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Man Caught On Camera Licking Doorbell For 3 Hours And The Internet’s Losing It

Posted: 09 Jan 2019 07:47 AM PST

California man caught on home security camera licking a doorbell for three hours

You know times are tough when people are positively delighted to hear that a man spent three hours in the dark licking a stranger’s doorbell — and that it was caught on video.

PS — “licking a doorbell” is not a euphemism in this totally weird story.

The A&E series Live PD shared the extremely WTF footage of suspect Roberto Daniel Arroyo literally licking a damn doorbell — for three hours.

Arroyo came upon the Salina, CA home in the early morning hours and apparently had some…urges? Let’s just get straight to the point — the dude was seductively licking a doorbell, staring right into the camera, and we have no idea why. But we do know that it caused a complete avalanche of amazing Facebook comments.

First, there was this timely remark.

But a few folks were just feeling a bit thirsty.

OK, this is going too far, we’ve had enough interneting for one day.

It produced a few solid dad jokes, though.

And an enterprising wife weighed in.


WHY.

The future has truly robbed us of so much.

I just…I give up.

Homeowner Sylvia Dungan posted her own reaction about the hilarious, if disturbing, footage to her Twitter account.

“We had just installed our Ring doorbell just less than a month ago. It paid off. Our home is the doorbell that was featured on #LivePD, 1/05/19 episode. So funny. It was great. Should I remove my sign (over perp's right shoulder)? I'm embarrassed for his family,” she writes.

She shared a few videos of him doing other weird stuff during his time spent at their home along with a note about how the family was initially upset, but soon came to see the humor in the odd situation. KION News also reports that the man spent some time urinating on the family’s property. Lovely.

Like, what the entire hell is going on here?

We may never know, but the comments will forever live in gloriously hilarious infamy.

Man Caught On Camera Licking Doorbell For 3 Hours And The Internet's Losing It

The post Man Caught On Camera Licking Doorbell For 3 Hours And The Internet’s Losing It appeared first on Scary Mommy.

‘The Wizard Of Oz’ Is Returning To Theaters — Be Still Our Nostalgia-Loving Hearts

Posted: 09 Jan 2019 06:35 AM PST

Now everyone can be ‘off to see the wizard’ in theaters — this month only

No matter how old you are, The Wizard of Oz probably played a significant role in your childhood movie experience. Now, your entire family can take it in together the way it was meant to be enjoyed — at the movie theater.

As part of Turner Classic Movies’ “Big Screen Classics” series for 2019, fans of all ages will be able to enjoy watching Dorothy’s adventures in Oz with the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion as they race against the Wicked Witch of the West to see the “man behind the curtain” in Emerald City.

'The Wizard Of Oz' Is Returning To Theaters -- Be Still Our Nostalgia-Loving Hearts

The Wizard of Oz was first released in 1939, which means it’s celebrating its 80th anniversary this year! What’s truly crazy about that is I remember my parents recording the 50th anniversary (which was broadcast on network television and hosted by Angela Lansbury) back in 1989 on the VCR. Remember those? LOL.

Now my own daughter is the same age I was back then, and you bet your ruby slippers I’ll be taking her to the theater to celebrate our favorite movie. Which is why its return to theaters is special for so many of us — it’s one of those movies that brings the whole family together, old and young, because it’s just universally beloved.

'The Wizard Of Oz' Is Returning To Theaters -- Be Still Our Nostalgia-Loving Hearts

Now make note of these dates, because The Wizard of Oz will only be in theaters for three days: Sunday, Jan. 27; Tuesday, Jan. 29, and Wednesday, Jan. 30. Each screening will include commentary before and after the film, with special movie insights by TCM Primetime host Ben Mankiewicz. (I’m sure Mr. Mankiewicz is delightful, but he’s no Angela Lansbury if you ask me.)

To see if your local theater is participating in this special, nostalgic event, head on over to the Fathom Events website and plug in your zip code. Then tap your heels together three times, which might not help anything, but sure does feel right.

