#Diversity

#Diversity


Target’s Handing Out $20 Gift Cards For Every $100 Spent On Baby Items

Posted: 18 Jan 2019 07:54 AM PST

Target’s gift card deal for baby items is not one to be missed

Babies are ridiculously expensive, right? Every time you turn around, they’re outgrowing (and staining) their clothes, needing more diapers, or graduating on to new baby things, that of course, require you to spend money. No worries — as always, the Big Red Bullseye has your back. Target’s got a sweet gift card promotion going right now, and if you’re in need of baby stuff, you’re going to want to get in on this.

Target’s offering a $20 gift card for every $100 spent on baby items and it’s only good through tomorrow. It’s a deal to pounce on because we all know how sickeningly easy it is to blow $100 on baby things — when my kids were tiny, I could do that on diapers and wipes alone thanks to having two under two.

Now there’s one real quick catch that’s honestly not a big deal — you have to place your order through in-store Order Pickup, Drive Up, or Target Restock, the company’s next-day delivery service, to take advantage of the promo.

Which, why not? Sitting in your (probably spit-up stained) pajamas on the couch to order what you need for your teeny boss and either picking it up, driving up to get it or having it delivered? The only downside is not being able to stroll the aisles to find all the candles and throw pillows you suddenly need. But nothing’s stopping you from gathering your pick-up or drive-up items, snagging that gift card, and going in anyway.

Target's Handing Out $20 Gift Cards For Every $100 Spent On Baby Items

After all, that bonus $20 gift card doesn’t need to be spent on baby items — you can use it on anything in the store. And the possibilities, as any Target mom knows, are endless.

Sure, you could put those found funds back into the baby stuff coffer, but why not use this as a guilt-free chance to buy yourself something fun? Target has so many amazing beauty items that it would be a blast to pick out a fun face mask, some lip gloss, and a new hair product for yourself and call it good.

Target's Handing Out $20 Gift Cards For Every $100 Spent On Baby Items

I know that’s what I’d do, but I’m not the boss of you (lol your baby is) so make it your own.

Target's Handing Out $20 Gift Cards For Every $100 Spent On Baby Items

So what are you waiting for? Get thee to the place where everybody knows your name and is literally always glad you came. Or am I the only one on a first-name basis with at least 10 employees at her local Target? Whatever. No shame in my bargain game.

Target's Handing Out $20 Gift Cards For Every $100 Spent On Baby Items

The post Target’s Handing Out $20 Gift Cards For Every $100 Spent On Baby Items appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Margot Robbie’s Totally Done With Nosy Questions About When She’ll Have A Baby

Posted: 18 Jan 2019 06:34 AM PST

Everyone needs to listen to what Margot Robbie has to say when it comes to asking women when they’re having kids

Margot Robbie is extremely over being asked when she’s going to have a baby. The actress, who was married in 2016, says most interviews lead with that question — and she’s not having it anymore.

Robbie, who is currently promoting her latest film Mary Queen of Scots, recently touched upon being able to relate to her character, Queen Elizabeth I, when it comes to the matter of reproduction. The queen herself never produced an heir, and Robbie says the pressure that was placed on her character was incredibly unfair.

“It made me really angry. How dare some old guy dictate what I can and can't do when it comes to motherhood or my own body?" she tells Radio Times. "Unfortunately, it's a conversation we're still having."

Yes, unfortunately, she’s right.

Robbie married filmmaker Tom Ackerley two years ago, and she says the first question she’s regularly and publicly asked is about babies. "I got married and the first question in almost every interview is, 'Babies? When are you having one?'” she says. “I'm so angry that there's this social contract. You're married, now have a baby. Don't presume. I'll do what I'm going to do.”

Raise your hand if you can relate.

Margot Robbie's Totally Done With Nosy Questions About When She'll Have A Baby

And it doesn’t get any better after you actually have a child, either. My stitches weren’t even healed from delivering my daughter before friends and family members were asking when we were having “number two.”

Many people agree that asking women this question is not only old-fashioned, but insensitive. You don’t know what a couple is struggling with, be it money, indecision, or infertility — and it’s none of your goddamn business.

Robbie says she’s just enjoying married life right now, and her career. She says she hopes to become a mom someday, but not anytime soon. She’s 28 years old, gorgeous, and talented — can’t we all just let her live?

"If I'm looking into my future 30 years from now, I want to see a big Christmas dinner with tons of kids there," she says. "But definitely not at the moment. That's 100 percent certain."

Here’s the thing about asking a woman about her fertility and maternal desires — by doing so, you’re laying the burden of those two things squarely on her shoulders and hers alone. Do people realize they’re potentially being insensitive by asking such a personal question? No, most likely they don’t. They also probably don’t intend to be hurtful by asking either. But that’s the difference between intent and results, isn’t it?

And when women with a platform like Margot Robbie, or the hundreds of women responding similarly on social media tell you that you’re being hurtful — it’s your job to listen.

The post Margot Robbie’s Totally Done With Nosy Questions About When She’ll Have A Baby appeared first on Scary Mommy.

This Is The Problem With Saying ‘It’s Up To You’

Posted: 17 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

We were shopping for new carpet. Mel showed me a sample, asked my opinion, and I said, "It's up to you. I don't really care. Get what you want."

Our three wild kids were running around the flooring store. I was keeping half my mind on them, and the other half on picking out carpet. Well, that's not 100% accurate. I was keeping 50% on them, 40% on my phone, and 10% on the carpet. Which basically means I wasn't paying much attention at all to the carpet. I'm going to sound like a typical husband here, but I didn't really care what kind of carpet we got. Honestly and truly. I just wanted to make sure it was in our budget. I had every intention of paying more attention once we started discussing the price.

"But I want your opinion," she said. I let out a long breath, looked up at the ceiling, put my phone in my pocket, and said, "That stuff in your hand looks nice. Get that."

Her lips went flat, eyes fixed on mine, and I could tell that I'd crossed a line somewhere, but I didn't know where.

"What?" I said, hands open, face irritated. "I honestly don't care what we get. I just want you to be happy with it."

In my husband mind, I was assumed that by letting Mel get what she wanted, I was being a good husband, right? I was allowing her to turn the house we bought a month earlier into the home she wanted.

Mel pulled into a small cove in the corner of the store that was lined with hardwood flooring samples, away from all the salespeople, and our children who actually were being civil for a moment. She leaned in close to me, and in a forceful whisper said, "When I said that I want your opinion, what I means is, 'I want you to care because sometimes it feels like I make all the decisions.'"

I don't know if it was the stress of moving, but something broke loose in her. She went on, listing all the decisions she made around our house, everything from what our kids get for holidays to what we get at the grocery store. She went on for quite some time. Then she got quiet, and I'll admit, I was angry at first. I honestly didn't get it, but the longer she stared at me, the longer I thought, and suddenly I realized that perhaps I'd been missing something pretty important.

I thought back to our move. She told me where to put the furniture, and beds, and pictures on the walls. She told me how she wanted the kitchen. Outside of negotiating the price of the house, renting a moving truck, and arranging for friends to come help haul a few heavy things, all I'd really done was manual labor. I moved boxes. I pulled out the old carpet. I hauled in the furniture. And naturally, Mel had also been on the other end of the sofa and mattresses, and moved half the boxes herself.

In the four months it took for us to put our old house up for sale, pack it up, and move into the new house, I thought a lot about all the manual labor it was going to take. But I never once thought about the mental labor.

I consider myself a champion of marriage as a partnership, but it goes much deeper than who does the laundry, gets up with the kids, and pays the bills. And for the first time, in that flooring store, I realized that marriage needs to be equal on all fronts, and that includes when decisions need to be made, even if they are as simple as buying carpet.

I know there folks who will read this post and roll their eyes, coming back with something like, "What about when you give your opinion and she doesn't like it?" Well, just because she asked for an opinion, doesn't mean she has to accept it. Marriage is about compromise and ideas, and sharing the whole load, every bit of it, even the mental labor. Every time you don't pitch in when making a decision you are actually adding one more thing to a mother’s already very full plate.

So I let out a breath, turned to Mel, and said, "I'm sorry. Let's figure this out together."

We went back to the carpet, and looked at the samples. I asked questions. I read descriptions. I put in my two cents, and Mel put in hers, and together we picked something out that worked for our family.

