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Every Tired Parent Needs This Ridiculous Napping Hat

Posted: 07 Jan 2019 07:58 AM PST

You’re gonna want an OstrichPillow in every color

Every parent has moments of exhaustion at times (read: every single day). Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to drown out the noise of your kids, spouse, washing machine, pets, and basically anything in your home/car/office that makes any amount of noise? Well guess what folks, there is.

Behold the OstrichPillow — a 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea looking koala-type hat that you shove your head and hands into when you need a little snooze. And based on their Instagram page, it seems you can literally sleep anywhere with one of these things on.

Instagram Photo

According to their website, the idea was conceived in 2012, when “the world was suffering from a serious sleep deprivation.” To combat this, the creators decided to come with a device that “would allow people to rest where they wanted, when they wanted to,” personal pride be damned.

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Listen, if this thing is as good as the reviews on their site, you could plop a horse’s ass on my head and I’d try it.

Instagram Photo

We parents are constantly exhausted by mother/fatherhood. Most of us haven’t slept through the night in years (decades, even) and we are running on fumes most days. Wouldn’t it be nice to tuck into one of these puppies and take a quick 20 minutes (or two hours if you can spare it) to catch up on some much needed sleepy time?

I mean, look at this guy. He’s sleeping while riding a scooter! It’s a damn miracle.

Instagram Photo

The Ostrich Pillow is “lovingly hand made using a dreamily soft high quality combination of viscose and elastomer, together with the next generation coated microbead filling.” I don’t know what any of that means but it sounds dreamy.

Look at this person. Lights out and zero shits to give about what anyone thinks. This person is my hero.

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The pillow comes in several color options and retails on their site for $99, which is a small price to pay for some peace and quiet.

The post Every Tired Parent Needs This Ridiculous Napping Hat appeared first on Scary Mommy.

The Fiji Water Girl Photobombing Stars At The Golden Globes Is Your New Hero

Posted: 07 Jan 2019 07:00 AM PST

The Fiji Water Girl was the breakout star of the Golden Globes red carpet

Are the post-award show “best dressed” lists not really your cup of tea? That’s OK because what we have is so much better. During last night’s Golden Globes red carpet, a woman stood apart from the rest — and it wasn’t her designer duds that nabbed her all the attention. It was her extremely sly photobombing skills that resulted in her being included in countless snaps from the glitzy event.

Prepare to die laughing — and feel weirdly motivated? Because the Fiji Water Girl making bonus appearances in as many celeb pics as possible is your 2019 mood.

It seems this adorable model decided to shoot her shot and end up in as many red carpet pics as humanly possible — or it was all accidental. Either way, we’re loving this so much.

Check. Her. Out.

Image via Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for FIJI Water

No big deal. Just casually mugging while eventual Golden Globe winner Richard Madden poses for his red carpet moment. AHEM. Her red carpet moment. He just happened to be there.

Here she is in a photo with the literal Sexiest Man Alive. Just standing there. Casually slaying.

Image via Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for FIJI Water

Here she is letting If Beale Street Could Talk’s Kiki Layne have a slice of the spotlight.

Image via Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for FIJI Water

Just mega chill. Putting out the vibe.

Image via Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for FIJI Water

Camilla Belle thought she was posing for smoldering solo shots, but guess what? She’s literally right behind you, girl.

Image via Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for FIJI Water

Oh, icons Connie Britton and Judith Light? Sorry, we’ve only got eyes for Fiji Girl, even when she’s not purposely staring directly at the camera.

Image via Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for FIJI Water

Check out the stunning Amy Adams and her surprise co-star.

Image via Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for FIJI Water

And Cody Fern posing with Richard Madden. And Fiji Water Girl. This will literally never get old.

Image via Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for FIJI Water

Fiji Water was a sponsor for the Globes, so this event was obviously totally engineered to get their product into the limelight. HOWEVAH — please note that there were several Fiji Water models milling about the carpet last night. But only one managed to snag herself a spot in countless celeb photos.

Image via Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for FIJI Water

FYI, her name is Kelleth Cuthbert, and we’re pretty sure this is far from the last we’ll see of her.

Instagram Photo

For their part, Fiji Water was only too happy to join in on the viral fun of Cuthbert’s photobombing star turn.

Sometimes, red carpet photo ops can be stuffy and boring. Let’s hope Fiji Water Girl has paved the way for more heroes to make things a lot more fun and interesting on awards show nights.

The post The Fiji Water Girl Photobombing Stars At The Golden Globes Is Your New Hero appeared first on Scary Mommy.

This Is What Makes A True Partnership

Posted: 06 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

I'm writing this from my bed, because my kids gave me some horrible illness. Typically, I power through, like all mothers do, because we don't have time to be sick. You take a couple Ibuprofen, drink some coffee, and pray you don't die. Well, that's what I normally do anyway, but this time there was no powering through. I tried.

