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#Funny News

#Funny News

PRANKED: SvenComputer ‘Hosts” Louder With Crowder!

Posted: 01 May 2018 06:13 PM PDT

In this special episode of Louder With Crowder, SvenComputer hosts the show! Or so he thinks? Join Steven, NotGayJared, and Dean Cain in this Prankception as they are confronted with more twists than even they planned for.

A prank within a prank within a prank. Not to be confused with Hillary’s shot at the presidency. Though while we’re on the subject of failures, do you think Sven was a good sport during the faux crapfest, or does he deserve a firing and memory wipe?


Venezuelan Currency Set to Inflate By 13,000 Percent

Posted: 01 May 2018 05:16 PM PDT

Venezuelan Inflation

Happy May Day, my people! Time for the workers to gather and let those bourgeoise asshats know they’re coming to make the wealthy’s money their own. Though, before they break out the torches and string Warren Buffet up in a tree, they might want to take a look at the news coming from the Venezuelan place.

Inflation is set to skyrocket like Michael Moore’s blood sugar after a binge at Dairy Queen:

When Yolanda Abreu got her check for severance pay after five years working as a cardiologist, she let out a laugh of sheer disbelief: it was barely enough for a cup of coffee.

Like her, millions of Venezuelans have seen their salaries decimated by rampant hyperinflation that is expected to drive prices up by 13,000 percent this year, IMF figures show.

Her story hit the headlines after she tweeted a photo of the check for 156,584.29 bolivars, which equates to about $0.20 on the black market.

“They called me from Caracas University Hospital to come and collect my check for benefits accrued over five years of service as a level 2 specialist in cardiology and electrophysiology,” she wrote on Twitter.

And what will it buy, she wondered indignantly. “A coffee?”

Looks like that socialism isn’t quite working out the way they’d hoped.

It’s amusing how this news coincides with May Day. What a coincidence. The workers of the world are uniting in borderline socialist countries to celebrate Marx supposedly being the bee’s knees. The Venezuelan peeps, meanwhile, are busy hoping they can afford a venti Frappuccino with their severance. Sounds like Marx wasn’t the economic wizard the left thinks he was.

Leftists hold up countries like Venezuela as the gold standard of economics. Except their money’s only use is as kindling on a fire. Socialism’s victims chow down on zoo animals. All the while, selling your body on the street corner pays better than being a doctor.

But good luck convincing all the May Day Bernie bros to trade The Communist Manifesto for an economics textbook.


CNN Analyst Questions Trump’s ‘Legitimacy’ as President. Sarah Sanders Shuts Her Down.

Posted: 01 May 2018 03:50 PM PDT

Sarah Sanders gets a lot of flack from peeved leftists. Specifically childless cat ladies and closeted crazies like Kathy Griffin. Glancing at Sanders’ record of trampling the hoopleheads of the press, it’s not all too surprising they hate her with the embittered passion of a pubescent tween.

Today, Sarah gave them another reason to bristle. During a White House press briefing, CNN’s April Ryan graced us all with a nonsensical, babbling question about Trump’s presidential legitimacy. Sarah wasn’t having any of it.

RYAN: Payoffs, hush money, Russia trolls, Wikileaks, DNC hacks, Comey email investigations, allegations of collusion… Do these issues give support to those who offer questions about the president’s legitimacy?

SANDERS: Uh, I’m not sure I follow the question. But I think the fact that millions of Americans came out and voted for and continue to support this presidency makes him pretty legitimate.

I’m not sure anyone follows that question. Particularly how it fits over a year into the presidency. Also worth noting, we didn’t see April Ryan asking these questions during the Obama presidency. Which was riddled with its own truckload of scandals that got swept under the carpet, courtesy of the media. Oopsie.

In case you need a refresher on said scandals:

The media has made their biases clear. Anyone who bats for them gets a free pass. But Trump so much as styles his toupee the wrong way and he’s accused of Russian collusion, white supremacy, and shilling for the patriarchy.

And the press wonders why people don’t take them seriously anymore…


BREAKING: Alfie Evans Given FOUR Drugs Just Before He Died

Posted: 01 May 2018 02:08 PM PDT

Alfie Evans given four drugs

Few things actually outrage me or get me riled up. But the Alfie Evans case actually drew rage. The government of the United Kingdom in concert with the NHS seemed to wish for the child’s swift death rather than allow him out of the country for treatment. Now there’s this report: little Alfie was given a cocktail of four drugs. Then he died.

