#Funny News

#Funny News


Nancy Pelosi Claims Trump is Using Census to ‘Make America White Again’

Posted: 08 Jul 2019 06:36 PM PDT

You might have heard a bunch of lefties whining about the proposal for a citizenship question on the census. Trumpy would like very much to know who is a citizen in ‘Murica and who isn’t. Lefties would rather us leave that stone unturned. According to Nancy Pelosi, this is a plot by the Trumpster to “make America white again.”

Seriously:

Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) argued Monday that President Trump‘s push to include a citizenship question on the 2020 census is an effort to “make America white again” in an adaptation of his campaign slogan.

Pelosi, like other critics of adding the citizenship question to the 2020 census, argued that it could result in racial minorities being undercounted so that legislative maps can be drawn more favorably for Republicans.

“They want to make sure that people, certain people, are counted. It’s really disgraceful. And it’s not what our founders had in mind,” Pelosi said. “What they want to do is put a chilling effect so certain populations will not answer the form.”

Yep, such a query would be totally racist.

Top Gun Iceman Bullshit

Call me crazy, but it sounds to me like Nance is worrying about not being able to pump up the Democrats’ numbers. Even though some of the people filling out those districts might be trespassers.

Here’s a crazy idea. Illegals have no right to be here. Asking someone’s citizenship status is well within the realm of reasonable inquiry. If a person who fills out the census form is here without permission, we politely give them a ride back to their country of origin. If they’re legal immigrants, they have nothing to worry about. Seems fair to me.

Contrary to the left’s beliefs, not everything is racist. An unwelcome Canuck would be in the same boat ICE van as Hispanic illegals. The point is ensuring people play by the rules. Plain and simple.

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‘Stranger Things’ Character Explains the Finer Points of Capitalism

Posted: 08 Jul 2019 05:20 PM PDT

One of the last things you’d expect to hear on a Hollywood production is a pro-capitalism speech. Though, on season 3 of Stranger Things we were treated to that very thing. Courtesy of little Erica.

Enjoy:

DUSTIN: Erica? Hi. Uh…We think these Russians want to do harm to our country. Great harm. Don’t you love your country?
ERICA: You can’t spell “America” without “Erica.” …

ERICA: Know what I love most about this country? Capitalism. Do you know what capitalism is?
DUSTIN: Yeah.
ROBIN: Yeah.
ERICA: It means that this is a free market system. Which means people get paid for their services depending on how valuable their contributions are. And it seems to me my ability to fit in that little vent is very very valuable to you all. So, you want my help? This USS Butterscotch better be the first of many. And I’m talking free ice cream for life.

I don’t think anyone could have explained it better.

Little Erica here has the right idea. The value of your supply is equal to the demand. If you have a good or service which other peeps want badly, you’re gonna be able to squeeze them for more ducats. This incentive is what drives people to innovate. Hence the glorious place we call the U-S-of-A.

Lefties will tell you capitalism is merely a system where the rich jack poor people’s wealth. Which, in and of itself, makes no sense. On account of poor people by definition not having any money to steal. In reality, capitalism is merely the voluntary exchange of goods and services for an agreed-upon price.

Stranger Things is already a pretty good show. Their speaking of capitalism in a positive light only makes it even better.

As for the opposite of capitalism:

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Eric Swalwell Calls it Quits, Pulls Out of Presidential Race

Posted: 08 Jul 2019 04:31 PM PDT

Welp, here we are. It would appear as though this election cycle has claimed its first casualty. I am sad to report our favorite lefty man-child, Eric Swalwell, is calling it quits. Here are his closing remarks:

“Today ends our presidential campaign, but it is the beginning of an opportunity in Congress, with a new perspective shaped by the lives that have touched mine and our campaign throughout these last three months, to bring that promise of America to all Americans,” Swalwell said, speaking at his campaign headquarters in California.

“To believe that it will be the next generation whose leadership will solve climate chaos, bring cures in our lifetime for health care, address the student loan debt crisis and make sure that we say enough is enough, we don’t have to live this way anymore and that we love our children more than we love our guns,” he said.

On the bright side, this will give little Eric plenty of time to fantasize about being a member of the Avengers. Play with his toys. Catch up on some z’s in his car bed. There’s always a silver lining.

As for Eric’s gun remark, the two are not mutually exclusive. One can love both the right to bear arms and the younglings. Much like one can feel an enormous amount of pity for Swalwell and mock the bejeezus out of him at the same time.

Don’t think he’s calling it quits for good. Swalwell has a bright future ahead of him. His unparalleled ability to make an ass out of himself will carry him far among his like-minded lefties. So, I highly doubt this will be last time we see his melted Ken doll face. Fare thee well, Suckwell. We shall meet again.

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