'The Wizard Of Oz' Is Returning To Theaters -- Be Still Our Nostalgia-Loving Hearts

The post ‘The Wizard Of Oz’ Is Returning To Theaters — Be Still Our Nostalgia-Loving Hearts appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Why Having An Absentee Father For An Ex Was A Blessing In Disguise

Posted: 08 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

The day that I found out I was pregnant with my first child was the day I knew things were not going to work out between my ex and me. I went to work that day like normal. By lunchtime, a colleague had taken me to the ER after I had doubled over with stomach pains during a meeting. One pee test later, and the doctor informed me that the culprit was an unexpected pregnancy. As I waited for ultrasound results that eventually showed I was about six weeks along, I called my boyfriend to tell him the news. He responded by asking if I thought he should come to the hospital.

I don’t know. Your girlfriend just found out she is pregnant and is in the emergency room. What do you think?

I didn’t say that, though. I decided to leave it up to him to make the decision. Since my cousin was already at the hospital with me, he decided that he didn’t need to come. After all, he would have had to cross over the bridge, and by that time, it was just about rush hour. He’d check on me later when I got home. That response is how I knew he wasn’t “the one.”

Since I was pregnant, I knew it wasn’t going to be a clean break. I was not looking forward to being a single mom and co-parenting, but I realized that any decisions I’d be making moving forward would be done with my child’s best interest in mind first and foremost. We would work together to give the baby everything she needed. That didn’t mean we had to be in a romantic relationship.

The pregnancy was tough, and my ex’s presence was hit-or-miss. He came around when he wanted to and disappeared when he had better things to do. Once my daughter was born, he continued to be inconsistent. I wanted to cut him off completely but didn’t want my daughter to suffer by not knowing her father.

Although he only saw her occasionally, when she was an infant, he did see her. But after her first birthday, it became once or twice every few months. He wasn’t paying child support, and he stopped checking in to see how she was doing.

In fact, once when she was sick, he left my house to pick up medicine for her and never returned. I didn’t hear back from him again until a month later.

Yep, my child’s father was a bonafide deadbeat dad.

But that ended up being one of the biggest blessings in my life, and here’s why.

Dating wasn’t something that was on my mind at all, but fate led me to my now husband at a work conference. He and I met the first night and spent the next couple of days getting to know each other. Something about him was different, and I was instantly attracted to his laid-back personality. We dated long distance for two years. Then I packed up my toddler daughter and moved from Philadelphia to California to be with him.

My uninvolved ex didn’t contest the move at all. He wouldn’t have had a case if he tried anyway. He wasn’t doing anything to take care of my daughter, and he knew it. Although he vowed to be a better father and stay in touch with my daughter when we moved, he didn’t even see her before we left for the airport. Meanwhile, on the other side of the country, I was engaged within six months of relocating, and I was married six months after that.

A few days after our honeymoon, my new husband came home with adoption paperwork. He had been taking care of my daughter and wanted to make it official. I knew my ex wouldn’t care. We had only heard from him once since the move. The problem was, he wouldn’t answer my calls or fill out the paperwork for relinquishing his parental rights that I’d sent to his house.

Then one day, his deadbeat tendencies started to work in my favor. After two years of not paying child support, the state finally issued a warrant for his arrest, and shortly thereafter he relinquished his parental rights.

My daughter is 9 years old now. She knows she was adopted, but has never asked me about her biological father. She loves her forever daddy, and I’m grateful that I don’t have to spend my life explaining my ex’s absence at birthday parties and other special events. I don’t have to share her at holidays or during the summer and worry whether she's being cared for.

We didn’t have to get his permission to get her a passport, and I didn’t have to ask if I could take her out of the country on her first international trip this spring.

That day years ago when I first discovered I was pregnant, I never would have imagined that having a deadbeat for my child’s father would end up working out in the end. I’d say I owe him one, but he never did pay that back child support, so we’ll just call it even.

The post Why Having An Absentee Father For An Ex Was A Blessing In Disguise appeared first on Scary Mommy.