UK toddler Alfie Evans allegedly died within hours of receiving four different drugs from a nurse at Alder Hey hospital, Italian media is reporting. The information that Alfie was given four injections has also been obtained by LifeSiteNews from two different sources with connections to the Evans family.

Alfie Evans died in Liverpool's Alder Hey children's hospital on Saturday morning at 2:30 AM. According to Italian newspaper La Nuova Bussola Quotidiana, a nurse entered the child's cubicle after his father Tom had been called aside and gave him four drugs. A source close to the family told LifeSiteNews that these were injections that were administered to Alfie after Tom had been summoned for an unusual middle-of-the-night meeting with the hospital. The child died two hours later.

Okay, note that none of us here are Ben Shapiro’s wife. But if you’re not feeling the back of your neck hairs standing up, check to make sure you’re human after all. Not a cylon toaster.

Alfie’s dad gets called away. A nurse enters Alfie’s room. Gives Alfie drugs. Two hours later, the kid is dead.

Alder Hey hospital doctors had previously conveyed to the Evans' family in a legal document how they intended to use a drug cocktail that included Midazolam and Fentanyl as part of Alfie's "end of life care plan." Side effects of the drugs included respiratory depression. Tom Evans called it an "execution plan" for his son.

Based on all I’ve seen of how the UK and the NHS treated Alfie Evans, I’m inclined to side with Alfie’s family here. Italy offered Alfie free treatment and free transport to Italy. The NHS, probably to protect their diagnosis and their reputation with still loyal, sycophantic Britons, wouldn’t let Alfie go. In my opinion.

UK Police told objecting Britons to STFU about Alfie’s treatment on social media. Alder Hey hospital even booted the priest looking after the Evans as that priest passed judgment on hospital staff for their sinful treatment of Alfie and his family. All evidence points toward the NHS wanting this poor child dead. So pardon me if I’m not surprised if this report has merit, and the hospital actually killed this child. “Allegedly.”

"To silence the press, the hospital promised Thomas more oxygen and more life-support," Frigerio continued. "Two hours before death, [Alfie's] oxygen saturation was at around 98, and Alfie's heartbeat was around 160, so Thomas was convinced that he would be allowed to go home (as the hospital administration had told him on Friday afternoon)."

However, it is alleged that the child's health declined rapidly after a nurse gave him four injections.

Remember Sarah Palin talking about death panels for socialized medicine, specifically in Obamacare? Uh huh.

Yeah, this sounds like it’s right out of a horror movie. It’s not the only case of euthanasia across the pond. Read Socialism: Belgium Psych Wards Are Now Euthanizing Mentally Ill Patients and Dutch Doctor Forcibly 'Euthanized' Elderly Patient. But it Gets Worse.


The REAL Problem With Michelle Wolf’s WHCD “Comedy”

Posted: 01 May 2018 01:43 PM PDT

The 2018 White House Correspondents Dinner has dominated headlines. Now the name “Michelle Wolf” is all over the place. If you don’t know who she is or why the left suddenly has their lips attached to her posterior, worry not. Crowder breaks down everything wrong with her “comedy set” in the video below.

Even MOAR examples of the death of comedy:

Those are just to name a few.

We’ll leave you with this question: take today's top comics, people who regardless of politics SHOULD be the most fun on the planet—would you feel comfortable attending a dinner party with them?


Kanye West and Charlamagne tha God Talk Trump, Obama

Posted: 01 May 2018 01:40 PM PDT

A lot of attention has been thrust upon Kanye West recently, for the nth time in his life. Ye has a way of covering himself in the limelight like Shaun King fervently lathers himself in spray tan. Given all the recent controversy over West’s refusal to kiss the left’s puckered anus (see Kanye West Releases Song Defending His Support of Donald Trump), this new interview piqued plenty of interest. The artist sat down with Charlamagne tha God to talk all things music, feuds, Yeezy shoes, and politics.

Because the interview is two hours long and many of you are gainfully employed, we’ve timestamped the video to start when Ye talks about Obama and Trump.

