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Comedian Hilariously Nails What It’s Like To Be A Mom

Posted: 21 Jan 2019 07:57 AM PST

This comedian might actually be a mom because he completely nails it

Moms. You gotta love them. When you think back to all the seemingly ridiculous things our moms used to tell us, it’s a wonder any of us ever left the house. As a young adult, I purposely didn’t wait 20 minutes to swim after I ate (take that, mom) just to prove her wrong. But when we become moms, we end up spewing the same set of phrases we endured as children. One comedian captured pretty much all of them in one hilarious video and you have got to watch from beginning to end to fully appreciate its glory.

Trey Kennedy, a comedian who puts out some seriously hysterical videos online, recently came out with one poking fun at moms. Titled “Moms,” his video was an instant viral sensation because if you’re a mom or have a mom or have spent any amount of time around moms, you can’t help but laugh.

Kennedy starts off concerned his kid has “a couple 89’s” in his classes and immediately wants to know how those grades are going to get up (don’t worry, “mom” eventually emails the teachers directly). He then tries (and fails) to get his child up for school, beginning gently with promises of breakfast then eventually losing his shit because they won’t get out of bed. Basically, every single morning for most moms.

In between, he asks his kid a series of questions like, “How do I send an email attachment? Can someone call you on Instagram? How do I send a GIF (which he spells out, obviously)?”

Image via Facebook/Trey Kennedy

The entire video is funny because it’s true. We moms can’t help ourselves. We must give out advice, take pictures every 30 seconds, and warn our children about the dangers of diving boards, frigid temperatures, and what may happen to them if they leave out one more goddamn cup. I’m in my mid-forties and my mom just texted me because a hoodie “that looked like the one I was wearing weeks before” was being recalled because the string got stuck choked someone. No, I don’t believe that actually happened and yes, she likely lost sleep over thinking it was an actual possibility.

This is what the mental load looks like, people.

Kennedy also does an entire monologue about “dad’s snoring,” comparing it to, among other things: A wood chipper, a cat choking on a spoon, and a chihuahua getting caught in a garbage disposal.

Image via Facebook/Trey Kennedy

As the mom of two teens, I saw myself particularly when he was asking his kid about a recent pool party he attended. And by “ask” I mean peppered him with questions  about who attended (“name each person individually”), was Shelia’s mom there, and were the girls wearing appropriate swimming attire.

Listen, we don’t enjoy repeating ourselves 500 times but our kids have the attention span of a dung beetle and sometimes requires us to shout demands into the abyss until someone (anyone) grunts back. The passive-aggressiveness and constant needling just comes from a place of love, after all. Seriously though, we aren’t your maids. Pick your shit up.

The post Comedian Hilariously Nails What It’s Like To Be A Mom appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Kamala Harris Announces She Will Run For President In 2020

Posted: 21 Jan 2019 06:57 AM PST

Kamala Harris announced her 2020 presidential bid on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

We have yet another strong, qualified woman in the running for the Democratic nomination for the 2020 presidential election. Sen. Kamala Harris officially announced her intent to run today. She joins New York’s Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand and Hawaii’s Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, who have committed to running already, as well as Elizabeth Warren, who has formed an exploratory committee to look into a bid for the presidency.

Basically, 2020 is all about badass women, and we are here. For. It.

“I love my country. I love my country,” Harris said in her announcement speech, which she made on Good Morning America. “This is a moment in time that I feel a sense of responsibility to stand up and fight for the best of who we are.”

If Harris were to win, not only would she be the first female president in our country’s history; she would also be the first woman of color to hold the highest office.

In her speech, which was made on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, Harris gave a nod to the civil rights leader as someone who’s always inspired her politics.

“The thing about Dr. King that always inspires me is that he was aspirational. He was aspirational like our country is aspirational. We know that we’ve not yet reached those ideals. But our strength is that we fight to reach those ideals,” she said. “So today, the day we celebrate Dr. King, is a very special day for all of us as Americans and I’m honored to be able to make my announcement on the day we commemorate him.”

Harris also said she believed the American people are looking for a president with “leadership skills, experience and integrity,” and who will “fight on their behalf.”

“On all of those points, I feel very confident about my ability to lead,” she continued. “I feel very confident about my ability to listen and to work on behalf of the American public. The American public wants a fighter, and they want someone that is going to fight like heck for them and not fight based on self-interests. I’m prepared to do that.”

