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Sunday, January 6, 2019

#Diversity

#Diversity


Chrissy Teigen Just Confirmed That John Legend Is The Ultimate Instagram Husband

Posted: 06 Jan 2019 07:54 AM PST

John Legend is the Instagram husband we all want/need

They say that behind every great man, there’s a great woman. Well, we’d like to make a temporary amendment to that iconic phrase. Behind every gorgeous Instagram picture of Chrissy Teigen, there’s John Legend – patiently, masterfully snapping away on his phone. Now, wouldn’t it be nice if all of our significant others were willing to take countless photos of us (horizontal and vertical, please).

Teigen confirmed that Legend has been dutifully fulfilling his role as the ultimate Instagram husband by posting a video of herself posing on a beach, with Legend lovingly snapping away.

“Thank u for always supporting my Instagram dreams,” she wrote. “This train only moves because of you(r phone) .. you are the tracks that lay the foundation .. creating a direct path to hope and possibilities of likes and curated content. what u do is important. I will never take u for granted, my king.”

Instagram Photo

And the results were solid gold. Nice job, John.

Instagram Photo

I guess let’s call this reason one million and one why these two are the cutest couple in Hollywood?

Chrissy Teigen Just Confirmed That John Legend Is The Ultimate Instagram Husband

Meanwhile, the whole family seems to be having a very dreamy, sandy beach vacation. Prepare to feel very, very jealous while you shove three more blankets around you in an attempt to stay warm. Here’s a cute picture of Teigen and their daughter Luna.

Instagram Photo

Legend and their son Miles (who, incidentally, looks like a carbon copy of his father).

Instagram Photo

More tropical cuteness.

Instagram Photo

And then just a video of Teigen and Legend cat-walking together (along with Teigen breaking the fourth wall).

Instagram Photo

I guess the moral of this story is that we should all probably be on a gorgeous beach vacation right now. Also, all of our loved ones really need to step up their picture-taking game for the sake of our social media hopes and dreams.

The post Chrissy Teigen Just Confirmed That John Legend Is The Ultimate Instagram Husband appeared first on Scary Mommy.

If Your Tree’s Still Up, Let This Mom’s Genius Hack Save Your Life

Posted: 06 Jan 2019 07:46 AM PST

So much for putting up ornaments next year

If you have an artificial tree and haven’t had the desire or energy to take it down yet, you’re gonna want to check this out. A mom-of-two from Minnesota decided she’d had it with the yearly tree set up/take down shenanigans, so she did what any busy mom would do — she solved the problem herself.

Renae Krivitz lives in Prior Lake, Minnesota and was mulling over the de-Christmasing process with a friend. She tells Scary Mommy she was talking about how much work it is to fluff up each branch, set up, defluff, take down, etc. every single year and wished she could just put it away as is.

Narrator: “And so, she did.”

My new time saving Christmas tree invention. No more decorating/un-decorating. Wrap it and store it!

Posted by Renae Krivitz on Saturday, January 5, 2019

“My new time saving Christmas tree invention,” Krivitz posted on Facebook. “No more decorating/un-decorating. Wrap it and store it!” This woman is a damn genius (and a working mom of two), so she obviously knows how to problem solve with the best of them.

Krivitz said she remembered a giant roll of plastic their builders left behind (the kind you use for covering carpets) and voila, the world’s most inventive time saver for the holidays was born. “I've had it for years and figured out how to use it today,” she commented on her post.

Image via Renae Krivitz

Sure, it’s fun putting up the tree with the kids when they’re little (and by fun I mean a shitload of swearing under your breath), but as they get older, no one wants to help and you end up doing all the work yourself. No one, and I mean no one, wants to help take it all down when the holidays are over. It’s bad enough taking down all of the decorations throughout the house, but taking off each individual ornament is a total pain in the ass.

Well, not anymore, it’s not.

Image via Renae Krivitz

Krivitz said she got it all wrapped up and her husband and son carried it into their store room for next year. And hey, if she ever gets sad and longs for nights spent around the Christmas tree, all she has to do is go downstairs with a nice glass of red, pull up a holiday playlist on her phone, and boom, it’s Christmas Day, every day.

This idea may have just put me firmly in the artificial tree camp, forever.

The post If Your Tree’s Still Up, Let This Mom’s Genius Hack Save Your Life appeared first on Scary Mommy.

The Comments On This Swimsuit Ad Are Comedy Gold

Posted: 06 Jan 2019 06:47 AM PST

Women flocked to the comments on this swimsuit ad to point out the model’s lack of, um, parts

Now that the holidays are in the rearview mirror, spring break advertising is coming in hot. That means swimsuits of all varieties are popping up in our news feeds. But one in particular caught a whole lotta people’s attention for its bold colors and, er, smooth lines.