So, I've been confined to my bed, but it's not near as glorious as it sounds, because I feel like my head might explode and I can hear my kids actively destroying my house. My husband is manning the fort alone. Typically, when a mom is down for the count, everything grinds to a screeching halt. Dishes and laundry pile up, toys are left in walkways, and everyone eats cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. As soon as you're able to, most times not fully recovered, you hobble out of the fog and into an absurd amount of "back-log."

I've been married for over ten years, have two children and two full-time jobs. I genuinely don't have time to be sick. I need to seriously rebalance my life, and I'm working on that, but for the time being, I need every moment in the day to keep the wheels turning. My husband knows this. He sees me frantically scrambling at the end of the day to get things done, and every time he jumps in to help.

Because of my hectic schedule, my compulsive need to do all the things, and his fierce support of me, he has been my knight in shining armor more times than I can count. And let me just say, everyone deserves a partner like him—someone who steps up to the plate and helps shoulder the responsibilities of life, no matter what the circumstance. There are no expectations, no need for explanation, he is just there.

I'm not the kind of woman who likes to be rescued. In fact, I'm independent to a fault. I have a hard time asking for help, and by hard time, I mean, it's highly unlikely I will ask for help, even when I'm drowning. But having an equal partner means I don't need to ask for help. He's there when I'm feeling overwhelmed, or in this case, sick and dying in bed. He does the dishes, the laundry, and keeps the kids from killing each other—just like I do. When I'm not there, he is.

He knows I'm an anxious mess who is completely triggered by chaos and clutter, so while I’m sick in bed, he’s out there picking up toys and straightening sofa pillows, so when I return to the land of the living, my only focus will be feeling better. I won’t need to catch up on everything that didn't get done in my absence. I don't have to worry about over-flowing laundry baskets, a sink full of dishes, or the house being left in shambles by unruly children, because my guy is there, taking care of business.

For a girl like me, this is better than flowers, coffee, and 2 hours of alone time at Target. My husband and I are partners in every way, true equals. I don't need to ask him to do the laundry when I can't, because it's a shared responsibility, same with dishes, cleaning the house, paying the bills, and raising children. These are our responsibilities, and we have each other's back through all of them. We literally do life together.

The balance of responsibility looks a little different for every couple, but what really matters is that each person feels supported, no matter what the roles look like—you are equals.

I tell my husband constantly how grateful I am for everything he is and everything he does. He's probably sick of hearing it, honestly, but it's important to me that he knows, because from my experience he's a damn unicorn. I know how good I've got it. Having an equal partner in all this is the kind of love and support that everyone deserves.

The post This Is What Makes A True Partnership appeared first on Scary Mommy.

10 Ways To Really Help A Friend Who’s Caring For A Sick Parent

Posted: 06 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

When a person you love deeply is slipping away, it is a struggle to not feel like you are dying right along with them.

My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's five years ago, at the age of 59. She and my dad decided the best way to keep me from shattering was to not tell me. They simply brushed off my confusion about the jumbled email Mom sent me on my 35th birthday and the nonsensical text messages that pinged me hours past her normal bedtime. When they finally shared her diagnosis, I was thrust into a dizzying world where I struggled to understand how to be a loving and supportive daughter to my nervous and disoriented mom and my terrified and heartbroken dad, while simultaneously keeping up with my 50-hour-per-week job and raising my three kids under 4.

As the reality of Mom's condition sunk in, my life became a balance between wanting to know every detail of each misfiring neuron and being too scared to Google even the most basic information about Alzheimer's Disease because the concept of prognosis speaks in percentages and odds. And she is not just a percentage of a person. She's not 5% nor 1 in 10 nor "most" — she's a complete woman, who raised me from the time she married my Dad when I was 12 years old. She is my whole mom, not a fraction nor a statistic, and there is nothing to be gained by fear.

What was more alarming to me since I found out that some sort of plaque has been creeping along the outside of my mom's brain, stealing her away from me little by little, was the accidental ignorance with which my friends (and some family) approached me as they reached out in support.

I don't fault the people in my life whose words have made me cry uncontrollably in the car the second I pulled away from their houses. I don't think negatively of the family members who, while trying to dull the pain, have said things which have instead twisted the knife so violently that I've had to pretend to use the bathroom just to catch my breath. I've mastered the art of averting my gaze and changing the subject when I haven't had the courage to say I couldn't give them an update on my dying mother in a crowded kitchen at a child's birthday party. But I owe the people in my life more than that. My friends would crawl across broken glass for me. My family would do anything to take this pain away. As badly as they want to support me, it's not fair to any of us to pretend that my friends' well-intentioned words aren't sometimes making it harder for me to survive the death of my mother's mind and then body.