Yeezy: I would meet with [Trump] today and I would talk about Chicago.

CthaGod: You think he cares about black people?

This is where Kanye looks stumped. We never really get an answer in this interview. But he’s gone on to tweet Thomas Sowell quotes. He hasn’t walked back his support for including conservative voices in the conversation. Now, we’re also seeing more artists join the discussion on breaking from the mold of groupthink and political correctness (see Intentional or Not, Kanye West Just Exposed the Hateful, Leftist Thought-Police).

Kanye West doesn’t have all the answers. He’s not the next Thomas Sowell. We already have a Thomas Sowell, and we don’t need Kanye to agree with us on everything. That’s the point. We don’t all have to agree on everything. In leftist culture, words and ideas are policed by political correctness. But Kanye is open to learning and breaking rank. While the left scrambles to throw him under the “tolerant” bus (see Rapper Threatens Violence Against Kanye West for Supporting Donald Trump), more and more cultural leaders are following in his footsteps. Which is a definite marker of a cultural shift.

Watch Crowder discuss the subject in depth below.


University of Texas Views ‘Toxic Masculinity’ as Mental Health Problem

Posted: 01 May 2018 01:15 PM PDT


The left’s war on “toxic masculinity” rages on. In their latest shot at culturally castrating possessors of Y-chromosomes, lefty types are giving that awful, toxic manliness a new classification. A mental issue. For reals:

The Counseling and Mental Health Center at the University of Texas at Austin recently launched a new program to help male students "take control over their gender identity and develop a healthy sense of masculinity."

Treating masculinity as if it were a mental health crisis, "MasculinUT" is organized by the school's counseling staff and most recently organized a poster series encouraging students to develop a "healthy model of masculinity."

The program is predicated on a critique of so-called "restrictive masculinity." Men, the program argues, suffer when they are told to "act like a man" or when they are encouraged to fulfill traditional gender roles, such as being successful or the breadwinner.

What the university fails to mention is the left views all masculinity as toxic. God help you if you’re the type of gent who enjoys chomping on steaks, watching football, and leaving the toilet seat up. In UofT’s eye’s, you’re one chest bump away from a straight jacket. One nad scratch away from a padded room.

Leftists pull idiotic stunts like this, then they wonder why so many men are maladjusted. Methinks telling guys their innate characteristics are “problematic” is the culprit. Crazy as it may seem, not every peen-haver responds well to tucking his dangle and rocking a sundress. Some guys are just guys. Some ladies are just ladies and would prefer if men stayed men. Just as an aside.

Progressives think they can socially engineer masculinity out of existence, then remake it in their own image. Hence, classifying it as a “mental health issue.” Sorry lefties, you’re not going to convince us our eggs are scrambled. Try again.


Facebook Launches ‘Hate Speech’ Checker

Posted: 01 May 2018 12:58 PM PDT

Facebook Hate Check

You know how Netflix is where we go to binge? Facebook is where we go to cringe. Don’t make a face, stick with me for a second. Facebook is home to billions of selfie albums — 24 piece series’ wherein the subject tilts their head to a slightly different angle. This is why we call it the book of [embarrassingly puckered] faces. It’s also a place where you can go to read paragraphs of unsolicited opinions and watch 30-second cat videos from The Dodo.

Sometimes the political rants are a tad overkill. They get in the way of quality content like Yodel Boy memes. Fret not, sweet child. The Zucky Zuck hath delivered a new tool to help you navigate his social waters.

I present to you the hate speech button:

Facebook accidentally set a “hate speech” button live on its platform for a short period of time, a company spokesperson confirmed in a statement Tuesday. The button asked users: “Does this contain hate speech?”

The spokesperson said the company was conducting an “internal test” in an attempt to understand “different types of speech, including speech we thought would not be hate.” They said a bug caused the button to launch publicly but it has since been disabled.

The button showed up on all kinds of content. Even harmless posts like car ads and blessed kitty videos. Barging in unneeded like a paranoid mom. Mark Zuckerberg himself was subject to its keen eye.

The problem here is an obvious one. It’s asking users to define an ambiguous term for which there is no set definition. Some of us – not naming names – may even make use of it as a temporary dislike button. Overly edited selfies? Hate speech. Your baby learned how to crawl? Hate speech. Old pyramid-scheming classmate is offering his FB friends a once in a lifetime opportunity to be their own boss?