Beginning Boutique posted on Facebook about some “red hot swim” that just dropped, and it left commenters a little — perplexed. And by perplexed, we mean there was a visceral reaction to this poor woman’s LOL (Lack Of Labias). I’m no mathematician, but there should definitely be an inner and an outer and it appears this model has neither, which, bless.

LONG WEEKEND VIBIN’ 🔥 Red hot swim just dropped! Tap to shop the @9.0swim Haymen Bikini Tee Red & White $59.95 & Heron Bikini Bottoms Red & White $39.95!

Posted by Beginning Boutique on Thursday, January 3, 2019

Obviously, folks who saw this ad had a couple of questions for its designer (after a significant amount of time scratching their collective heads). Namely, can a person with an actual vag wear one of these and if so, could we get a side-by-side comparison of a vag-carrying woman so we know what we (and the rest of the beachgoers) will be dealing with come Spring Break 2019?

According to their website, this 9.0 Swim Heyman suit is “made from a white swimsuit material,” and the swimsuit top “features red trim around the hems and short sleeves in a gorgeous 90s style,” and can be worn over your favorite white bikini.

The Comments On This Swimsuit Ad Are Comedy Gold

Wait, we’re going to have to decide which of our white string bikinis will fit under the top of this skin-tight number? That’s totes uncool, guys.

To be fair to the model pictured, it does look like zero percent of their models have actual hoohas, which is either due to the magic of Photoshop or… some other kind of magic.

Image via Beginning Boutique

While many of the commenters pointed out there’s no way in hell these suits are made for someone who has birthed a child, I’ll be the first to say my minge didn’t even remotely look like this when I was 22. So, there’s that.

Listen, I’m not hating on these ladies. They look amazing. It’s clear they take care of themselves, work out every (and I mean every) part of their bodies, and have managed to get through life without a hint of a stretch mark or scar. Good on them. I’m just sayin’ if you’re concerned your nether region may not be up to snuff in a white number come beach time, they also come in black. Because, black is slimming and it’s clear slim vaginas are in this year.

Image via Beginning Boutique

Thank goodness for the commenters, who gave us all #comedygoals instead of #vaginagoals, because omg please don’t ever let that become a thing.

The post The Comments On This Swimsuit Ad Are Comedy Gold appeared first on Scary Mommy.

What It’s Like To Have A Panic Attack In Paradise

Posted: 05 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

This is a picture I took of myself about thirty minutes after I had one of my more fun-filled panic attacks while on vacation last week. Sexy, right?! See that background? That's one of the entrances to the beautiful hotel I was staying in. If you look close enough you can see the neon blue ocean water that was my backyard for most of my time in Maui. The weather was absolutely perfect every day. I was there for one of my closest childhood friend's wedding along with my family and just over twenty other guests, most of whom I have known since the age of nine.

Basically there was absolutely zero reason why I should have felt anything but relaxed and utterly at ease, which really is how I felt for 90% of the time I was away. It was my first vacation without my children and I knew they were safe at home with their dad. I missed them, sure, but knew I needed that alone time enough to prevent any sort of second guessing the trip.

I guess I'm saying all of this to make the point that anxiety, mine at least, doesn't give two shits about reasoning or logic or how I should feel in any given situation. Usually it's quite the opposite. Just like every not-so-great emotion, my anxiety can range from mildly uncomfortable to holy-mother-of-God-we're-all-dying-nothing's-okay-kill-me-now kind of stuff. The picture above is what my face looked like thirty minutes after one of the pretty gnarly panic attacks had passed.

I would have taken a picture while I was actually having the panic attack except my brain was too busy convincing me I'd never be able to breathe again. I'm talking full-on body sweats, shaking so bad I couldn't hold a water bottle to my mouth, tunnel vision so intense I thought there was some kind of solar eclipse happening (there wasn't), and hyperventilating to the point of almost passing out. Luckily my brother and my mom were there in the room when it happened and are both blessed with the same ass-crushing anxiety that I have. One of them brought me a bag of ice and put it on the back of my neck while the other helped pour water into my mouth and gave me my medicine as I sat on the hotel balcony gasping for air, squeaking out I. can't. breathe. over and over.

Now is probably the time to give an explanation of the events that lead up to that happening on the hotel balcony so that it makes sense, but I'm sorry to say I don't have one. I got a great night of sleep the night before, FaceTimed my kids a little earlier and ate a nice breakfast in the outdoor cafe where I could hear the waves washing smoothly up onto the sand. I'm not kidding when I say I was in paradise.