The post This Is The Problem With Saying ‘It's Up To You’ appeared first on Scary Mommy.

10 Highs And Lows Of Being A Step-Parent

Posted: 17 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

There are many things as a step-parent that fill you with joy, frustration, and bewilderment (sometimes all in a 10 minute span).

Here are 10 things I've learned over my almost 5-year journey into step-mommying:

1. That marriage certificate doesn't make you any more official than a bio parent's boyfriend/girlfriend.

As in my case, you may have "mom" in your title, but it means nothing to schools, doctors, etc. when it comes to making decisions (or even scheduling an appointment without signed bio parent consent). You also resemble a groupie looking for scalpers when trying to get into a talent show at a school where only 2 tickets are guaranteed to each student.

2. You live in a wonderful limbo of parent with a dash of friend.

My stepdaughter readily opens up to me more than she does her own parents, and is quick to be a little more rebellious in my company. Still, that's a double-edged sword. When I need to pull out the "mom" card and discipline her, it doesn't go over very well.

3. The responsibilities without the rights.

You can take on the assumed parental responsibilities of clothing, feeding, and caring for your stepchild, but you have no legal rights to them. I put as much time, effort, and money into my stepdaughter on days we have her (it's 50/50 custody) as I do my bio daughter, but only one of those girls counts as mine legally and it's annoying AF.

4. You get to grow as a person.

Yes, it's true that loving and raising a child who you don’t have legal custody of isn't always easy. That being said, when you open your heart to loving someone else's child as your own, you're a more beautiful and enriched human.

5. You need to know your role.

There are plenty of things I want to discuss with my stepdaughter about her growing body and changes she's going through, but I feel like that's stepping on her mom's toes… intruding on THAT talk we as parents dread.

6. You get to make mistakes and learn from them (in a trial run, almost).

Things that I did or didn't do with my stepdaughter through the years have shown me how to be a better parent.

7. You don't get to escape the ex.

My husband will never need to know (let alone be in contact with) my exes. With a kid in the picture, his ex-wife becomes a part of almost every day for us. I don't love that (or even like it), but I love their (our) daughter.

8. My stepdaughter is two halves of one whole: her parents.

In that equation, there's no room for me, and when she wishes the whole were one again, I'm the inevitable bad guy in the situation.

9. Jealousy of half-siblings is unavoidable.

For as good of a big sister as she is, my stepdaughter will openly admit jealousy of her 3-year-old sister who gets their dad all of the time.

10. We're happy in our family unit, but I'll never be her happily ever after.

She's a child of divorce who has been going between two homes for the past seven years. I let her yell it out: "it sucks!" on the long walks we take from time to time, all the while hoping she understands she's luckier than most and going between two GOOD houses isn't so bad.

The post 10 Highs And Lows Of Being A Step-Parent appeared first on Scary Mommy.

The Surprising Thing I Learned At My High School Reunion

Posted: 17 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

As I walked into the room, the atmosphere was electric. Voices and laughter drowned out the music from the DJ in the ballroom. 20 years has gone by since I walked the halls of high school, yet seeing familiar faces instantly brought me back to my childhood. And little did I know that one night of reminiscing over the good old days would teach me so many valuable life lessons.

Surreal. That's the best way to describe my 20-year high school reunion. It's been two decades since I called San Diego my home. Nerves and excitement consumed me as I entered the hotel. I scanned the room, and within seconds, I recognized dozens of many classmates. No one seems to age in California! The women all looked the same, the men too, although some lacked in the hair follicle department (sorry guys!).

What I quickly realized is the difference 10 years makes. At our last high school reunion, we were young, making our mark on this world. It was the first time many of us had seen each other since graduating high school. We wanted to impress our peers as we tried to prove our successes in the real world.

Fast forward a decade and life looks completely different. We are all nearing 40 years old and we're settled into our lives. Some of us are married with children, others have traveled the world. Some of us have experienced tragedy, like the devastating loss of a child. And all of us have lost classmates, the heartbreaking reality of suicide.