The announcement comes just a couple of weeks after Harris said in an interview that it was “too early” to say whether she was considering a presidential bid.

Harris has already made a name for herself as a progressive member of Congress who isn’t afraid to stand up to her opposition. She made that abundantly clear when she questioned Brett Kavanaugh during his confirmation hearings. She went straight for the tough questions and didn’t back down, and it was great to see Kavanaugh squirm.

Of course, this is America, so Kamala Harris, as a woman of color, has an uphill battle ahead. But she’s tough and qualified and that’s more than we can say for certain people who have managed to win elections.

The post Kamala Harris Announces She Will Run For President In 2020 appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Why I Stopped Saying ‘I’m Too Tired’

Posted: 20 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

"I am exhausted."

I think I say this multiple times a day without even realizing it. My sister now responds to my text, meme or gif with an eye roll and a reply of "You are always exhausted."

I am always exhausted.

At least that’s how I’ve felt the past nine years. I don't count the years before motherhood and EJ because frankly I didn't know what true exhaustion felt like.

But the past year and a half have been even more exhausting. I feel it so deeply that I am literally tired of being tired.

I have taken care of my sick father, watched him quickly fade, and then dealt with the unexpected loss and grief. I have changed jobs, taking on more responsibility as I refocus on my career and my own goals. I have packed up our home of five years and decluttered years of memorabilia, toys and junk. I have endlessly searched for a new home for us so we could settle into life in the city and out of the suburbs.

I have coordinated the schedule of an energetic nine-year old with ADHD. Appointments, school work, tutoring, playdates and basketball. I am often not sure what direction my car is headed. I have dealt with a car accident that thankfully left us unscathed but left me without my beloved car for months. A seemingly small inconvenience but with so much change, losing something else familiar was unnerving.

I am exhausted. We all are.

But I am tired of being tired.

I am tired of being too tired to write, even though I know the positive energy it gives me. I am tired of being too tired to recommit myself to a workout schedule that I know will give me the boost I need and make me feel less anxious. I am tired of being too tired to take a mental health day when I need to recharge my batteries. I am tired of being so tired that I often feel neglectful of my husband and child.

I am tired of being exhausted.

And so on this ridiculously cold day in January, I finally hit a tired wall.

I can no longer function this exhausted. I will pull on my leggings and go to the gym to run. I will stay up to talk to my husband and watch the movie we have been meaning to see for the past year or finally schedule that date night out. I will continue to write the book that has consumed my thoughts for five years but has been alloted very little of my time or energy. I will text friends I haven't seen in months and make actual plans. I will take the time to meal prep for myself and put effort into healthy eating.

I will stop being too exhausted. I will stop saying it and thinking it because all that does is make me feel like I can't do these things.

As mothers, as parents, we will never not feel tired. Maybe during retirement. But we can't let that exhaustion prevent us from living. From doing the things that give us energy, light, and happiness.

By pushing past the exhaustion, I know that committing myself to my overall health and wellbeing will only give me more energy for my family and the things that are important.

The post Why I Stopped Saying ‘I’m Too Tired’ appeared first on Scary Mommy.

The Unexpected Way Anxiety Makes It Hard To Enjoy Life Sometimes

Posted: 20 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

By all objective standards, this past Christmas was perfect. There wasn't too much stress preparing for the holiday—I'd purchased all of my gifts weeks before and kept the decorating as simple as possible. Somehow, even baking Christmas cookies and putting together the gingerbread house was tantrum-free.

And get this: my kids didn't even wake up at the crack of dawn on Christmas day. Everyone's mood was in a good, cheery place, and the kids were sweet and appreciative of their gifts.

I love everything about Christmas, and I took note of how lovely and warm and fuzzy everything felt. And yet, I have an anxiety disorder, and no matter what I do to keep my symptoms at bay, they come creeping up on me anytime they wish. In fact, I often notice that anxiety comes to rear its ugly head exactly when I am feeling most content and relaxed.

So, just as expected, there my anxiety was, sitting on my shoulder, ready to ruin my freaking awesome Christmas.