The plan for the day was for me, my brother, sister-in-law and good friend to go to a special beach where you can watch turtles sunbathe on the sand, then we’d grab lunch before heading back to the hotel to get ready for my friend's wedding in the afternoon. I vaguely recall standing by the ironing board in my room feeling my heart start to beat faster and think I said something to my brother about being anxious. It couldn't have been more than two minutes later that I found myself in the midst of a full-blown panic attack.

Dealing with anxiety is crappy and hard enough on it's own. Full-blown panic attacks are absolutely unbearable and are every bit as real and scary as any other medical emergency I've seen, and I work as a psychiatric clinician in an emergency room so rest assured I've seen some scary stuff!

If you've never experienced one, consider yourself lucky because it's something I wouldn't wish on anyone, not even my awful neighbor who sets off fireworks at 1 a.m. and leaves dog poo (I swear it's on purpose) right in front of the door to my car. (That's right, Cheryl, I'm on to you, and yes, I'm the one who called the cops about the fireworks.)

Anyway, the good news is that I know I'm not alone in struggling with this. Both the neighbor issue and the panic attacks, but more so the panic attacks. When it's happening I feel like there's no way anyone else can possibly understand or make it better and, though there's some truth to that in that very moment, I've found that allowing myself to talk about it has been something that has connected me to people I never would have otherwise met. Not necessarily the most fun thing to have in common with someone, but definitely comforting.

I debated whether or not to include that picture with this post because it's definitely less than flattering, but I remember feeling compelled to take it that morning because it was real and unfiltered and honest. I went on to have an amazing day with my family and friends and turtles and enjoyed every second of watching my friend marry the love of her life. I didn't go blind and I'm happy to report that I can, in fact, breathe (I'm doing it at this very moment).

I don't care to try to figure out why I struggle with this any more because my anxiety already takes up too much space in my head. It sucks, yes, but talking about it makes me feel human.

The post What It’s Like To Have A Panic Attack In Paradise appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Your Teen Or Tween Is Probably Watching Porn—Here’s What To Do

Posted: 05 Jan 2019 06:00 PM PST

A friend, as he was handing me two pornographic DVDs almost 20 years ago, told me this: "No one buys porn. You just acquire it." I realize there were holes in his statement, but for me it was true. It still is. From my early teen years, to that mid-20s exchange, to this past summer when a hotel desk clerk opened the browser on my phone to enter the WiFi code and saw an unclosed tab to a free porn site instead of a search engine, I have never purchased the porn I consume. To be clear, I don't watch a ton of porn, but it's something I enjoy from time to time. And because I was snooping around my parents' bedroom when I was a curious kid looking for dirty magazines, I fully expect my kids to do the modern day online version of this when they are older.

A University of New Hampshire survey reported that before they were age 18, 93% of male college students and 62% of female students revealed they had viewed online porn. Another study concluded that 42% of 10-17 year old internet users saw online porn. This study also pointed out that 66% of those viewers said it was accidental or unwanted exposure. If you have a tween or teen, they are likely watching porn too. Here's how to handle it.

Check In Without Shame

Perhaps you "stumbled" across your kid's internet history or overheard them to talking to buddies about things they could have only learned by watching porn. There are lots of free porn sites, folks. With lots of categories and lots of stuff to see. If your kid has access to the internet, they have probably found porn. I suspect many parents would panic and try to shut that shit down. Don't. Monitor your child's internet use with parental filters, but know that they likely have unrestricted internet access with some of their friends. Use this as an opportunity to have a really important conversation about sex and sexual identities.

We want our kids to ask us questions and come to us with tough topics. As hard as it is, if we can find a way to be comfortable when talking about sex, we will allow our kids to be more comfortable too. If you haven't had the sex talk yet with your tween, do that now. If you haven't had it with your teen, also do that now. If you have had the talk with your child, have it again. Kids talk about this stuff and if we want them to get the correct information, we need to be the ones giving it.

A teen who is comfortable talking about sex doesn't necessarily equate to one who is having lots of it. But hopefully it will lead to safer sex because they have been given accurate information.

So if you discover that your child is viewing porn, instead of yelling at or punishing your child for what truly is a normal and natural rite of passage, ask them questions. Find out why they are watching it. Most likely it's out of curiosity. They want answers, and if they aren't getting them from their teachers or you, they will find them—accurate or not—in other places. Our schools' sexual education is failing our kids, especially our LGBTQ students. Teens know there is more to sex than abstinence and penis-meets-vagina intercourse, and they're naturally going to be curious about what all is out there.