How Comments During My Childhood Impacted My Body Image In Adulthood

Posted: 08 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

Fat. That has been a swear word in my vocabulary for as long as I can remember. As a somewhat chubby kid, I can remember an aunt saying to me, in my kitchen, "Only plain turkey, nothing else, that's all you can eat." And I managed to squeak out, What about mustard? And she curtly replied, no. Her obvious opinion that my body needed changing has never left me. I was a child.

As an early teen, I can remember a creepy male family member saying to me, "You need to lose weight, everyone thinks so." I was 5'5 and 140-150 pounds. Not a stick by any means, but not the morbidly obese person they apparently saw when they looked at me. They saw something that needed changing. I was a child.

At the prom, when I wore a dress that accentuated my curves and made my waist look tiny, I was told "You look beautiful, your waist looks so small." I was more than inches on my waist.

A couple of years later at a wedding, I knew I had gained weight. By then it was ingrained in me that fat = failure. No one said anything, but my inner dialogue said it all anyway. I was more than inches on my waist.

When I went off to college, I was told, Be careful. You'll gain the freshman 15. I gained probably the freshman 25, but I made friends, got good grades, found my way. I was more than a number.

I started dating someone who would become the love of my life. I lost weight, but he loved me before that. He saw me for me. I was more than a number.

When I looked thin, my family would say, “Wow, you look great, keep it up, don't stop." If I didn't look thin, they said nothing. I had thoughts, opinions, feelings. Their silence said I was fat and nothing more. I was more than a number.

My body has given birth four times to healthy, fat babies. I chose to see their fat as a celebration of their health. A celebration that my body nourished them for 9 months, pushed them out, brought four people into this world. My body was strong.

My body nursed four babies, kept them fed, warm, and thriving. These breasts that I wish were smaller, perkier, higher, kept four children alive. My body was strong.

My body held my husband as we danced on our wedding day. My hands held his as a promise to always be there for each other. Even when we fantasize about shoving the other in a wood chipper. My body made promises.

My hands held my husband’s head as he cried from PTSD. As the stories poured out of him, my hands healed him and showed him I’ll never let go. My body made promises.

My hands and arms held on to my father for dear life, knowing it would be the last time I would get that privilege. My voice sang to him and my eyes showed tears that I feared would never stop. My body showed love.

My legs have run after my children when they're hurt, they've pedaled a bike and played soccer. Kicked in the ocean and taken walks. My body IS strong.

My husband tells me I'm beautiful every day. I wish I could see myself through his eyes. To be able to look past every wrinkle, every dimple and imperfection, and just see beauty. What a gift that would be. My body is loved.

My mind is smart, my voice is bad, my eyes twinkle, and my arms hug. My hands cheer you in your victories and hold you in your sorrows. Can my life be measured by the size of my jeans? Will I be happier at a size 14 instead of a size 16, then a size 12? Then what? When do we get to choose happiness?

My New Year’s resolution is to choose happiness now. I will get stronger. I will always aim for healthier. But my body is so much more than cellulite and a "muffin top." My body has done so much in the 40 years it's been here. My ears have listened to amazing music. My eyes have seen beautiful waterfalls, mountains, the smiles of people I love. My hands have felt the softness of my baby's skin, the coldness of a new snow, the heat of the summer, the crispness of fall.

My heart has been blessed more times than I can count. And it's been hurt that many times too. Lessons are part of life. My body has been there for me, through all the beautiful moments and all the bad. It's taken me 40 years to appreciate it. But I'm finally there. My body is strong.

The post How Comments During My Childhood Impacted My Body Image In Adulthood appeared first on Scary Mommy.

How More Intervention Meant More Freedom For My Son

Posted: 08 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

Sometimes, as paradoxical as it sounds, more intervention means more freedom.

When my son, Charlie, was three, I walked into his special needs preschool one breezy spring afternoon to pick him up after his physical therapy as per usual. Except nothing about this moment was usual. When I rounded the corner to his class, I glimpsed his back, his curling blond hair, his little hands resting on the arms of an impossibly small black wheelchair. I hadn't known they even made wheelchairs that small. But there it was and there he was. He looked comfortable. He looked happy. His therapist pivoted him towards me and he grinned and my heart lifted.