"Hey Wendy," it said. "You see those kids over there happily playing with their toys? You know one them is about to break out in a fever. The flu is going around and flu shots aren't 100% effective. Oh, and I bet the ER will be understaffed due to the holiday, so when your child starts having life-threatening symptoms—which they will—they will be less likely to survive on a night like tonight."

Merry Fucking Christmas.

There was no clear trigger for these totally irrational thoughts. The kids were fine; they had zero symptoms of illness. But awful things happening to my children or loved ones is one of my top anxieties, and my anxiety had decided it was a good time to come fuck with me.

When things are good, it's almost an invitation for my anxiety to come try to destroy it. "Oh, things are going well? That's exactly when the shit is going to hit the fan, Wendy."

I noticed pretty quickly that this shit was happening. But once anxiety starts, it's hard to get it stop. When I tried to tell my "what if your kids get the flu" anxiety to STFU, more thoughts started streaming in.

"What if the sink overflows? After all, that's what happened last Christmas," my anxiety reminded me. Another thing my anxiety does is replay past anxiety-inducing scenarios, promising they will be repeated. It's goddamn wonderful.

I actually have no clear idea why anxiety seems to come to me during even my most happy times. Maybe it's because some of my childhood traumas seemed to happen all of a sudden, during what felt like relatively stable times in my life. Maybe I'm just genetically pre-disposed to anxiety – after all, everyone in my family has it too. Maybe I don't get enough sleep or practice enough self-care. Maybe it's a combination of everything, all at once.

Whatever the cause, this phenomenon of anxiety coming up at exactly the times I am most at ease is awful, a self-destructive mind-fuck that I despise. And it's entirely unfair, too. Why won't anxiety just let me enjoy the goodness in my life?

The thing is, as my therapist would remind me, I'm an adult now, and have much more control of my life than I did as I child, when bad things actually did mess up the happy times. And even if things could theoretically fall apart at any time, there is no real point in contemplating it. When bad stuff happens, you just deal with it. You suffer through; you persevere.

I've seen myself do that time and again. I'm stronger than I know.

And you are too. There are so many of us who suffer with anxiety. When you tell someone that your anxiety manifests itself even in good times, it's hard for people to understand what you're talking about. Why don't you just go and enjoy your life? What, are you ungrateful for all you have?

Nope. It's just anxiety. And if you've experienced the kind of self-sabotage that anxiety sometimes produces, I know you know what I'm talking about. The thing is, you are not alone. Neither am I.

Anxiety really sucks, but help is out there (medication, therapy, mediation, whatever works for you) and once you recognize your patterns, it becomes easier to step out of the situation, see your anxiety for what it is, and tell it to fuck right off. It doesn't always work, but it's a start.

My plan (besides continually checking in with my therapist, whom I adore) is to be mindful of the fact that my anxiety likes to visit me during those good times. That way, maybe I can do a little mental preparation so that when it happens, I can ramp up my anxiety coping skills (breathing, going to another room to mediate) before things spiral out of control.

Anxiety is a strong fucking force, but so am I. And I don't have to let it rule my life.

The post The Unexpected Way Anxiety Makes It Hard To Enjoy Life Sometimes appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Le Creuset Just Released Its New Spring Line And Yes, It’s Gorgeous

Posted: 20 Jan 2019 10:23 AM PST

You’re gonna want to give your kitchen the Le Creuset treatment this spring

Sure, it’s only January — but who among us isn’t ready for spring? It’s like the people at Le Creuset read our minds because they’ve just released their new spring line. And the colors are to die for.

The spring colors are officially part of the “New Calm” line — and you’ll surely see why.

First up, merengue. This shade has the most Le Creuset products to offer — everything from their staple dutch oven to casserole dishes to spoon rests, this ivory shade is a sure match for anyone’s kitchen.

Image via LeCreuset.com

This color may not be as vivid as some of their other colors, but it goes perfectly with the soothing tones of their entire spring line. Their dutch ovens clock in at $380 (ugh, I know), and the casserole dish below is listed at $70.

Image via LeCreuset.com

The next springtime hue? Sea salt. Ah, just saying those two words gives off major beach vibes. Winter, shminter.

Image via LeCreuset.com

If there is a more soothing color than a sea-swept blue/green combo, I have yet to see it. Just pack this in my trunk and point me to the nearest beach house.