So, as parents, it is our job to be informed. Don't just put a blocker on your WiFi and assume your kids aren't watching porn. This is denial and it helps no one, least of all your kid. Ask your child if they have any questions about what they have seen. Leave space for them to admit what they don't understand or what doesn't make sense. Or even what seemed interesting to them. Do your best to not be uptight, and be prepared to listen. Be prepared to not know. And be prepared to learn together. Oh, I get it. It's awkward as fuck to Google "reverse cowgirl" with your 16 year old, but at least you are both informed.

Again, curiosity doesn't have to mean action. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy survey done in 2010 found 13% of young men 15 to 22 said porn influenced their decisions about sex; this was also the same number of men who said sex education influenced their decisions.

Elizabeth Schroeder, a sexuality education expert says this: “There isn’t a true causation of ‘I saw this in porn, and therefore I’m going to do it.' Are there examples of that? Absolutely. Just like examples of kids who saw this violence on TV and … acted on it, but there are so many kids who see the same kind of violence or porn and don’t act on it that we can’t really say there’s a causation.”

When I was a teenager, same-gender sex was never discussed in health class. I knew I was queer at an early age, so I turned to porn and poorly made girl-on-girl romances to see what my version of a sexual relationship might look like. Ask your kids what kind of sex they are curious about. Are they trying to find representation? You may have a queer kid and finding their porn history may indicate something about their sexuality or gender identity. Tread lightly if they haven't come out to you yet. Let them know you love them unconditionally, but do not force them out of the closet.

Educate Without Shame

After gathering information, you will want to stress a few things to your child. First of all, make sure you get a sense how much time they are spending watching porn. Be clear that school work, extracurricular activities, family time, and friendships should not be put at risk or damaged because of the amount of time watching porn.

It's also a good idea to let your teens know that what they are seeing are romanticized ideas of sex, fetishes, and unrealistic expectations—especially for women. Women like porn too, but most of it is made for men and the videos often show women in positions of submission and being used at a man's discretion. Lesbian porn, or threesomes with two women, are made for men's consumption and are not accurate portrayals of what most queer women want when it comes to sex. Let your straight sons know that what they are seeing isn't necessarily a product of healthy and loving sexual relationships. Don't shut down the porn, per se, but shut down the idea that women are their playthings.

Not only could tweens and teens see unrealistic sexual relationships, they will likely stumble across illegal abuse and rape. Gang rape, child rape, and other awful acts of depravity can easily be seen. There is a dangerous side of pornography that needs to be addressed too.

This should lead to talks about protection and consent. A lot of porn does not include birth control or STD protection—condoms and dental dams are not part of foreplay or intercourse in pornos. However, they must be a part of our child's sexual experiences. Consent is a must, too. Whether your sexuality active son or daughter is having standard, missionary style sex or engaging in other kinky acts, there has to be agreement on both sides. There also has to be an understanding that protection is non-negotiable and if one of the people involved decides they are not comfortable, then game over. Consent happens before, during, and after sex.

Oh, and tell your kid to avoid the pop-up adds. That shit will wreck your phone or hard drive.

Kids will acquire the information they seek. Make sure you help them navigate sex in all its forms, porn included.

Sites like Planned Parenthood and Sex, etc., a site for teens by teens, are great resources for you and your child to get the information needed to make all of this a little easier to talk about and a lot safer to do.

The post Your Teen Or Tween Is Probably Watching Porn—Here's What To Do appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Viral Thread Shows Just How Common Child Predators Are In Society

Posted: 05 Jan 2019 10:08 AM PST

This viral thread is eye-opening

Amid the discussion surrounding Lifetime‘s new documentary, ‘Surviving R. Kelly,’ a viral thread prompted a very important question. How many of us have encountered or shrugged off rumors of child predators in our very own communities?

If you haven’t been watching ‘Surviving R. Kelly,’ do yourself a favor and watch it. His alleged victims deserve to have as many people hear their harrowing stories. It’s mind-boggling to see how easily he’s been able to prey upon young, teenage girls for decades — and even more upsetting to see how rape culture has enabled his abuse.

The dialogue surrounding Kelly on social media has brought forth many startling, interesting points. Sports writer Julie DiCaro sparked a discussion about child predators in our communities, asking women to share their stories.

“How many of us went to high schools where there were always rumors about the football coach and underage girls? Or a favorite history teacher? Or an older guy who came to all the parties?” she asks.

And it’s a valid question because you absolutely won’t find a woman alive who can’t answer it.

The stories go on and on. Personally, I can think of more than a handful of creeps who fit this bill. The teacher who massaged the shoulders of female students sitting at their desks. The older guy who still came to high school parties years after he graduated. The male administrator who regularly policed the lengths of girls’ skirts and was the subject of much side-eye and speculation.