This, I told myself, was it. This would bring the freedom we'd been hoping for. With wheels of his own, he could navigate the halls and the stations of his classroom: kitchen set, science set, puzzles, books — the world was his for the choosing.

And he did roll. Sort of. He wheeled a few feet when no one was looking. Or, because he preferred using his left hand rather than both, he turned in slow circles…a graceful solo dance. And in this way, the years passed. We waited for the proficiency we were sure was right around the corner. We moved from this trial wheelchair to his own, specially designed for him. We practiced in the driveway and our cul-de-sac. We practiced in our church atrium. We practiced in the corridors of the mall, before the stores open, when the halls felt like empty runways waiting for take-off. Except he never did take off. Not really. He half-heartedly rolled this way and that, but it never became intentional or natural or easy. By the time he was six, he had almost stopped trying altogether, content to be pushed by an adult or a classmate or his siblings.

Except Charlie wasn't really content and I knew it. He wanted to go places, but had long ago assumed it would have to be under someone else's power. I refused to make such assumptions. And so, on a similar spring day, with kindergarten looming, I walked into his preschool once more to watch him try out a power chair. It was black and purple and retro chic, as much as a three-hundred-pound motorized wheelchair can be retro chic.

And at first it was like watching the world's worst game of Pac-Man. He would push the gearshift and steer himself directly into a wall or a corner or, hilariously, a closet. Reverse was tricky and made me wish for the warning beeps installed in buses and garbage trucks.

Stay on the cautious end of optimistic, I told myself. Better not get your hopes us, as you did with the manual chair, in case it doesn't work out. 

But something was different now. And it wasn't all in my head. He did progress. And when he took that great leap off the diving board into kindergarten, he did find his own in that purple and black retro chair. He is now confident, to the point of obstinacy, in his ability to get himself where he needs to go. No, he's not perfect at this driving business quite yet, but he's getting there under his own power.

I know more medical equipment — more assistive technology, more therapy — can feel like a step back, a reverse on the milestones, when all you want to do is leap forward. But it can also be the leap. You never know when that one thing can create a door for your child where you once only saw a dead end.

The post How More Intervention Meant More Freedom For My Son appeared first on Scary Mommy.

There’s Going To Be A Live-Action Barbie Movie Starring Margot Robbie

Posted: 08 Jan 2019 01:06 PM PST

Robbie will also produce the film — because everyone knows Barbie’s had a number of careers

After media giant Warner Bros. and toy giant Mattel officially closed the deal today, it’s official that Margot Robbie will be starring in a live-action Barbie movie to be released sometime next year. Yes, we’ve always heard that an actual human being could never have Barbie’s crazy proportions and live to tell the tale, but Robbie probably comes pretty close.

"Playing with Barbie promotes confidence, curiosity and communication throughout a child's journey to self-discovery. Over the brand's almost 60 years, Barbie has empowered kids to imagine themselves in aspirational roles from a princess to president," Robbie said. "I'm so honored to take on this role and produce a film that I believe will have a tremendously positive impact on children and audiences worldwide. I can't imagine better partners than Warner Bros and Mattel to bring this film to the big screen."

And we can’t really think of anyone who looks more like Barbie right now.

Instagram Photo

The move comes after over a decade of failed attempts by Mattel to make Barbie into a movie franchise, as competitor Hasbro Inc. has been extremely successful with film versions of their My Little Pony and Transformer toy lines.  It also comes after Mattel made a new film division to concentrate on moviemaking apart from toy making.

Robbie is coming off of a hugely successful portrayal of Tonya Harding in the indie biopic hit I, Tonya, which landed her an Oscar nomination (and which she also produced). She will shoot a new Harley Quinn film, Birds of Prey, next month, before beginning her stint as a life-sized doll.