I’m slammin’ dat hate speech button, b*tch.

Hate speech is a subjective term. As Facebook is learning, asking billions of users “what offends you today?” isn’t a reliable guide to sniffing out inappropriate content. It’s why conservative videos which don’t break any rules get flagged on YouTube. Ahem.

This button is a symptom of Facebook’s hatred for diversity of opinion. The tech powers that be are proving themselves to be little more than internet thought police (see CENSORSHIP: Facebook, YouTube, Twitter Agree to Ban 'Hate Speech' in Europe). Thing is, these guys are just as fallible as the rest of us. Feast your eyes on the proof here. Their bias is consistent, yet they keep waving the banner of alleged political neutrality.

Facebook and friends enjoy huge influence over the internet. They largely control what content you can and cannot see. For a while now, we’ve been saying that’s a problem. Looks like the censorship chickens are coming home to roost.


‘Simpsons’ Creator Matt Groening Breaks Silence on Stupid Apu Controversy

Posted: 01 May 2018 12:52 PM PDT

Matt Goeing on Apu

When Hank Azaria showed what a giant walking scrotum he was (see Hank Azaria: Stepping Aside from Apu is "The Right Thing to Do" and The Simpson Tackles the Apu "Controversy," Angers the Internet), I thought he killed The Simpsons. Now that we’ve heard from creator Matt Groening, I feel better.

Question: Do you have any thoughts on the criticism of Apu as a stereotype?

Groening: Not really. I'm proud of what we do on the show. And I think it's a time in our culture where people love to pretend they're offended.

the simpsons

You know what, he’s right. People love to be offended. They love to feel self-righteous. They love to feel morally superior by being outraged over a thing. In this case, a cartoon stereotype in a cartoon filled with stereotypes. Kind of like walking into a Baskin Robbins and raging at the servers because the vanilla ice cream has dairy. Alas, this is real life in 2018.

The incoming leftist outrage destined for Groening is going to be delicious. Especially if Groening takes a cue from others higher up on the ladder: not apologizing to the trolling Twitter twits. I wanted to use a different vowel there.

I’m going to be inhaling the whiny think pieces from liberal bloggers like they’re ether.

In the April 8 episode, which addressed the Apu criticism and reignited controversy, what did it mean when Marge said, "Some things will be addressed at a later date," and Lisa said, "If at all"?

Groening: We'll let the show speak for itself.

I raise a giant Duff beer to you, Mr. Groening. Thank you for a return to sanity.


Vegan Woman Buys Ice Cream for Little Girl. Gets Chastised by Fellow Vegans.

Posted: 01 May 2018 10:37 AM PDT

Vegan Ice Cream

Here’s a touching little tale of a vegan lady who saw a little girl crying because she couldn’t afford an ice cream. Being a decent person and all, vegan lady offered the little gal a few bucks to score herself that cone. Which, unfortunately, landed her in hot water with the Soy Police:

Well, there’s something we’ve never seen before. A triggered vegan.


Even other vegans thought this guy was taking things a bit too far:

Which is when the vegan butthurt reached critical mass:

To hear this guy talk, you’d think farmers were slitting dairy cows’ throats and Breyer’s flows out. I won’t pretend to be an expert on matters of bovine mammary glands, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works. Even if it was that way, the cream of ice just tastes too good to pass up.

I bet this grass-fed soy boy is the type whose Prius is adorned with PETA bumper stickers, and he blasts Meat is Murder on repeat. He fills out his days lobbying for the Ninja Turtles to nix pizza while he grandstands to pet owners on how best to care for their companions. The finest tofurkey Whole Foods has to offer says I’m right. Though, in this guy’s defense, he seems less extreme than his vegan peers who ram chicken trucks.

You know, these vegans might not be so stuck up if they’d scarf down a few delightful strips of bacon. Though, that would require them to stop being pompous asses long enough to endure the meat section at the supermarket. Which is asking a lot of a person who rages on Twitter over Haagen Dazs having the audacity to exist.

Also, there’s nothing wrong with being generous to a young girl who wants an ice cream. The rage from some of these vegans are why we kind of hate raging vegans.

While we’re on the subject: