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Top 5 Insane Leftist Meltdowns of 2018

Posted: 31 Dec 2018 07:54 PM PST

As 2018 draws to a close, we’re looking back at all the chuckle-worthy excellence this year. We already did the top Allegra Ornament-Cervix moments. Now, were gonna take a stab at the best lefty meltdowns of this past year.

Enjoy:

1. Walkout Warrior

“F**k the police! Power to the people!” That’s original. Now, all she needs is to add a “Hey hey! Ho ho!” chant and she’ll easily take the gold in the cliche olympics.

2. Gender-Ambiguous Bible-Chucker

I bet this individual wears black to convey the emptiness of his/her/xe’s shattered heart. After they were finished dealing with the po-po, they probably went home and drowned their sorrows in a HIM cd. While writing poetry in the depths of their mom’s basement.

3. Soy-Boy v Turtle-Man: Dawn of Dunce-ness

Typical of lefties, they can’t even let Cocaine Mitch partake of some fine barbecue without causing a scene. Soy-boy here probably thinks he was embarrassing Mitch with his antics. In reality, he was only offering unto us another douchetastic leftist nincompoop to mock.

4. Trans-mission Overload

How anyone would ever confuse that beautiful belle for a dude is beyond me. Sure, she has a rich baritone, the shoulders of an NFL linebacker, and a noticeable bulge in “her” jeans. Nevertheless, you’re out of your freakin’ mind if you think she’s anything other than a ladyperson. She’s all woman.

5. Autistic Screech King

This has to be the best one of the whole year. I laugh every time at this impotent, lefty douchenozzle screeching like a stuck hog at the thought of serving a customer in a MAGA hat.

As their Trump Derangement Syndrome worsens, we can look forward to even more of these glorious leftist meltdowns in the future. 2019 is gonna be lit! Is “lit” still a thing? Get at me.

Speaking of meltdowns:

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Top 5 Dumbest Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Moments of 2018

Posted: 31 Dec 2018 12:54 PM PST

Moments

You have no idea how hard it was whittling down Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s 2018 brainfarts down to single digits. Congresswoman Orenthal-Coprophage is a walking gaffe-machine, giving us juicy soundbites to mock on a daily basis.

2018 was a big year for Alex. So, as we prepare to say goodbye to this year, we’re gonna take a trip to memory lane to give you her “greatest” moments:

Here goes nothing:

1. Two Jobs

Yes, this is a graduate of Boston University with a minor in economics. She thinks the unemployment numbers are artificially low because of peeps doubling up on jobs. Keep in mind, we’re supposed to turn all of our greenbacks and freedoms over to this crazy-eyed loon.

2. You have to pay for things?!

You know things are bad when even the fake news pushers over at CNN are grilling Arabella Oreo-Courvoisier. Jakey Tapper is asking her a pretty simple question. Where do you get the ducats to pay for “free” healthcare. Cortez doesn’t seem to understand these things need to be paid for at all.

3. Viva la revolucion!

Yep, little miss socialist thinks she’s the spiritual successor to Jefferson, Washington, and all the other powdered-wig guys. I must have missed the part in the Declaration of Independence where they took a dump on freedom and pledged their undying allegiance to big government.

4. One Giant Leap for Stupidity

Yeah, you heard that right. A Democrat winning in the Bronx is right up there with the greatest achievement in the history of mankind people-kind.

iceman bullshit

5. Mob tactics

“That’s a nice posterior you’ve got there. It’d be a real shame if somebody…subpoenaed it.” If you think this one’s hilarious, just wait until she’s actually in office.

Bonus: Three “Chambers”

Alright, I couldn’t leave this out. This one’s my personal favorite:

“There’s three chambers of congre…er…government. The Senate, the House, and the one with the president. I’m gonna stop now, otherwise I run the risk of looking like I don’t know what I’m talking about.” Keep in mind, this lass with a sub-middle school understanding of civics is going to be lording over you for the next two years. But likely the rest of her life because she’s a socialist from New York.

Boy, judging from these moments, 2019 is gonna be fun.

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Alice Cooper Offers Refreshing Take on Mixing Politics and Entertainment

Posted: 31 Dec 2018 11:27 AM PST

Alice Cooper

There will never be another like Alice Cooper. In terms of pure showmanship, the man puts guys a half century younger than him to shame. Bruno Mars’ imp-tastic ass isn’t worthy enough to shine Cooper’s jack boots. No, that’s not a racial thing. It’s a showmanship thing. Spare me. If you ever get the chance to partake of Cooper’s sonic excellence in person, I highly recommend it.

Alice gave an interview recently where he laid out one of the secrets of his success. He despises co-mingling politics with music. He’s simply here to entertain us:

When musicians are telling people who to vote for, I think that's an abuse of power. You're telling your fans not to think for themselves, just to think like you. Rock'n'roll is about freedom – and that's not freedom.

Now, this is what I’m talking about.

I want my shows to take you as far away as possible from politics. It's supposed to be an escape from the world we're living in. And you know the next president is going to be worse than Trump, right?

See, this is why Alice Cooper will one day ascend to his throne in the stars, to take his rightful place alongside the gods of metal.

Most other entertainers are self-important douche nuggets. They think we give a rat’s fart about what they have to say politically. Yet, contrary to those narcissistic jagweeds’ beliefs, we don’t fancy Beyonce a political guru because she did “Single Ladies.”

It’s refreshing to see an entertainer who knows the true purpose of their craft. People don’t subject themselves to a Justin Bieber show to hear him deliver a treatise on nuclear proliferation. Nicki Minaj to lecture us on the Israel/Palestine conflict. Meagan Trainor to warn us of the Surgeon General’s genocidal campaign against the rotund. We just want to hear them sing, act, or tell jokes. Whatever it is they do.

Going heavy on politics, no matter if it’s left or right, almost always ruins a song or a movie. It takes you completely out of the moment. The whole point of comedy is to chuckle. Music is there for us to headbang and sing along. Entertainment is meant to entertain. End of story. Related: Enough Already! James Bond is a Handsome Straight Man and Will STAY THAT WAY!

Speaking of that:

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Pat Sajak Trolls CNN with Name Change Idea

Posted: 31 Dec 2018 11:13 AM PST

When I grow up, I want to be as clever as Pat Sajak. He wonderfully trolled CNN while staying under the original Twitter character length of 140 characters. Because when you’re as cool as Sajak, you don’t need a whole paragraph to throw shade. The Wheel of Fortune daddy poked CNN with a name change idea, which both insulted them and our problematic culture.

Pat Sajak, we salute you:

Of course he’s right, CNN is as much reporting news as Pat Sajak is selling Girl Scout cookies while wearing a dress. Not that he couldn’t totally pull it off, but he has better things to do. In fact, since it’s the end of the year, a round-up:

For more Sajak slams:

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Louis CK Marks Return by Mocking Parkland Kids, Transgenderism

Posted: 31 Dec 2018 07:56 AM PST

In comedy, there is no line. You’re free to mock whatever you’d like. You’re free to either find it funny, find it distasteful, offensive, and if so, leave the club or discontinue patronizing the comedian you do not like. A comedian can say what he wants. You can laugh at what you want. But a comedian shouldn’t be silenced simply because you find him unfunny or his material offensive. Which will have the left in all sorts of conniption fits, as Louis “Lemme Show You My Crotch Serpent Purr” CK returned to stand up. Check out Slate having meltdowns over it. Loius CK mocked PC culture at large but really zoned in on the Parkland kids and transgenderism.

By the way, this is not safe for work, school, or listening to with a parent. Be warned:

Hey, you’re free to hate the set. You’re free to love the set. Welcome to America, where everyone has the right to say whatever they want. But that right doesn’t extend to the protection of your feelings. Case in point, I still think Louis CK is a creep for showing ladies his naughty bits while pleasuring himself. I wouldn’t see him do a standup event for that reason. But Louis CK was never, to my knowledge, charged with a crime. So as far as I know, he’s free to perform comedy to whoever wants to see him. That’s the free market at work.

As for the content of his set, the Parkland kids opened themselves up to criticism as soon as they entered the political arena of ideas. As we made mention in the following posts and video below:

Had the Parkland bunch wanted to remain anonymous, they shouldn’t have opened their face holes demanding the rest of us cede our Second Amendment rights. But they did, so we can tell them to go screw off. Thems be the rules.

Similarly, if you think the gender pronoun fluidity crap sandwich isn’t a recipe for mocking, why are you even reading this website? We’ve had plenty of fun with gender pronouns and will continue to do so, thanks. Watch HIDDEN CAM: Asking Normal People Their ‘Preferred Gender Pronouns.’

Louis CK wanted to make a splash. I’d say he did, but I’m interested to see if other comedians follow in his steps and tell PC obsessed wimps to go shove it up their back hole.

Also, David Hogg is a balloon-faced chimp. I’m not sorry to say it.

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Happy New Year, America! Here’s Trump Re-Imagined As The Punisher [VIDEO]

Posted: 31 Dec 2018 05:09 AM PST

It’s been a mixed year for Donald Trump. The only constant has been the unhinged hatred from the left (see Witches Furious Over Trump's Use of Term 'Witch Hunt' and Vape Store Clerk has Meltdown Over Customer's Trump Hat). So as a public service to help continue triggering liberals, here is Donald Trump reimagined as The Punisher. Because this is America, and there is no better way to ring in the New Year.

This clip is from Daredevil Season 2, as Frank Castle (aka The Punisher) is escaping prison.

You’re welcome, Crowderheadz.

Random disclaimers for people who can’t even:

  • It’s a joke.
  • Yes, some people have way too much time on their hands.
  • Jon Bernthal did it better.
  • No, this isn’t a call for Trump to punch Ocasio-Cortez in the kisser.
  • No, this isn’t a call for a crazy person with a van to ax CNN or anyone from CNN like Jim Acosta.
  • Whatever happened to Jim Acosta?
  • Do you think someone has shown this to Trump, and will he retweet it prompting the media to hunt down the original creator?

Have a safe and Happy New Year everyone.

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Goes Bananas When Called Out for Lying About the Bronx

Posted: 31 Dec 2018 04:41 AM PST

When you think of it, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez beefing with the excretable Michael Knowles is really the only way to end 2018. Especially when Cortez has brought us so much joy this year (see Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Erroneously Claims Jesus was Born a Refugee and Ocasio-Cortez Thinks Green Energy Will Bring Racial & Social Justice). It all started with Knowles pointing out some facts about where Congresswoman-Elect Alexandria Ocasio Nina Pinta Santa Maria Cortez actually grew up. Hint: not the Bronx.

Cortez went bananas.

reaction

Here’s how you know it was a solid dis. Cortez went into full breakdown mode. Where she just started sputtering leftist buzzwords because the facts failed her.

Only in America is it a badge of honor to lie about being poor.

Notice she’s not really denying the original jab. Because she can’t deny the original jab. Because, as it turns out, she’s a lying liar who lied to get ahead.

She’s the gift that keeps on giving. And she hasn’t even taken office yet.

Bring on 2019!

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Sheriff Slams California Sanctuary State Policies in Wake of Cop Killing

Posted: 31 Dec 2018 02:46 AM PST

Stanislaus County Sheriff Adam Christianson

Stanislaus County Sheriff Adam Christianson wants you to know a basic fact about California’s sanctuary state policies (see Black Voters in Santa Clarita BLAST California's "Sanctuary State" Policy and Legal Immigrant Fights Against California's Sanctuary State Law: 'We Did it the Right Way!'). If not for those policies, officer Ronil Singh would still be alive right now. Maybe you already suspected. Now we know.

“We were prohibited — law enforcement was prohibited because of sanctuary laws and that led to the encounter with officer Singh," Christianson said at Friday's news conference. "The outcome could have been different if law enforcement wasn't restricted, prohibited, or had their hands tied because of political interference.

In the biz, we call this the nail in the coffin. Sadly, the metaphor applied to the innocent Ronil Singh, where it should’ve applied to the Sheriff’s point.

"We're not here to enforce federal immigration law — that's not our job," Christianson said at the news conference. "But law enforcement should be able to turn people over to ICE who are gang members who victimize and exploit others."

Gee, you think? But guess who’s to blame for this.

The policy, pushed by Democrats and signed in 2017 as SB54, prohibits local law enforcement from notifying or sharing detained immigrants' information with federal immigration agents, when they are not accused of serious criminal charges.

Lemme break this down real simple like, since we’re heading into what will be a contentious political season with Democrats vying for the presidential nomination: one side is the party of illegal criminals. The other side is the party of our first responders. It’s really as simple as that.

Democrats want illegal immigrants in this country, to sure up their voting base. Republicans don’t, but often fail to do shit about it because of politics.

Just don’t expect any California politician to change the law in the wake of this officer being slain. Most of them haven’t even publicly acknowledged Ronil Singh’s name. Let that sink in.

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Liberalism in 2018: Talking to Kids About Your Abortion [VIDEO]

Posted: 31 Dec 2018 01:49 AM PST

We’ve long been beyond parody when even we have to double check some story isn’t from the Babylon Bee. Even our jokes end up being things leftists actually believe. But take a bow, because the left has shocked us with this: a video where you talk to children about your abortion. This is one of those rare occasions where there are almost no words. We’ve seen some pro-abortion doozies in 2018 (see Leftist Parody Video Compares Abortion to Male Masturbation and 'The Young Turks' Claim Christianity is in Favor of Abortion). But this is just…wow.

Let’s keep this video in mind when someone says “we need to find common ground with the left.” Making exceptions for rape, incest, and the life of the mother was kind of sort of common ground. “Safe, legal, and rare” with a heavy emphasis on “rare” was kind of sort of common ground. Though for me, there’s no common ground for when and how to kill your unborn baby. But for the sake of keeping the communication channels open, sure, let’s talk.

Show me the common ground over a woman who says things like “suck the pregnancy out” to children. And spare me the “but I’m pro-choice” shite. This is straight up pro-abortion. When you are celebrating abortions by making propaganda videos with children — children who wouldn’t be here in the first place if you had your way — there’s no common ground to cover. Especially when scientific discussions get swapped for pretty euphemisms and a woman who can’t stop shaking the shoe off her foot. My God, make it stop.

More importantly, abortion is already legal. Yet the left keeps pushing abortion, trying to remove the natural stigma which comes from sucking your unborn child from your womb. So some 40 plus years into legalized abortion, the left is trying to normalize abortion. Could it be with the advancement of science, shareable facts, and a couple of generations wrought by abortion, the tides are changing and the left is panicked? Think about it.

You’re a pro-abortion maniac. You’re also the reason why Donald Trump can tweet all the ignorant things he wants. As long as he appoints a replacement for Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

No, we don’t have to apologize for RBG jokes so long as you keep pedaling abortion like this. Not sorry.

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