"Barbie is one of the most iconic franchises in the world and we are excited to partner with Warner Bros. Pictures and Margot Robbie to bring her to life on the big screen," said Ynon Kreiz, chairman and CEO of Mattel. We look forward to building on this collaboration with Warner Bros. Pictures as we tell the stories of our beloved brands. Mattel Films is on a path to demonstrate the enormous potential of our brand portfolio, as we continue to execute on our strategy of transforming Mattel into an IP-driven, high performing toy company."

Mattel has battled for over a decade to keep Barbie popular and relevant in a world where parents sometimes see the doll as promoting impossible standards and perfectionism. A new line of Barbies that aren’t blonde and thin with huge boobs has helped, but the company has long wished for more avenues for improving the brand’s current image.

In 2017, a Barbie movie starring comedian Amy Schumer was scrapped after it struggled to get off the ground.

Reactions to the announcements were mixed — sometimes even within in the same tweet – and that sounds about right.

TBH, we’re pretty pumped about it. Come on Barbie, let’s go party.

There's Going To Be A Live-Action Barbie Movie Starring Margot Robbie

No word on who will play Ken yet, but we have our list. And we’re sure you do, too. Chris Pine, maybe?

The post There’s Going To Be A Live-Action Barbie Movie Starring Margot Robbie appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Christian Protestors Leave Kids Crying In The Hallway At Drag Queen Story Hour

Posted: 08 Jan 2019 11:59 AM PST

Here’s how you know you’re on the wrong side of an issue: you’re making kids cry at the library

When the Upper Cumberland PRIDE organization decided to begin holding a monthly Drag Queen Story Hour at the local Putnam County Library in Tennessee, the first session was a happy success – teaching kids about the joys of reading, diversity, and self-acceptance. But at the second session, over 100 far-right protestors descended on the small, quiet event, crowded kids out of the room, and left them crying in the hall as they sent messages of exclusion and hate.

According to the Cookville Herald-Citizen, the Pride group followed all library policies while reserving the room for their event, and were peaceful throughout the day. Before the event began, though, fundamentalist Christian protestors arrived from two separate churches, filling the room to fire code levels and preventing kids and their families from attending the event.

A supporter on the scene shared photos of the protestors, along with a message:

“Look at these adults. They pushed their way into Drag Queen Story Hour, a children-focused event, and took up a bunch of spaces in a room limited to a capacity of 50… leaving children sobbing in the hall.”

Look at these adults. They pushed their way into Drag Queen Story Hour, a children-focused event, and took up a bunch…

Posted by Lisa Brady Veal on Saturday, January 5, 2019

“Young children weren’t able to come in, per library policy, because of these assholes,” she fumes. “They then proceeded to talk during the reading, record video, and otherwise act like jerks. Then, after it was over, they refused to exit the room, and had to be told to leave multiple times by library staff.”

The story hour was run by Kitty Lovelle, who performs locally in drag. Dressed in a rainbow-covered gown, heavy make-up, and a kitty-eared tiara, she read the book All Are Welcome, which is a book about inclusion, then led the children in a craft about kindness, then engaged the kids in dancing – we know, surely stuff of the devil.

Meanwhile, protestors outside held signs that said, “Libraries are for kids, not drag shows,” “Leave our children alone” and “Transgender ideology is false,” while another group chanted things into a PA system like, “The Bible says if you’re not obedient, you will be destroyed.”

"All the yelling, telling people they’re going to hell. That’s not what God’s about," Lovelle told Fox17 Nashville.

The library didn’t organize or sponsor the event, but was helpful in allowing it to take place despite protestors.

“It is a first amendment right to free speech,” Putnam County Library Director Phil Schaller told the Herald-Citizen. “We have a meeting room policy, and they complied to the meeting room policy.”

Drag Queen Story Hour is a non-profit organization with chapters all over the world–and protests are not uncommon. At this event, at least one of the protests was organized and led by Pastor Dale Walker, who shared his bigoted, un-Christian thoughts in several extremely wobbly live Facebook videos.

