Zicutake USA Comment | Search Articles

#History (Education) #Satellite report #Arkansas #Tech #Poker #Language and Life #Critics Cinema #Scientific #Hollywood #Future #Conspiracy #Curiosity #Washington
 Smiley face
 SYFY TV online Free


[Calculate SHA256 hash]
 Smiley face
 Smiley face Encryption Text and HTML
Aspect Ratio Calculator
[HTML color codes]
 Smiley face Conversion to JavaScript
[download YouTube videos in MP4, FLV, 3GP, and many more formats]

 Smiley face Mining Satoshi | Payment speed

 Smiley face
Online BitTorrent Magnet Link Generator


#Funny News

#Funny News

Celebrities Announce Sequel to #MeToo: #AskMoreOfHim

Posted: 03 Mar 2018 07:39 PM PST


Between rounds of your life and politics which shape our lives, another silly movement was launched at whatever the last award show was all of Hollywood attended but none of you watched. Because of that “life” thing you have. So lemme get you caught up: Hollywood has released a totally legit, non-contrived solution to Hollywood’s rape problem (see Rose McGowan BLASTS Alyssa Milano's #MeToo Hypocrisy and Even Hardcore Feminists Are Sick of #MeToo Victimhood). Also, Hollywood’s looking the other way while Hollywood’s rape problem was a problem…problem.

Play that funky music, John Williams. The Oscars have brought us the all-male remake: #AskMoreOfHim. Hold on, the alarm is going off.


If you were to sarcastically write an all-male #MeToo letter, you would get this. Hold on to your squishy ball sacks:

But our awe is not enough. As men, we have a special responsibility to prevent abuse from happening in the first place. After all, the vast majority of sexual harassment, abuse, and violence is perpetrated by men, whether in Hollywood or not. And in entertainment – like many industries – men continue to hold most of the decision-making power. Therefore, one of the most powerful things that men can and must do is make it clear to other men – including their friends, colleagues, and co-workers – that sexual harassment and abuse are never acceptable. This goes for everything from sexist and degrading comments, right up to domestic violence and sexual assault.

Some may question our motives for signing this statement…blah blah blah, yackity schmackity.

Signed, David Schwimmer, David Arquette, and a bunch of people I never heard of.


Brave. A letter promising to do something about something. If only the lads storming Normandy had known of hashtags. So many lives lost. So many pound signs untyped.

Maybe this is my toxic masculinity speaking. I have a brisket on the smoker and just shotgunned a beer. But only beta-male Hollywood insiders need a hashtag to encourage themselves to be men. They had decades to do something about what everyone knew was going on. They just didn’t have the testicular fortitude. They didn’t even have the balls to stand up when other men were being sexually harassed and/or abused by other men. Disbanded Brothers: Groping of a Package. Ang Lee is buying the rights.

So quick everybody! Let’s be impressed the guy from Friends and Patricia’s less talented brother who used to be married to Ross’s sister Courteney Cox have a hashtag and a press release. They don’t know that we know that they know we know.

There’s a whole new generation who don’t understand the references in the above paragraph. Sad!


Megan McCain Blasts Oscars: Americans are Sick of Being Lectured To

Posted: 03 Mar 2018 07:15 PM PST

Meghan McCain still has a job at The View. It’s a plot twist right out of M. Night Shamalan.

I’m not sure if there’s an over/under set for when she’s replaced by Ana Navarro or Jennifer Rubin. Heck, Lena Dunham. I’m making it June. But she’s been a refreshing counter to the panel of rabid cats, shrieking Democrat talking points. Or poor Joy Behar who still thinks it’s the 60s and is waiting for her big break on the Johnny Carson show.

On Friday the cackling coven was discussing the Academy Awards. McCain echoed all of us when she said nuts to all award shows.

I don't really watch award shows anymore. And maybe — I know there's a segment of the population that thinks Trump jokes are hilarious, making fun of Republicans is hilarious — I'm here to tell you that Hillary Clinton cameos, all that, I'm so turned off. I have no interest in being lectured to about my friends who are Trump supporters. And if Hollywood wants to like, be more inclusive, as they claim they are — they're all inclusive except when it comes to conservative values and except when it comes to Republicans and I'm not interested in watching that.