We all know them. We all live and grow among them. And rape culture enables them to continue their behavior — because a majority of these types of men won’t ever face consequences.

What’s even more enraging is how often, the young girls are blamed for the abuse that happens to them. The societal conditioning in regards to excusing this behavior or blowing it off altogether must stop.

Bottom line: a teenager is still a child — biologically and legally — and a child cannot consent.

The post Viral Thread Shows Just How Common Child Predators Are In Society appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Nancy Pelosi Is Introducing A Bill That Would Require Gun Background Checks

Posted: 05 Jan 2019 09:23 AM PST

Nancy Pelosi’s new bill will require universal background checks on gun sales

Nancy Pelosi is not wasting any time. Her first move as Speaker of the House is to introduce a bill that requires universal background checks on gun sales. The proposal will be introduced on Tuesday, the eighth anniversary of former Rep. Gabby Gifford's nearly fatal shooting.

Pelosi is joining forces with Rep. Mike Thompson, who leads the Democrat’s task force on gun violence, to unveil this potentially groundbreaking bill.

"Since the shooting at Sandy Hook, the Gun Violence Prevention Task Force has been fighting for a chance to pass legislation that will help save lives," Thompson explained in a statement. "Finally, with our new majority that ran on helping to prevent gun violence, we will introduce a bipartisan, universal background checks bill. We will hold hearings, we will have a vote, and this legislation will finally pass the House."

The bill would make federal background checks mandatory on all gun sales, including private gun sales. There will be a few small exceptions written in, like exchanges between family members and the temporary use of weapons for hunting. This might seem like a no brainer but, according to Politico, about one-fifth of gun sales don’t include background checks.

Given the staggering number of people who have died from gun violence recently – by November there had been 307 mass shootings in 2018 alone– Pelosi and Thompson’s bill couldn’t come at a more pressing time.

"In communities across America, courageous survivors, families and young advocates are showing outstanding courage and persistence in demanding an end to the horrific scourge of gun violence in our nation," Pelosi said in a statement. "It is an honor to join Congressman Mike Thompson and former Congresswoman Gabby Giffords to answer their call by taking the first step to pass commonsense background checks – which 97 percent of the American people support."

The bill will be named H.R. 8 in honor of Giffords, who was shot and severely wounded while speaking to constituents in 2011. Giffords said in a statement that she is “thrilled” that the United States House of Representatives “will no longer sit silent as our nation reels from the growing gun violence epidemic.”

While the bill has a very solid chance of passing in the now Democrat-controlled House, it will likely be shut down in the Republican-controlled Senate. One step at a time.

The post Nancy Pelosi Is Introducing A Bill That Would Require Gun Background Checks appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Hundreds Of TSA Workers Are Calling In Sick During Government Shutdown

Posted: 05 Jan 2019 08:47 AM PST

TSA workers are calling in sick during the government shutdown because they’re being forced to work for free

The partial government shutdown has entered its second week and we’re already seeing the awful, damaging consequences. Hundreds of TSA officers – who are required to work for free during a shutdown – have been calling in sick at at least four major airports, according to CNN. If this pattern continues, flight safety could be called into question.

The government shutdown shows no signs of ending (in fact, Trump threatened that it could last for "months or even years"). That means that there will likely be more and more TSA officers who won’t come into work (because why should they if they’re not being paid??) “This will definitely affect the flying public who we (are) sworn to protect,” Hydrick Thomas, president of the national TSA employee union, told CNN.

170 TSA workers called in sick at John F. Kennedy International Airport this week, forcing the workers who did come in to work extra hours. Meanwhile, in Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport, sick calls jumped by a whopping 200%-300%.

A union official at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport warned that this issue will only get worse as the shutdown continues, noting that workers will likely start looking for other jobs.

“This problem of call outs is really going to explode over the next week or two when employees miss their first paycheck,” the source told CNN. “TSA officers are telling the union they will find another way to make money. That means calling out to work other jobs.”

TSA spokesman Michael Bilello assured the public that airline security “will not be compromised and performance standards will not change.” He claimed that the call outs have caused “minimal impact” – though – if TSA employees continue not to show up to work, he said that airport wait times could increase.

Should this pattern continue and customers don’t have a long wait time,  one TSA official warned that could be a sign that airports are skimping on safety measures. “If you’re not seeing long wait times at airports, there’s something on the security side they’re not doing,” the official told CNN.

Here’s hoping this government shutdown ends quickly and cleanly. So many workers are counting on it.

The post Hundreds Of TSA Workers Are Calling In Sick During Government Shutdown appeared first on Scary Mommy.