“This is what ought to happen in the Bible Belt when people are concerned about the LGBT mandate that wants to silence the pulpit, that wants to silence the church, that wants to do everything that they can to keep Christians from speaking about a Christian mandate,” he said, not making much sense at all, since all the drag queen was doing was peacefully reading a book, and since he was trying to ruin their event with his hateful nonsense.

The coordinator of the Story Hour, Melissa Bean, posted on Facebook after the event, thanking everyone for their help through the stress of the protesters, including the library, local reporters, the safety team, and the UC PRIDE board.

I wanted to take a calm moment to thank the people who made yesterday such a success;

The Putnam County Library! Even…

Posted by Drag Queen Story Hour Middle Tennessee Chapter on Sunday, January 6, 2019

She also specifically thanked the area’s local churches, who, unlike the protest groups that drove in, were supportive of the event and showed up to help and counter-protest.

“[Y]ou stood high when your peers came out so strongly against us,” she wrote. “Pastor James and the United Church of Cookeville who came out in full attire to show his affirmation…The Unity Church who donated over 100 cups of hot chocolate for the protesters…and my home church, my children’s church and my first love, The Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Cookeville and their ‘Yellow Swarm!’ Thank you all…”

Another attendee of the event, Angee Cox Randolph, posted about her experience as well – and summed up a lot of what we’re all thinking about the protestors.

So today I was at Drag Queen Story Hour, I know it’s been getting alot of heat because of some images that had been…

Posted by Angee Cox Randolph on Saturday, January 5, 2019

“Our library is an amazing place with lots of wonders. Don’t be angry at its staff for providing the stage,” she wrote. “Don’t be angry with the performer for wearing a costume. Don’t be angry at the parents who brought their children. Don’t be angry til you learn more about something you can’t understand if you’re angry about it. Because if you fully understand there is no need for anger. ”

Does teaching your kids to love books, diversity, and themselves sound good? Then you can find a Drag Queen Story Hour near you. 

The post Christian Protestors Leave Kids Crying In The Hallway At Drag Queen Story Hour appeared first on Scary Mommy.

California Governor’s Toddler Son Was On The Loose During His Inauguration 

Posted: 08 Jan 2019 11:33 AM PST

Gavin Newsom’s 2-year-old son got onstage and stole the show for a few minutes during his dad’s inauguration

Gavin Newsom was officially made governor of California yesterday, and during his big speech, his two-year-old son decided to shoot his shot by running onstage and stealing his dad’s thunder. The moment was both adorable — and relatable AF.

As Newsom spoke passionately of his hopes and dreams for the state he now leads, little Dutch Newsom came jogging by to say hello — and make the crowd chuckle delightedly.

Newsom, dad of four young kids, didn’t miss a beat when he saw his kiddo appear. In fact, he eventually scooped him up and used the moment to speak on the issue of child separation at the border.

"All kids — not just the children of a governor and a filmmaker — should have a good life in California,'' he said, while letting Dutch snuggle on his shoulder. "Not ripped away from their parents at the border. … Not left hungry while politicians seek to pour billions into a wall that should never be built."

He also spoke about early childhood education, an area where he plans to invest $1.8 million along with six months of parental leave for moms and dads residing in the state.

Although he touched on some important points, mostly, he just played second fiddle to the real star of the show — a tow-headed toddler who simply refused to be contained by his mom or his big brother.

The dangling of his lovey blanket was especially cute.

Eventually, Dutch was wrangled and brought backstage — not that he was happy about it. He could be heard crying as Newsom wrapped his speech. Parenting — it’s not for the weak.

But the day was definitely an overall success for the adorable Newsom family.

They all got to be there while Newsom was sworn in — complete with Dutch looking a bit zonked, sucking away on his binky.

Image via Stephen Lam/Getty Images

Newsom joins the legion of parents being publicly disrupted by their little ones and having it be accidentally amazing. Who can forget the incredible footage provided to us by “BBC Dad” and his tiny office invaders? This is the stuff of internet gold.

However well it went for Newsom, after seeing his son in action, some people already want a new sheriff in town.

We’re fully on board.

The post California Governor’s Toddler Son Was On The Loose During His Inauguration  appeared first on Scary Mommy.