She then mentioned how the more leftwing starlets whine about Trump, the lower the ratings sink (see Political Stunts at Grammys Backfire Majorly. Ratings Tank HARD. and Viewer Ratings for Trump-Bashing Emmys Among the Lowest Ever…). Go figure. Jimmy Kimmel is hosting this year. Ratings might get so dreary, they might cancel the Oscars all together. Replace them with reruns Grey’s Anatomy. Jeopardy. Infomercials for Micro-machines. Actually that last idea isn’t half bad.

Personally, take away the lectures and I still hate award shows. Over-privileged celebrities giving each other reach-arounds, reveling in their flatulence. Ingratiating themselves to each other. I’d rather mosey through a dog park, where at least the animals are honest about the intentions of their butt sniffing. I’ll probably finally finish Voltron on Netflix instead. A cartoon based on five robot lions that form a bigger robot. It’s more real than a room full of Hollywood’s finest hypocrites.


Democratic Texas Candidate Receives Majority of Funds From Deer Semen

Posted: 03 Mar 2018 10:56 AM PST

Donations in Deer Semen

Questionable donations are a common occurrence in the pocketbooks of Democrat politicians. Must go hand-in-hand with the Democratic tendency toward the ugly. Maybe a propensity for bank fraud is directly related to the level of “OH MY LORD!” one shrieks as one looks upon the unshapely countenance of the liberal in question. It would explain a lot.

Prepare for a whole new level of ugly money. A Texas race for a Democratic House seat is giving a whole new meaning to “ew, that’s gross.”

The Dallas News reported Thursday that Ana Lisa Garza, a district court judge running a primary challenge against eight-term Democrat Ryan Guillen, has received $51,000 in in-kind donations to her campaign, listed as individual donations of frozen deer semen straws.

Talk deerty to me.

Fred Gonzalez, a Texas deer breeder who serves as treasurer of the Texas Deer Association, told the Dallas News that the group's political action committee has received more than $975,000 in deer semen donations since 2006, and has given more than $885,000 in the same period of time.

"Semen is a very common way for us to donate. One collection on a buck could lead to 60 straws sometimes. If you have a desirable animal, it's a way to bring value without breaking the bank."

Getting more bang for their bucks. These are truly Texas doe-nations. Well done, America.

Oh, deer.

That was the last one.

Look, donations are donations are donations. We’re not saying donating via deer jiz is illegal. Only that it’s weird. We’d ask PETA what they thought about their party of choice accepting in-kind donations in the form of Bambi’s frozen finest. But why?

Next time you’re asked to “donate” let this story be an inspirational moment. Instead of writing a check, go tap a wild animal you come across having a little fun with itself. It’s the Democrat way.

If you need a segue from this story to the video below, you’re not paying attention.

~Co-written by Nichole Cooper and Courtney Kirchoff


Democrats in Baltimore Tout Their Gun Ban, Ignore Highest Murder Rates

Posted: 03 Mar 2018 10:11 AM PST

Baltimore Touts Gun Ban

In the magical world of anti-weapon wonder, progressives ban every piece of lead and steel. No boomsticks in sight. As far as the eye can see. Notice it’s not a ban on knives. Frying pans. Cars. No, no, just guns. Such is the line of logic when it comes to “gun violence.” Only guns are inanimate objects coming to fat shame your kids. Knifes, fists, cars, teachers telling Mrs. Robinson to hold their wine… meh.

That’s the setup here. Maryland is touting its ban on AR-15s and restrictive gun laws.

One Putin ego-sized problem:

Baltimore is the most dangerous city in America, according to a new study by USA Today, with 55.8 murders per 100,000 residents.

That’s kind of a lot.

The Maryland Democratic Party Chairwoman Kathleen Matthews sent out this email:

"Following the tragic Sandy Hook shooting in Newtown, Democrats in Maryland passed one of the toughest assault weapons bans in the country. Now, as young people in Parkland are leading the Never Again movement against gun violence, all of Maryland's Democratic members of Congress are united against the NRA and their Republican cronies in the fight to pass an assault weapons ban to protect all Americans."

the office keyin laughing

Included in the email:

Gun Ban Poster

That’s adorable. We, too, can use Photoshop. So, at this time, we’d like to tell Maryland to sit itself down for a schooling on facts. Contained in one convenient graphic for your retweeting or pinning pleasure:

Parkland NRA meme

Maybe we don’t need gun control. Maybe we need government control.