So I wrote the list below, in hopes that someone who loves someone who loves someone with Alzheimer's or non-Alzheimer's dementia would read it and gain insight as to how to best support the person s/he loves.

1. Don't ask a bunch of medical questions about my loved one's condition.

That's what Google is for. Many caregivers don't want to know all the scary statistics and purposely don't read up on all of the science behind the disease. When I'm asked a medical question that I don't know the answer to, I feel guilty for not having done some imaginary due diligence. I feel like I could somehow save her life, if only I'd bother to learn the technical reason she can't say simple words or remember our conversation from three minutes ago.

2. Don't tell me about the latest miracle cure.

I'm borderline okay with you sending me an article about breakthrough discoveries of certain genes, but I'm not putting my faith in Dr. Oz, the essential oils you just started selling, nor the revolutionary purple root powder you saw in an ad at the back of Reader's Digest.

3. Do tell me happy stories about my mom, things you love about her, or funny jokes she recently told you.

I'm clinging to normalcy right now. I'm basking in gratitude for her moments of lucidity. I'm longing to hold onto memories of her which bring me joy. Help me to believe that her legacy will be positive and beautiful and important.

4. Don't "prove" to me that she is sick by telling me about the Alzheimer's-y thing she did or said.

I know she probably didn't recognize you even though she has met you ten times. If you're telling me because you think it's cute, it's not. If you're telling me because it made you sad, then I'm truly sorry you are hurting, but I'd really appreciate it if you could process your pain through discussion with a person who isn't me.

5. Do give me a hug for no reason.

No-reason hugs are pretty awesome, and I can't think of a time that I didn't appreciate one I got.

6. Don't ask me how Mom is doing when you just asked me five days ago.

I sometimes go a week or two without talking to her or my dad (for both simple and complicated reasons). If I gave you an update on Tuesday and you ask me again on Sunday, I feel guilty admitting that I haven't spoken with her since the last time you asked. (Obviously if she were much sicker/closer to the end of her life, where her condition would constantly be changing, this wouldn't apply. But Mom's health is otherwise good, so there often isn't a lot of measurable change from one week to the next.)

7. Do ask me, "How are you feeling?"

It's a much more inviting and supportive question than "How are you?" and gives me low-key permission to answer you honestly with the state of my heart in that moment. I appreciate getting asked this by loved ones who know I'm in a grieved state about my mom because it also allows me to vent about work or my kids or the woman with 16 items in the express check-out line with whom I'm still irrationally angry. I sometimes feel selfish for being overwhelmed with the stressful or sad parts of my life which are difficult, separate from my Mom's condition.

8. Don't try to one-up me by comparing Alzheimer's to any other disease.

All diseases suck in their own right. There is nothing comforting in "At least it's not X, Y or Z." And for the love of all things holy, please don't point out anything that you perceive to be an "upside" of memory loss. There is literally nothing positive about it. Side Note: Don't minimize her diagnosis by assuring me that you, too, misplace your keys or can't remember people's names. I'm 100% sure she has Alzheimer's and you are not proving me wrong with your claim that her "forgetfulness" is common. (You are also only going to make me mad when you joke that you must have it too for the reasons listed above; if you are genuinely concerned, please make an appointment with your PCP.)

9. Do ask what I need.

One of my BFF's, when someone is in pain asks, "What can I do to make you feel supported?" It may sound cheesy, but it's genuinely the best thing you can ask a person who feels like they're dying of a broken heart. Some days I might answer, "Nothing, I'm feeling okay in this moment." Some days I might ask you to pick up my dry cleaning because between meeting my parents at a neurology appointment, buying Christmas gifts for my three kids' teachers, and sitting in my car in a deserted parking lot, sobbing to LeAnne Rimes' "Please Remember," it's the one errand I can't pull off.

10. Go easy on me.

Maybe something I put in this list seemed insensitive or selfish. Maybe I was judgmental of someone when I shouldn't have been. Maybe I snapped at you for something dumb. There are some days I am a pillar of strength and I'm seamlessly juggling the responsibilities and pain of my life. There are other days I give my kids Cinnamon Toast Crunch for lunch AND dinner plus four hours of screen time because I don't have the strength to get out of bed. I'm doing my best to keep myself and my family alive while trying to be the best daughter I can be to a woman who, sometimes, looks right through me when I talk to her. The woman who cannot remember the names of my young children, who were born as she squeezed my hand and whispered encouragement. The woman who will soon not know my name when I hold her.

I'm going to hold her anyway. I'm going to love the hell out of her, not until she takes her last breath, but until I take mine.

And while I struggle to figure out how to be the daughter she needs (because I will never be as perfect as the daughter she deserves), I love deeply the friends and family who are holding me up as I hold her.