Image via LeCreuset.com

That’s not just any pepper grinder — that’s an ombre pepper grinder. Which may also be a nod to their official ombre line, released last year. Who knew kitchen cookware could be so dreamy? The salt and pepper mills are $38 each — a bit of an easier financial glide into the world of Le Creuset.

In case merengue or sea salt aren’t your thing (blasphemy), there are two other colors in their new springtime line. Like this ultra sigh-worthy coastal blue.

Image via LeCreuset.com

It’s airy, it’s welcoming, it’s the perfect shade of a spring or summer sky. It’s the perfect cookware for getting through this drab winter.

Image via LeCreuset.com

I mean, who wouldn’t want to fry eggs in a skillet the color of the sky? The skillet is priced at $170. This shade also offers the ombre salt shaker/pepper grinder combo, in case you’re wondering.

The final shade in the springtime selection is fig. It’s a great color to balance out the lighter, airier shades of spring found here. It’s also just really, really pretty.

Image via LeCreuset.com

A lovely violet-y shade with hints of warm brown, the fig line is the perfect complement to the rest of the items here. The braiser below is listed at $300.

Image via LeCreuset.com

It’s like the same color of a perfect glass of summer red wine, is it not? Mmm. This makes me want to cook up something delicious while sipping my favorite fruity cabernet, not gonna lie.

Le Creuset Just Released Its New Spring Line And Yes, It's Gorgeous

If you’re looking to boost your sagging winter spirits with some delightfully pretty cookware, Le Creuset delivers. As always, it’s a treat for the eyes and the kitchen.

The post Le Creuset Just Released Its New Spring Line And Yes, It’s Gorgeous appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Hot Topic Released A Polly Pocket Collection – It’s A 90’s Dream Come True

Posted: 20 Jan 2019 09:40 AM PST

Hot Topic released a Polly Pocket makeup line and it’s very, very dreamy

Alright, children of the 90’s, this one is for you and you alone. Hot Topic released a line of Polly Pocket makeup and accessories and it’s a nostalgic, pastel dream come true. After you snag all these cute compacts, you’re probably gonna want to dust off all your old Furbies too (they were only minorly annoying).

First up, we’ve got this ridiculously adorable eye shadow palette. It comes complete with 10 shades, which are matte and shimmer finishes. Also, there’s a little Polly Pocket hanging out in her pocket-sized house, which will make your haphazard, five-minute makeup mornings a little more cheerful.

Image via Hot Topic

Let Polly take care of your lip situation, as well. This heart-shaped palette comes with four matte lipstick shades and will definitely make you feel like writing all your crushes names in a spiral notebook.

Check out the application brush, too — ADORBS.

Image via Hot Topic

Nothing says the 90’s more than the signature pop-up hair brush. Bonus points that it’s bright purple and comes with a built-in mirror.

Image via Hot Topic

Thankfully, that’s not all. You can continue down this extremely nostalgic road by checking out the rest of the Polly Pocket apparel. Okay, I know Polly Pocket-themed clothing might raise some eyebrows – but this stuff is very, very cute.

Like, say hello to this quilted heart-shaped crossbody bag. The inside has a printed picture inside Polly’s house and it comes in a pretty blush pink quilted pattern. Sold.

Image via Hot Topic

Annnnd there’s a pretty adorable quilted pink wallet to match.

Image via Hot Topic

There’s also this Polly Pocket crossbody bag that looks like a purple-y lavender book and you should definitely add it to your new collection as well. Go big or go home.

Image via Hot Topic

Further cement your Polly status with this heart-shaped keychain. Warning: buying this will probably (definitely) give you the impulse to make a bunch of beaded friendship bracelets.

Image via Hot Topic

A world of pretty, pastel possibilities has officially been unlocked and I’m very much here for it.

Hot Topic Released A Polly Pocket Collection – It's A 90's Dream Come True

These are amazing because you can use any of these items for yourself, or share with your kids. And, let’s be honest, introducing our kids to stuff we loved as a kid is one of the best parts of parenting.

Now that we’ve all sufficiently re-entered the 90’s portal and are never going back – I have a few more suggestions. Namely, you should probably put on all your Polly Pocket eyeshadow, watch an episode of Boy Meets World and fire up some Oregon Trail on your CDROM. Life is about to get so, so good.

The post Hot Topic Released A Polly Pocket Collection – It’s A 90’s Dream Come True appeared first on Scary Mommy.