In 2013, Maryland signed one of the most restrictive gun control laws in America. Maryland also has one of the most murder-happy cities on the planet. Bragging about their accomplishments, as it relates to guns, over the bloodied bodies of murder victims, is dumber than Nancy Pelosi on laughing gas. Yet that’s exactly what Maryland is doing.

Behold, more facts:

In the years following the law's passage, the City of Baltimore has seen an escalation of its murder rate, jumping from 211 murders in 2014 to 343 in 2017.

We aren’t stupid enough to say the gun control measures caused Baltimore’s murder rate to rise. Saying such would be like claiming greenhouse gasses cause catastrophic weather events. We are saying these measures discourage legal, law-abiding people from buying guns. Which they can use in self-defense. Against murderers who may or may not have used illegal guns, knives, or insidious hashtags.


Question for Maryland. If gun control is such a huge success there, shouldn’t all gun crime stop? If gun control in Maryland is better than bacon wrapped cheese dipped in money, why is Baltimore the capital of suck?

I rest my case.

AR-15s aren’t the mythical killing machines of the left’s nightmares. Get the lowdown:


Florida Sheriff’s Department Training University Employees to Carry

Posted: 03 Mar 2018 09:33 AM PST

Florida Sheriff's Department

I think we’ve heard enough from Generation Tide Pod. About guns and life itself (see Report: Parkland Teens Being Organized by EVERY Liberal Interest Group and Activist David Hogg Praises Fellow Teen's Extreme Gun Control Proposals). Call me when they’ve grown up and start paying taxes. ‘Cause they’ll keep yapping as long as they’re fed talking points. Or until cable news gets distracted by something shinier.

Adults, however, are ready for solutions. Something that could actually say #NeverAgain. For a Florida Sheriff’s Department, that means training university employees.

Faculty and staff at both Webber International University and Southeastern University will be permitted to carry firearms on campus after undergoing extensive training by a local sheriff's department.

Faculty and staff who undergo the training are appointed as "Special Deputies" by the sheriff's department "for the limited purpose of providing security on Southeastern University's campus during an active assailant incident," according to the department.

Who else read “Special Deputies” and thought of cheap little plastic stars being pinned onto children dressed as cowboys? Just me? Okay then.

Training consists of 132 hours of instruction, including 1,000 rounds of live fire training and eight hours of active shooter instruction. The total hours of training participants receive is 25% more than the department's deputies receive. As well, the department mandates an 85% pass rate for the training as compared to the 80% rate set by state standards.

It’s all voluntary. Got that? Forcing teachers or anyone else to carry is a terrible idea. So far, no one’s proposing that. Forcing teachers to lock and load makes as much sense as taking policy advice from tweens who literally don’t know the proper use of the word literally. As stupid as our politics have become, we’re not quite at the level of handing guns to people who don’t want them. Something to be thankful for.

But should you choose to carry, the training is available. Criminals ignore the “gun free zone” sign. Maybe it’s time for professors and administrators to start doing the same.


Ben Shapiro Just Destroyed a Crucial Planned Parenthood Talking Point

Posted: 03 Mar 2018 07:58 AM PST

Leftists don’t always think things through. They scream TRUMP IS LITERALLY HITLER! Also, Trump should sign a law allowing government take your guns.

idiot sandwich

Then there’s Planned Parenthood of Kentucky. The abortion slaughterhouse women’s “health” organization. Being transgender is on trend these days. Women’s rights be damned (see "Male" Transgender Wrestler Set To Win 2nd State Title in Women's Division and FAIRNESS? Transgender Track Star Steals Two State Championships from ACTUAL Girls…). Though some intern must have been chewing on a Tide pod when they sent this.

Three points:

a) No they don’t.
b) This style of tweet needs to die in a fire.
b) This style of tweet needs to die in a fire.
b) This style of tweet needs to die in a fire.
b) This style of tweet needs to die in a fire.
c) I was to understand men weren’t allowed to have an opinion on abortion.

Or as Ben Shapiro points out:

Apparently men CAN have an opinion. If they’re really women. Pretending to be men. Talking about a women’s “health” clinic. All you need is a uterus. Though if you have a uterus and disagree with Planned Parenthood, you don’t get to have an opinion either. Only if you’re pro-uterus AND pro-abortion. Your opinion is valid in that instance. I think.

Yes, I’m as confused as you are right now.

Either way, that tweet was Maxine Waters of tweets. Good on Ben Shapiro for calling them out on it.

Even if he is poisoning America one anthrax-laden tumbler at a time.