themselves. Thus the fatness.

Let’s have an honest conversation about gender:


Video: MSNBC Guest Claims Criticizing Law Enforcement is Treasonous

Posted: 26 Feb 2018 03:14 PM PST

If this were any other time, leftists would be crying and soiling their Huggies over the “fascists” in law enforcement. They’d be pulling race cards from every orifice and casting middle fingers in the direction of the boys nondescript persons in blue.

Now that conservatives have a bone to pick with certain incompetent members of law enforcement, though, leftists have suddenly built up an unwavering respect for all things po-po:

MSNBC guest and Sirius XM radio host Mark Thompson said on Monday that he believes criticizing the FBI and law enforcement is a "high crime and misdemeanor."

During a discussion about the Nunes memo and the subsequent Democratic response on MSNBC, Thompson said he had "never seen anything" like the criticisms of the FBI and law enforcement from Republicans.

"And the other thing, just to draw together, this whole thing with the NRA. The NRA and Trump are attacking local law enforcement. The White House is attacking the FBI," Thompson said. "We've never seen anything like this coming from Republicans."

Well, the left’s lack of self-awareness appears to be approaching Michael Scott levels.

Up until five minutes ago, if a cop so much as glared in the general direction of the wrong person, the left would label all law enforcement a white supremacist murder squad. Now that they’re trying to score some political points against the Donald and the NRA, suddenly law enforcement is sacred and deserves our respect.

When there’s a colossal failure or bias on a law enforcement agency’s part, it’s acceptable to criticize them. Leftists should know a thing or two about that. They declare entire departments failures every time a brown person gets popped by a cop. Regardless of whether or not the shooting was justified.

Leftist inconsistency at its worst, folks. Shouting “pigs in a blanket, fry em’ like bacon” counts as free speech when it’s the left doing it. It’s perfectly cool, even when their incendiary rhetoric leads to bloodbaths. Yet, when a conservative points out how the FBI failed to remain impartial or a Sheriff dropped the ball in Florida it’s suddenly treason. Make up your minds, lefties.

BREAKING: FedEx Responds to #BoycottNRA, and the Left Won’t Like It

Posted: 26 Feb 2018 02:22 PM PST


#BoycottNRA was the it hashtag this past weekend (see Leftists Demand Boycott of the NRA. Here's the Businesses Who Caved. and The NRA Issues Scathing Response to #BoycottNRA). Every liberal and their fifty cats had something to say about it. One of the big companies the anti-gun (anti-honesty and anti-reality too) zealots were targeting was the FedEx.

Well, FedEx heard them and they have a response. Spoiler: The anti-gun regime isn’t going to like it. Nor will the “moderate” people who have appointed teenagers as our intellectual superiors.

#MugClub, on the other hand, approves.

Obviously we disagree with the anti-gun sentiment of this. However, we’re all big fans of the whole not caving to an internet outrage mob part. This is how the free market is meant to work. You can still work with people you disagree with politically.

In fact, that’s how civilized democracy is supposed to work. People of different political parties should be able to cohabit peacefully, sans discrimination. Take notes, leftists!


Activist David Hogg Praises Fellow Teen’s Extreme Gun Control Proposals

Posted: 26 Feb 2018 10:57 AM PST

David Hogg

In case you didn’t know, the teen members of Future Social Justice Warriors of America want your boomsticks, and they want them now. At the forefront of their movement is David Hogg, a survivor of the Stoneman school shooting. Little Dave has been all over the airwaves as of late, bashing NRA “child murderers” and excoriating gun owners for not supporting “common sense” gun control.

Hogg recently made this tweet where he praised another teen for his gun control plan and encouraged other people like him to stand up.

Davey was nice enough to include a printed copy of that gun control plan in the photograph:

The only guns allowed for home ownership should be a pistol (revolver) or shotgun. Hunting rifle may be owned, but the types of allowable sights prohibited (Nothing that will allow a shooter to be further away than the cop can focus on).

No guns to be sold or owned that have a magazine of any type.

I take it he means detachable box magazines, seeing as just about every long gun has a magazine (the place where the boom pellets are stored) of some type.

Private production of bullets is prohibited.

Bad news, my fellow reloaders. You can say bye-bye to that $1500 Dillon press you just bought if these kiddos get their way. Though, I have yet to see a single mass shooter pictured at a reloading bench, trimming and priming 5.56 cases for his upcoming trip to the schoolhouse. I guess these kids have something against recycling.

A gun owner can have a onetime life supply of a small number of bullets to bring home. All other bullets must be bought at the range (price issues to be worked out) and used at the range.

Well, that rant was rife with errors, contradictions, and overall incoherence. I can’t help but wonder if this kid was drunk on Tide Pods when he came up with this. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the soon-to-be leaders of America.

This kid does a fine job of representing his fellow gun-grabbers. He has very little knowledge of firearms and he’s proposing “solutions” which are overreaching and irrelevant in a mass-shooting debate. If this were an argumentative writing class, Chuckie would get an F. Provided of course the teacher wasn’t concealing a Che Guevara T-shirt under his button-down.

Look, it’s important for these voices to be heard, yes. If they want to be a part of the debate, the public should respect them enough to analyze their opinions. No hiding behind the veil of victimhood. There’s a reason why we usually don’t let children make the big decisions. They’re short on information and they lack fully-functional frontal lobes. Maybe that’s why the left has taken such a liking to teen activists. They have so much in common.


School Shooting Victim’s Father Calls Out Media for Politicizing Florida

Posted: 26 Feb 2018 07:20 AM PST

If you’re a school shooting victim’s loved one, I get wanting to ban all the things. I may disagree with some of what you say, but I understand where it’s coming from. Unless you’re saying that I’m a murderer with blood on my hands. You can eat my fetid flatulence in that case.

Andrew Pollack is someone whose shoes I pray I never have to be in. He’s not talking about gun control though. He’s talking about the media politicizing gun control for ratings.

Gun control is a big issue. No one in America is gonna come together on gun control, Chris. We could get together on school safety, but we don’t care about gun control right now. That’s a big issue in the country and you’re not going to get everyone together on it. But we’re gonna get everyone together on fixing our schools.

You didn’t mention one question to Governor Scott about what are we gonna do about the security for our children – how are we gonna do that?

But you’re just talking about gun control, which is gonna just give you more ratings.

Pollack is 100% right. I’d just be curious to hear him say this on CNN or MSNBC (see WATCH: Lawrence O’Donnell Delivers Error-Filled Rant on AR-15s and Video: Dana Loesch Catches Alisyn Camerota in a Lie Over NRA Insults). It’d be satisfying to watch the slithering snot weasels confronted face to face.

LOL. Like CNN or MSNBC would allow that.