The post 10 Ways To Really Help A Friend Who’s Caring For A Sick Parent appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Drake Kisses And Fondles Underage Girl In Disgusting Resurfaced Video

Posted: 06 Jan 2019 09:23 AM PST

Time to add Drake to the long list of male entertainers who’ve engaged in sexual misconduct

In the wake of the #MeToo Movement, as women around the world are speaking up about the sexual misconduct of powerful men, looks like time’s up for rapper Drake. A video from a past tour that recently resurfaced shows the performer kissing and fondling a 17-year-old girl on stage, even after she discloses her very young age.

It is, to say the least, totally gross and uncomfortable to watch.

The video opens with Drake touching and kissing the girl’s back and then reaching around to touch her breasts.

“Y’all going to have me getting carried away again – I get in trouble for shit like this,” he says to the audience. Then he turns to the girl and asks,  “How old are you?”

“17,” she answers, as the crowd goes crazy.

“I can’t go to jail yet man! Seventeen? Why do you look like that? You thick! Look at all this! Well, I had fun. I don't know whether I should feel guilty or not, but I had fun. I like the way your breasts feel against my chest. I just want to thank you.”

He then takes her hands in his, kisses them, then kisses her cheeks, forehead and lips before she’s guided off stage.

According to The Daily Beast, the video is from an old tour, but the implications that it has for Drake, and the music business, are serious today. The reaction on social media so far has been a mix of disgust, disappointment, and anger – both toward the entertainer and toward the crowd, which seemed to egg him on and cheer.

Others were quick to point out that Drake has a sketchy history with other underage and barely legal girls. Last fall, the star was rumored to be dating the just-turned-18 model Bella Harris, who some say he’d been “grooming” since she was 16. 

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He was also called out last fall for inappropriate contact with 14-year-old Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown, who said the pair texted about “boys” and that he texted her, “I miss you so much.”

Many Twitter responses were simply, “We got him,” also implying that his time might have been coming.

The video surfaced just a day after a Lifetime documentary series, Surviving R. Kelly aired its shocking finale, in which the R&B singer is accused of dozens of illegal acts with underaged women, from statutory rape to kidnapping.

Drake has yet to respond to the video.

The post Drake Kisses And Fondles Underage Girl In Disgusting Resurfaced Video appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Honors Mom In A Letter Guaranteed To Make You Cry

Posted: 06 Jan 2019 09:12 AM PST

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s wrote the most beautiful thank you note to her supporters

Can we all just agree that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez officially wins the internet? She breaks down policies while eating mac and cheese on Instagram stories. She eloquently and fiercely hits back at her (extremely harsh) critics on Twitter. And she posted the most incredible, inspiring thank you note to her supporters that will make you cry so many happy tears.

Ocasio-Cortez took to Instagram to share a picture of herself being sworn into Congress, alongside her mother. “What can I possibly say except thank you?” she began. “So many people sacrificed so much for this to happen – my mother most of all.”

The youngest congresswoman in history detailed the immense struggles that her mom faced while raising her family.

“Mami mopped floors, drove school buses, + answered phones,” Ocasio-Cortez wrote. “She did whatever she needed to do, for me. When my father died, she was left a single mother of 2, and again she had to start over. After he passed we almost lost our home, so we sold it and started over. & over. & over.”

Instagram Photo

The family reached a point where everything in life felt hopeless – there were so many “do-overs” and they felt “too spiritually spent.” Ocasio-Cortez was working as a waitress and starting to feel as if she didn’t have much of a future. Once, she fell asleep on the train and a thief stole all of her earnings.

“That day I locked myself in a room and cried deep: I had nothing left to give, or to be,” she wrote. “And that's when I started over. I honestly thought as a 28 year old waitress I was too late; that the train of my fulfilled potential had left the station.”

But it definitely, definitely wasn’t too late. Ocasio-Cortez wrote about the powerful, incredible moment when she was sworn into congress, alongside her mother who had struggled so hard for her.

“As I raised my hand for the oath, my mother held the holy book & looked into @SpeakerPelosi's eyes,” she recalled. “Afterwards, the Speaker said to her ‘you must be so proud,’ and my mother began to cry.”

Watch that moment for yourself, and feel all the good, warm feelings.

Ocasio-Cortez noted that in order to succeed, we all need to lean on each other for support. “It was not long ago that our family's hope was so dim it was barely an ember,” she said. “Darkness taught me transformation cannot solely be an individual pursuit, but also a community trust.”

So, really, she just wanted to thank every single person for helping her through this long, difficult journey.

“Whether it was late nights, hard days, pocket change, emotional investment, hard & soft skills, door knocking in the heat or petitioning in the bitter cold – we did this together,” Ocasio-Cortez concluded.

The post Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Honors Mom In A Letter Guaranteed To Make You Cry appeared first on Scary Mommy.