As I made the rounds at my reunion, I felt as if I was in a dream. I laughed with elementary school classmates, some I haven't seen in nearly 30 years. I squealed like a child as I spotted old friends I was eager to catch up with. And even though social media helps us stay connected from afar, that face-to-face interaction is priceless. Making the 2,000 mile trip back home was well worth it.

Stacey Skrysak

I went into this night not sure of what to expect, but I left with a resounding sense of pride. The high school years are filled with angst and insecurity. It's a period in life when you are trying to figure out who you are, or simply trying to fit in with others. There are cliques, and gossip, and there is plenty of stress. But here's the thing: none of that matters decades later. It doesn't matter whether you were popular or had straight A's. It doesn't matter if you were the star athlete or a book nerd.

20 years later, none of that matters. Success isn't measured by the car that you drive or how much money you make. It isn't measured by your job title. Success is what holds real meaning in your life—your happiness, your family and relationships. Success is living fully and making a difference, all while being true to yourself. It's something I wish I’d known when I was in the throes of the teenage years.

Stacey Skrysak

As I said my goodbyes, I took one last look at this group. I left that night feeling nostalgic and inspired. Unlike those teenage years, I had nothing to prove. I wasn't looking for acceptance; instead, I was looking to reminisce and reconnect. We may have a few more wrinkles and our conversations now center around children, chin hairs and anti-aging creams, but deep down we are the same.

There's something special about your childhood friends. You can pick right up where you left off, even if it's been 5, 10 or 20 years. It may be another decade before we're all together again, but I'm grateful for the lifelong friendships I made as a child. I'll see you all in 10 years, eager to hear where life takes us next.

The post The Surprising Thing I Learned At My High School Reunion appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Most Stuf Oreos Are Officially Here And Just Take Our Money

Posted: 17 Jan 2019 02:22 PM PST

Oreo The Most Stuf are so full of cream they don’t even look real

If you’re one of those Oreo eaters who’s only there for the creme filling, then what we’re about to tell you will be a lot to take at once.

There are now Oreos that have more filling than Double Stuf. Like, a lot more.

Behold. Oreo The Most Stuf cookies exist and they did not come to play. Now wipe the drool from your chin. I will do the same.

Instagram Photo

Yes, they’re real. And they’re spectacular.

Snack savvy Instagram account Munchie Bunchie says, “This is beyond incredible… like beyond. I honestly almost fainted to the floor when I opened the package! These are so fat!! You gotta be that person that eats the creme by itself to enjoy these (🙋🏽‍♀️ hi me).” Hi, me too.

Instagram Photo

Food-focused Instagram account Cravings Hunter says they’re around $3 a box, which is frankly the bargain of the century. As a lifelong “gimme the creme filling and you can have all my chocolate cookie parts” kind of gal, this is the most exciting news to come from 2019 so far. Look at how much frosting there is.

Instagram Photo

So far, word on the street is that these ultra creme-filled gems are being found at Rite Aid. Even if they were only found at the north pole we’d find a way to get our hands on them, because hello.

Instagram Photo

The JunkFoodMom writes, “These were clearly made for fun and the WOW factor and I love it. Limited Edition Oreo The Most Stuf. Are these 2 double stuffed or 2 mega stuffed put together? Opening you immediately smell the Creme and giggle in delight how big they are. If you like Oreos for the cookie you won't like these. They are nothing but sweet Creme – the cookie is there to keep your fingers from getting sticky only.”

Instagram Photo

Works for me.

The post Most Stuf Oreos Are Officially Here And Just Take Our Money appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Woman Perfectly Shuts Down Jiffy Lube Employee Who Texted Her Inappropriately

Posted: 17 Jan 2019 01:07 PM PST

A woman had the perfect response after a Jiffy Lube employee sent her an inappropriate text message

A creepy text message led to a teachable moment, thanks to one incredibly fierce and eloquent woman. Twitter user @LoveableandKind posted an exchange between her sister and a Jiffy Lube employee who reached out via text message to hit on her. Get ready to give all the snaps and applause for her brilliant response.

It all began when the employee texted the words: “You’re gorgeous.” The woman asked who it was and the man responded it was “[her] favorite oil change guy.” He said that he couldn’t help but let her know that he found her attractive. Excuse us while we gag.

The woman responded with a truly epic text message that detailed exactly why it was inappropriate that he had reached out and all the possible ramifications for his actions.

Image via LovableAndKind/Twitter

Image via LovableAndKind/Twitter

Image via LovableAndKind/Twitter

Image via LovableAndKind/Twitter

“While I know you were wanting to give me a compliment, it was completely unnecessary and unsolicited,” she wrote. “I am a customer, you are a service provider, and there should be no communication between us outside of that unless I, the customer, express interest.”

She went on to explain that he had caused her panic by tracking down her phone number because that meant he actually went into her file and pulled her personal information. “Now that I know that you are the type of person to go back to someone’s file to find their personal information, what is to keep you from going back and getting my address,” she wrote. “There are men who stalk, rape, and murder women by getting their information this way.”

The woman concluded that she was in a quandary. She could ignore this extremely unprofessional behavior and continue to go to Jiffy Lube or she could report him to HR. Mostly, she wanted to hear that he would never violate another woman’s privacy again. He quickly apologized.

Oh yeah, and then she added that he didn’t give her correct information about her tire pressure so, no, he doesn’t even crack the top five of her favorite oil change guys. BOOM.

This tweet pulled in more than 87,000 likes, around 15,000 retweets, and hundreds of comments. Unsurprisingly, there were some men bemoaning the fact that they can never even talk to women without them getting upset. To that we say…it’s honestly pretty simple. Don’t creepily locate a number and text message someone you’re in a professional relationship with and compliment them on their looks. That should really, really just be common sense.

Others applauded the woman for her incredible response and sent her lots of internet love.

Hopefully this guy learned his lesson. And now we all have an A+ template for the next time some guy does something gross and inappropriate.

The post Woman Perfectly Shuts Down Jiffy Lube Employee Who Texted Her Inappropriately appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Federal Employees Are Using Food Banks To Feed Their Families During Shutdown

Posted: 17 Jan 2019 12:00 PM PST

Food banks across the country are seeing a huge spike in requests for food directly related to the government shutdown

With Trump’s government shutdown now entering its fourth week, federal employees who have been furloughed are turning to food banks to help feed their families. Because this is what life is like for people who are prevented from working and aren’t earning a paycheck — they can’t afford to eat.

Last weekend in the D.C. area, more than 2,400 people showed up at five different “pop-up markets” for furloughed federal employees and contractors, sponsored by the Capital Area Food Bank. The attendance was more than twice the anticipated amount.

Many food pantries across the country are seeing a major increase in demand for food, directly related to the shutdown. Capital Area Food Bank CEO Radha Muthiah tells CNN more than 50 calls per day from people looking for nearby food pantries are coming in from the D.C., Virginia, and Maryland area — a 15-20% increase from this time last year.

Image via Paul Hennessy/NurPhoto/Getty

The Central Pennsylvania Food Bank started a federal shutdown food assistance program to serve 25,000 federal employees, CNN reports.

During the past two weeks of the shutdown, more than 280 federal employees have relied on the Catholic Community Services of Northern Utah food bank — which is a 50% increase over the regular clients who use the food bank this time of year.

Restaurants and bars are also chipping in to do their part during the shutdown. Chef  José Andrés opened a pop-up kitchen in the D.C. area this week, to help feed federal employees and contractors.

Image via Getty/Mark Wilson

Another initiative, Pay It Furloughed, allows people all over the country to donate beers to furloughed employees. “Beer makes everything better, so we’re buying local craft brews for federal employees impacted by the government shutdown,” the site says.

If you’re looking for a way to help hungry, unpaid federal workers feed their families, you can donate to a local food bank helping furloughed employees, or D.C.’s Capital Area Food Bank’s Hunger Lifeline.

Image via Natalie Behring/Getty Images

Even after these employees resume work and collecting paychecks, it’s going to take a while for them to get back on their feet. Weeks of missed utility payments, rent or mortgage payments, and just generally struggling to get by takes a massive toll on everyone affected.

Here’s hoping the longest presidential tantrum in political history results in these good, hard-working people actually being paid for their work as soon as possible.

The post Federal Employees Are Using Food Banks To Feed Their Families During Shutdown appeared first on Scary Mommy.

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